If you read Full Of Holes,read this.Now.
But you probably don't give a shit about that.What you may give a shit about is that I'm best friends with unitedsuck007-or Lauren,as most know her,Lorna to a select few-in real life.We've been best friends for about ten years now.
I actually do not intend to put up stories on FicWad,but I think I should tell you guys something first.I need to tell you actually.
I don't think Lorna-Lauren's real name,which she hated with a passion-would have wanted me to put this up,but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Found Inside Lorna's Copy Of "The Communist Manifesto",on May 15th,2011.
We all knew it would come to this,hon.I don't think there was ever a time when this disease didn't try and fuck me up,but hey,that's the unleashing joy of being hyperglycaemic.(Note sarcasm in writer's tone.)
Sure,eighteen-well,eighteen and and one month-is no age to die,but who was it that said life's never fair?As the Germans say,"c'est la vie."Or maybe it's the Spaniards.Hmm.
This isn't a suicide note,Kath.It's just a...death note.I'm not that brave as to slit my trachea in half or blast my freshly-dyed hair across the walls.I just know that tonight's the night.Tonight's gonna be the night when my heart stops beating and my brain stops whirring and my throat stops humming Alkaline Trio and I'll just kick the bucket.God'll pull the plug.I'll bite the biscuit.Enter the dead zone.Whatever.I'm gonna die,Kathy.
I'm not scared.My life was too short to be scared.If I was scared I wouldn't have screamed in Ms.Wilkinson's face when she called me stupid.Or I wouldn't have prank called that old bat next door's house.I wouldn't have worn those The Who Converse-which display the Union Jack in all it's Britannia glory-down the streets of West Belfast.
No way,man.I fucking lived before I died.
Yeah,get my gravestone to say that,that's awesome.Well,minus the "fucking".Maybe.
And hey,it's not that bad.I'll get to see my mom,Elizabeth,and Gearoid.And that fly I killed yesterday.
I think I might go now.My hands are sweating so much I can barely hold this fecking pen,and my vision is so strained I can't see straight.God,this disease is fucking killing me.
Jayzus,that was the worst joke I've ever told.
I know this is weird,but Kath,I couldn't die without finishing Full of Holes.I really like that story,but moreover,I love the people on FicWad.They tick every box.
I love them.Remember Maria?I showed you a few haiku's she wrote,I think.I was so fucking surprised when she said she was thirteen!Jesus Christ,she wrote like a professional author.Or Eddi.Y'know,"Selfless" and "The Girls And Us."She was so fucking funny.I always fucking looked forward to her reviews.Tell everyone else hi from me,I love each and every one of them,they're fucking wicked.
You'll find the last few chapters of Full of Holes in my Microsoft Word.I think there's a fair few left,and I have a little surprise at the end.(I also included a sex chapter,because,let's face it,I can't die without involving some good ol' butt sex.)
So,I think that's pretty much it,Kath.Oh,make sure I'm wearing my Vans at the funeral,and that they play "Helena" and "Fire"-by Kasabian,although how fucking funny would it be if they played "Sex On Fire" at the funeral?Okay,fuck it,play "Sex On Fire"-and make sure Jane doesn't wear mascara.She cries and snorts like a walrus at funerals,so it'll run and that'll make her cry more.
Tell Dad,Maria,Jane,Jen,Julie,Peter,Atticus,and just about anybody else that I love em.Oh,and if you can,propose to Gerard Way for me.Shouldn't be too much trouble.
I love you too,Pizza.Not in the "I-love-you-let's-go-fuck-in-the-bushes" sense,but in the other way,if you get me?Like,if I was lesbian,you'd be pretty high up on my list.Along there with Beyonce and Alicia Way.It's kinda hard to beat them.
It's now settling into me,this dying shiz.Not going to college,not going to start a band and have such a laugh,meet someone and spend our lives together.Holy shit,I'm turning into some day time television programme.
Ah well,they should kinda give me some leeway.I'm dying at eighteen.
Gonna go now,Katherine,and I want you to have a good life,do whatever makes you happy and just live,baby.Don't take anybody's shit and never let them get you alive.
And I'm on fire,
your best friend,
xo Lorna Ni Ionnrachtaigh.
16th April 1993-May 15th 2011
Lorna was pronounced dead at approximately ten o'clock this morning.She had been suffering from super massive hyperglycaemia for several months,an extremely uncomfortable illness diabetics get.Sometimes her vision would disappear completely,and she'd be shaking like a leaf.She was severely underweight,and all her family and friends knew that she didn't have much time left. She was eighteen years old.
The above note-her "death note"-was timed at one a.m. the previous night.I'm the one she's talking to,I'm Kath.
I can't believe she's gone.
As she wanted me to,I will update Full of Holes when I can.Everything hence forth is written by Lorna.I have absolutely nothing to do with it.I'm simply doing her a last favour.