Kagome writes down a few random entries into her journal... about her very less perceptive Hanyou. (needs some work i know.. but hey.. it was a good idea at the time. R&R nicely lovlies!)
Naraku is gone again, I am sitting here in the hut alone... Inuyasha is sulking again... like usual. We got the completed jewel, and now I have a very big decision to make... do I stay? Or go? I don't know... and he sure as hell isn't making this any easier. I think I hear him coming... God, I hope he is... I would really like him to come to his senses and open up to me... but really? What are the chances of that one ever happening.
Journal Entry, Date:1999, the 29th of June.
Last night, Inuyasha came in to the hut ... he must have thought I was asleep, instead of letting him know that I wasn't, I just let him assume that I was deep in slumber. He was acting so odd, he kept watching me... I know, I could feel those warm amber jewels of his on me. I felt it... I know he loves me. So why can't he tell me? I feel like I am whining about it. When I awoke the next morning and questioned his sleeping beside my bed, he got agitated and refused to answer me. Throwing up his dumb defenses again. But I could catch a glimpse of something in his eyes that said another thing. I couldn't read it but... oh what ever. Today is going to be a long day.
Journal Entry, Date: 1999, the 30th of June.
Today, I made my decision. Reluctantly of course, but it is made. I am no longer going to be a traveler to and from the Feudal era. I don't know, but today when we were sitting at the river's bank, I just got a sense from Inuyasha that he didn't care. I asked him if he wanted me to stay and he just looked away. Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions, perhaps it was just too hard for him to say, but I can't take this lightly... this is the rest of my life... and his. Tomorrow... is going to be a sad day I know... I wish I could stop the tears... No one has made an attempt to console me... I am alone. So I ask solemnly... what is the point in giving everything up that I have been raised into? Especially because I am in love with someone who doesn't even bother to make his own feelings known to me.
Journal Entry, Date: 1999, the 2nd of July.
My thoughts do nothing but consume my entire being. Some days, it's so bad that I cannot decipher what is wrong from what isn't. There he was, just standing there like any boy would after you said that you were leaving for good...only his face was stoic. It was so frustrating, why couldn't he just tell me that he loved me? I know he does so why? Did he not have the guts to do it? Or do I just /think /that he loves me? I think about this too much, it's always up there... rattling itself around in my brain... until I feel as if I am going completely mad with the situation. I've tried everything to be rid of this need to express my love for that buffoon.... That beautiful hanyou in my dreams, that BAKA INUYASHA! Everything... but of course the one thing that I should do. Perhaps if I went back through the well and told him how /I /feel, felt.... Then he might follow suit and stop being such a jerk. Anyways, I dreamt of him again last night, these dreams only get more and more intensified as my heart yearns to see him again... as this game keeps playing out. This time, we were beneath the Goshinboku... he had kissed me so softly... a bit more intense than he had the first time he /really /kissed me, so much so that it left me breathless. He brought his hand to my face and as I looked into his eyes I realized that... there was no need for words to be spoken. He had started to kiss me in places that could possibly lead up to much more, but I awoke before it got that far. I always do. /UGH/!!! Mother says that perhaps I keep dreaming of him because I cannot let go of a love that was never returned. That because I only thought he loved me... but he never said it... that I am stuck.... Unmoving until I find out. Heh... makes one wonder. I miss him so much. There is just so much I need to say to him, but what if ... damn; there is a noise outside of my window. I could have sworn... that ...no ... not possible... ha-ha stupid Kagome, I could have sworn that Inuyasha was.... Omg... Inuyasha... he's...
Journal Entry, Date: 1999, the 5th of July.
Sorry, I haven't written in here for a while... although I am not sure who I am apologizing to. This has been the WIERDEST week... Inuyasha, he came back that night, he said words that I only dreamt him to say and... well, I decided that for now on, I will spend my future in the past. What else is a girl to do? I thought I would be torn about the decision to leave my home and family, but I started to realize over the past few days that... I am old enough to make my own decisions and.... I chose to make them with Inuyasha. I love him. Now I am sure of that. Mother is totally supportive of me going back to the feudal era for good, although I know it saddens her... she is very understanding. God, who would have thought that I would fall in love with that fool. I know that ... in many ways that makes me a fool too, but I don't even mind that assumption a bit. I just want to shout it from the roof tops... I LOVE HIM! Gosh, I sound silly ha-ha but the smile that is plastered on my face seems permanent. I suppose that now I should start to write my entries in feudal time...I cannot believe that I am going to be someone's wife... I cannot believe anything that has happened as of late... but then again... almost everything that has EVER happened to me has been abit... out of sorts. Well, signing off for now I suppose...He is waiting for me, happily for once...