Neon signs. Cop cars speeding by. The street lamp you're under when you're making that deal. The flashlights you hide from when they are looking for you. The lights you see when your flying so so h...
"You can not keep living like this you know..." The middle aged man fixed his expensive, gray suit, looking down at his son who was sitting at the dining room table.
"Dad, I am twenty-seven. You can hardly tell me what to do..." The young man ran a hand through his messy, greasy, black hair.
"Listen... You know how hard it is when people come over? I mention all the great things your brother has done, him going to medical school, becoming a doctor. What are you doing Gerard?" The man turned around for a moment and fixed his tie in front of the mirror near the hall closet. "All you do is sit in that nasty apartment that you barley can pay for, and you get high all day."
"What, am I embarrassing you? Why don't you just tell your expensive friends that I'm dead? And it's not like I am asking you for money or anything... I haven't ever stolen from you. I leave you alone most of the time, and you invited me here remember?" Gerard tapped his foot on the tiled floor, the clean, almost too clean tile. It disgusted him how clean everything was.
"Gerard, listen, I am not gonna argue with you. I wanted you to come for dinner, and meet some of the guys from work. That's all. If you're going to show your ass, then don't stay." He turned around, showing an aging face, the wrinkles in his forehead form worry, from stress. He would never full on say to his son that he worries countless nights over his safety. That was his mother's job. He was the hard one, the tough love that backed up his mother's soft heart.
"Okay, uh, talking to me like when I was 17 isn't really working. It didn't work when I was a teenager, it won't work now. And why didn't you tell me that there was a dinner tonight when you called?"
"Because I know you wouldn't show."
"Well, your right... I gotta go dad."
Gerard got up from the table, and looked at his dad, not sure if he should just give him one of those meaningless hugs, or leave without it. He decided to just give him a nod, and leave. As he walked down the stone steps that lead down to the stone path to the driveway, he let out a sigh. 'Almost painless, it was almost painless.' He hated having talks with his father, the man who had everything going for him and Gerard happened to be that one smudge on his social resume'. Gerard pulled a pack of Marlboro reds and took out a cigarette. As he fumbled in his pockets for his lighter, he stood there for a moment, trying to get it light.
"God damn it..." He messed with it a few more seconds before the flame light up the dark driveway with a small glow. He lit his cigarette, watching the end ash immediately as he took a long breath of the smoke. He felt a little more relaxed. He let out a plume of the gray smoke, and continued walking down the driveway. The only thing he could see was the end of his cigarette and the street light at the end of the road.