I'm on the edge of glory, And I'm hanging on a moment of truth, I'm on the edge of glory, And I'm hanging on a moment with you.
Gerard, after finally accepting the break, realized that he needed it. He needed to take a break from the air that is filling the bedroom and suffocating him. He's not sure how everyone can be so happy. He's not sure how they can be laughing. His boyfriend is dying and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Not the doctors, not their faith, and not him. He's been trying for months to fix his boyfriends failing organs. It's been four months since the news that the cancer inside his small lover had spread to other organs. It had been three months since the medicine stopped working. It had been three weeks since the doctors said that there was no opportunity for implants. It had been four days since the doctor told them Frank heart was slowing down. And it had been three hours since the doctor announced that 'It could be any hour now' and that he should 'Just try to make Frank as happy and comfortable as possible' because 'He's lived a good life'.
It was true. Frank had lived a good life. He was in a band with his best friends and he was famous, well until Frank was diagnosed with cancer then the friends decided to call it quits and work on Frank's recovery, recovery that would never come. Frank had found his soul mate in his best friend and they were crazy about each other. He had changed peoples lives. More importantly, he changed those lives with music, his passion. He had changed his own life. He watched his best friend and lover get clean and sober and become the hero that everyone knows he is. He saw his friends get married and he stood proud as a best man, watching Mikey and Ray say vows to love their partner forever.
Frank was happy. He wasn't like his boyfriend. He knew that he had done everything in this life that he was supposed to. He had made his mark. And he was okay with the fact that this was it. He was on the edge of glory.
Gerard on the other hand wasn't able to just let this go as quickly as Frank had. He needed his boyfriend in his life. He couldn't just let him leave. There was still so much more he and Frank needed to do. There were still so many lives that they had to save and the band couldn't do it without Frank. He was the heart of soul of it all. He wanted those kids to know that they were worth something. He wanted them to feel like they belonged. It wasn't fair that Frank was going to be taken away from this world, from those kids, from their friends, from him.
They were going to get married. They were going to travel to a state where it was legal and just do it. They were in love and they were happy. They were going to adopt a child when things started to slow down with the band. They were going to travel to Africa. Frank wanted to see the animals that he had only seen in captivity, in their natural habitat. Gerard could still remember when Frank told him about going to Africa.
“Gee, these aren't real Giraffes and those aren't real Zebras. Here they are trapped. They can't be their true selves. Now the ones in Africa, they're real. They're beautiful and free. Can we go see them one day, baby?” Frank looked up at his boyfriend with sparkling eyes. He was ready to see what he hadn't of the world yet.
“Of course we can, sugar. We can go there on our honeymoon or something.” Gerard looked at his small boyfriend with a wide smile. “Anything for you.”
That was, of course, all before the cancer cells attacked his small boyfriend. And now those cells would take away the only person who ever truly understood him and make that same small man miss out on all the graceful animals of the African dessert.
Gerard couldn't stand the quiet that was swarming around his head while he was outside and inhaling his own cancer. At least when he was inside he could hear all the stories of their past and think of the good times he had with Frank instead of the lonely ones he's going to face without him. When he was upstairs he could hear Frank's small quiet laugh and he could watch his eyes light up.
So deciding to leave the thoughts of his solitary future, Gerard stubbed out his cigarette and walked back into house that he and Frank worked hard on picking out. Climbing the stairs silently, he thought of the memories the walls in this house held. The walls knew all about their lives together. They knew about the kisses they shared, along with the hugs and laughs. They knew about the tears that were shed and the fights that were exchanged.
Once reaching the small white oak door, Gerard paused before turning the handle to push it open. This could be the last time he would walk into this room and see his boyfriend lying in their bed. This could be the last time he sees his boyfriend alive. Swallowing his fears, that were now becoming a reality, he pushes the door open and every head in the room turns to face his except for one, one who was looking out the window. But he's not interested in any of those heads, he's only interested in the frail man in the bed.
Frank, still looking out at the window, reached his hand out to find Gerard's. Gerard immediately made his way over to the bed, kneeling next to it and taking Frank's thin hand in both of his own.
“You need to go see those zebras, baby. I'm going once I get on the other side.” Frank smiled and turned his head slowly to face his lover. Once Gerard saw Frank's smile his heart melted. It was a real Frank smile. It wasn't weak or small. It was a big and happy smile. “Baby, I'm on the edge of glory, but I'm waiting on a moment with you.” And with those final soft words, Frank shut his eyes for the last time.
“I'll go, baby.” Gerard whispered back, resting his chin against the limp hand in his. “I'll meet you there.”
After those final words and the final resting of Frank Iero, Gerard made his reservations for Africa. He had to go meet his baby.
Ok, the story title and idea come from Lady Gags's song The Edge of Glory.
I wrote this at three in the morning while crying. (The song is so beautiful and sad.) So I apologize if it sucks.
Comment please! :D