Gerard doesn't understand.
3 weeks later.
“CLEAN THIS MESS UP NOW!”
Lindsey was glaring at Gerard murderously. He and Bandit had been having a bit of fun with finger painting in the kitchen when she had come back from her daily errands, and unfortunately some of it had splattered on the floor and the table. Even still, Lindsey was having a rather harsh reaction.
“We’re not finished with B’s painting! I’ll clean it up after, I promi ---“
“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. All you two ever fucking do is mess up my house when I work so fucking hard to keep it clean!”, she shrieked.
“Okay! Okay! I’m sorry…”, Gerard scrambled to clean up the work station. He wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible. In his rush, he knocked over a whole cup of black paint and spilt it on the maroon carpet. He looked at it in horror, knowing he was going to pay for that.
“You fucking idiot!”, Lindsey screamed in frustration, smacking him in the head. He yelped.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”, Gerard cowered at his wife’s fury. In the corner, they could hear that Bandit had started crying again.
Gerard made to go bring Bandit to her room, but Lindsey, seeing what he was about to do, scooped her up first.
“I’ll do it.”, she scowled, “You can’t do anything right.”
Gerard backed off reluctantly as she walked out of the kitchen with a very tense Bandit in her arms. Sighing, Gerard got out some wet towels and started cleaning, taking some relief that Lindsey had left. He had never fathomed that he would ever feel such a way, but lately his wife’s moods had become something to be feared. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into her. Gerard had noticed a sadness in her a while back. He had tried to talk to her, tried to figure out what had made the beautiful smile he loved so much disappear, but he had failed. Now her sadness had turned into anger, and he remained just as confused. He had mentally retraced his steps over and over, trying to remember if he had done something wrong. So far, he hadn’t had any luck.
Maybe she just didn’t love him anymore?
Gerard started wiping a smudge of paint rather furiously as he blinked back tears.
They were eating dinner. KFC was what was on the table, and everyone was eating their fried chicken in silence. Gerard hated silence, but it was better than all they yelling they had been doing lately. Apparently, Bandit didn’t like silence as well.
“Godzilla!”, she yelled merrily. Godzilla had been introduced to her a few months ago via her uncle Frank. Every now and then, Bandit liked to play “Godzilla” by pretending she was a giant monster who destroyed everything in her path. As one could imagine, this never ended well for the area she playing was in or the people she was playing around.
“No, no Godzilla.” , Gerard shook his head at her. He knew where this would lead if he didn’t stop her now.
“GODZILLA!”, Bandit screamed even louder, taking a handful of mash potatoes and throwing into the wall opposite her.
“BANDIT!”, Lindsey screamed furiously. Gerard quickly got up and went to go put Bandit into her room before the situation escalated any further. As he lifted her from behind, Bandit still had not decided to finish playing. She took her plate of chopped up chicken pieces and flipped it into the ground.
“RAWR!”, Bandit chirped.
Lindsey advanced on her.
“You little brat!”, she screamed and the sharp sound of a slap rang through the room.
Lindsey stared in shock. She had just hit her own daughter. She barely had time to register the thought before an angry Gerard came upon her, having put down Bandit, who was now in tears once more.
“How fucking dare you…”, Gerard growled menacingly. Lindsey started backing away fearfully – there was something frightening in his eyes, where kindness usually showed. He was getting close. She tried to push him away. He grabbed both her wrists and pinned her against the table. She roved her eyes over him. His chest was heaving. She stayed silent, knowing she had already pushed him over the edge. He seemed to be making a decision. She could feel his breath on her face.
He grunted and released her roughly before turning his back and walking away.
Lindsey was driving home from another pick up. Ryan, her dealer, had been generous tonight and she couldn’t wait to get home and have at some of that lovely white powder. She hadn’t gotten much of a chance with Gerard in the house, which added to her cranky moods. But tonight he was out with a friend of his, and she had the house all to herself. She sped through the night faster, her excitement growing stronger.
Fifteen minutes later she was home, and she slammed the door behind her in relief, walking quickly up the stairs to the master bedroom. She swung the door open and shoved her hand into her purse, pulling out the little baggie when a voice stopped her dead in her tracks.
“What’cha got there?”
Lindsey looked up in horror to see Gerard sitting cross legged on the bed, staring at her with a dark expression on his face.
“What are you doing here?”, was all she managed to say.
“Andrew canceled.”, Gerard answered as he got off the bed and walked over her. “Let me see what’s in your purse.”
“Why?”, Lindsey found herself backing away from Gerard again.
“Just let me see.”, he said, his voice calm but firm.
Gerard grabbed for her bag, and she fought to pull it away, but Gerard was determined. He struggled with her for under a minute before he managed to grab it, reach into it, and pull out the baggie of cocaine inside almost immediately.
“I fucking knew it.”
Lindsey gauged her husband’s reaction. He looked disappointed rather than angry.
“It’s only this once!”, Lindsey insisted.
“Don’t do that Linds… I know what the signs of having an addiction are. I, after all, am an addict. I can tell. I’ve suspected for a while now.”
“I’m sorry…”, she breathed out, knowing there was no point in arguing.
“Just… why?”, Gerard frowned, “I thought we were both over this kind of stuff. What changed?”
“I don’t know Gerard…”
Lindsey looked at her husband and had to suppress tears, her heart sinking at his sad expression.
“..I guess I just wasn’t as happy as I thought I was.”
Next chapter: Mikey’s confused. Gerard is heartbroken. And Lindsey won’t see any of it.