Jetta and Gerard kiss! :D
This could be my only chance at even kissing Gerard. Surprised at my thought, I felt my chest burn a little, it was true. I didn't know if Gerard just thought of us as friends, this was a perfect way to see. I smirked and stood up. Everyone quieted down as I walked over to Gerard, the smile on my face was probably unnerving. It was the one I wore when I used to talk to the football players. Like you can have me all you want, but this time I meant it. Gerard could have me anytime he wanted as far as I was concerned.
I sat down on the couch, the fabric sinking to match my weight. I grinned as he glanced down and started playing with his hands.
"You really don't have to, the guys were just being assholes." He shot them a look. I nearly giggled, he was really nervous, biting his lip, and his eyes wouldn't meet mine. I raised my hand to his chin, and turned his head to face mine. His skin was soft, but I pushed that thought away from my head and leaned my head into his, and kissed him. At first I was shocked at the feeling I got. It was almost like the high I had the night before when I'd cut myself with the pencil sharpener blade. It made me happy, almost a drunk and giddy high, but happy.
Then I remembered I was performing a dare and I started throwing in a moan or two and made it look like I was pushing my tongue into his mouth. Gerard himself was pretty still, and he was even the one to pull away, clearing his throat afterword. I felt my happiness slide away, and was replaced with a hollow feeling, though I made it look like I had a small grin on my face. The guys started clapping Gerard on the shoulder in congratulations and Frank caught my eye, and saw my sad look. He frowned but bit his lip to stay silent.
The rest of the night was spent do the game, I refused to do anymore dares and went with truths, telling them what football player fucked the worst and which one of them was the cutest. The first question was easy, I knew they were trying to figure out if I was still a virgin, so I gave them one of the names that had been tossed around in the cheer leading locker room. Brandon Maller was the worst of them, as Dana put it, he couldn't pick a woman from a horse. The second one I smiled and let Frank have his moment. And he did, which involved him running around and doing victory dances. Finally it was time for sleep, it was around 1:23 in the morning.
Frankie and Mikey went upstairs, Frankie holding my eyes as if to cheer me up before he left. I smiled and just shrugged. He smiled and went up the stairs. Everyone got into their beds, me on the couch, everyone else on Gerard's bed, which was fun. Seeing four grown men trying to fit on a mattress was hilarious. Gerard was the one to turn off the lights, and he shot me a glance as he flipped the switch. While the guys were grumbling about having to share a bed, I felt someone's lip at my ear. I jumped, but then I heard Gerard's voice.
"Don't be scared, but come up to the kitchen, kay'?", he asked, his voice barely a whisper and it tickled my ear. I nodded and he walked away, it was then that I heard someone going up the stairs, and I got up quietly.
I knew she had followed me and I turned to her in the kitchen. She was standing there, waiting for me to do something, and leaned against the wall to show it. Even now she looked great, I had to give my mom points, those red streaks made her look even more beautiful. It had taken a lot not to just kiss the hell out of her down in my room. But there was something I had to understand.
I bit my lip, and walked up to her. I saw her eyes widen as I took a hold of her arm in a careful grip and started pulling her sleeve up. She didn't protest but her eyes were on me the whole time. I didn't finish with just pulling the sleeve up, I tore at the bandage and pulled it off her. And there in my hand was her wrist, completely hacked at with straight lines and some of them closed up and others oozing. I traced them with my finger hovering over her skin. I let go of her arm and it returned to her side.
"Why would you do that?", I asked gruffly. She licked her lips.
"Because I heard that cutting made endorphins release into your system to make you chemically happy, and I was sad.", she said lamely. I felt my anger raise at her, she was doing this because she was unhappy? I felt a need to hug her, try to make her happy, but I kept my questioning going on.
"And you think that tearing up your skin is a way to be happy?", I demanded, my voice level, but I saw her flinch. Then the nod came. I took a deep breath. Why would she do that? Was it the cheerleader's fault? Was it her mom? Even if all of that effected her, she shouldn't have went to cutting of all things!
"Are you going to do it again?", I asked, raising an eyebrow, and I saw her stiffen. And then she broke down.
I felt the tears well up in my eyes, I knew he thought I was disgusting, and I felt nauseous at myself. If only he knew how depressed I had been then he'd know why I did that. And that's when I felt him hug me. And that set me off.
"I was just sad and I didn't know what to do Gerard.", I mumbled, tears rolling down my cheeks. "So many things were just going wrong and I wanted to feel happy, it wasn't like I did it to kill myself." I kept rambling on into his chest as he hugged me, his arms tight.
"It's okay, at least you're here now." I looked up at him sniffling and smiled. That was true, at least I was here with friends and a really good friend in front of me. And that's when his hand came around my cheek, stroking it. I froze, what was he doing, wasn't he disgusted by me? His reaction from the dare made it seem that way. But now he was touching me and his eyes looked at me with caring and a certain sense of protectiveness.
"Is this alright?", his eyes dropped to uneasiness before I nodded.
"Look, I'm not sure what you think, but there's something I wanted to do before, but I was afraid to. . .", he trailed off and I was confused. Then I saw his eyes glance down at my lips and I understood what he wanted to do. I looked him straight in the eye, and he got my answer. He kissed me and I got the same shock as before, but now it was Gerard with the crazy lips, not me. But then he froze as he felt the bandages on my neck.