Frank confesses to Gerard--but they're interrupted by Lyn-z. Gerard then wants to tell Frank something in return.
Disclaimer: I have been told to put this here by my friend.. I don't own MCR or the people in this story.. And honestly Lyn-z is one of my favorite people ever so I love that chica, no matter how much you must make her evil in fanfiction. Some of the things in here might not be accurate because I'm a lazy bum and I don't like to look things up!
The following story has making out in it... and implied sex~ No details because my mind is just a little baby~ :) Be warned if you want to be warned.
“When I met you, I learned that gender doesn’t matter anymore.”
The words rang in Gerard’s ears. He looked directly into Frank’s eyes and saw the he was serious. Gerard had liked Frank. He always had, but he never expected Frank to like him back. Even after all the kisses on stage, Gerard had given up hope and gone with Lyn-z.
Now Frank was saying things that Gerard had only dreamt about. Gerard wanted to wrap himself in Frank’s arms, to feel Frank’s breath gliding across his cheek, but now that had to remain a fantasy. Why?
The reason waved to him from a distance. Lyn-z smiled, shouting his name. Before she reached them, Frank smiled at Gerard. “I hope you heard me because I’m not about to repeat something that cheesy ever again.”
Gerard nodded solemnly as Lyn-z met the two and kissed Gerard. Frank’s expression darkened and Gerard stared. Lyn-z must have noticed this because she turned to Gerard and asked him what was wrong.
Gerard said nothing. The air was still as Frank and Gerard stared at each other, and Lyn-z stared at Gerard. Then Lyn-z pulled on Gerard’s arm. “Come on,” she tugged him. “You two can talk later. I don’t have much free time today.”
Of course this was a lie. Lyn-z just hated letting Gerard spend time with Frank. She was afraid that those kisses on stage would blossom into something else, and in many ways she had a right to be worried. If it were up to Gerard he would be kissing Frank and holding his hand instead of Lyn-z’s.
Gerard turned his head back after Lyn-z pulled him, but Frank had already walked away in the opposite direction, hands in pockets.
Frank hated the feeling that Gerard gave him but he hated Lyn-z for taking that feeling away even more. Every time she saw the two talking she forced Gerard to leave with her. Every day Frank missed Gerard and every day Lyn-z took him away.
Frank had already cut himself over it, but he never let anyone know. He flopped down onto his bed and sighed, letting his wrists face the ceiling. He could feel the cold air caressing the scar on his wrist and for a moment wished he could show Gerard how much he meant to him, but instead he folded his arms across his chest and looked upward. He saw the words he had written on the ceiling in Sharpie.
“We never got that far. This helps me think all through the night. Bright lights that won’t kill me now or tell me how just you and I your starless eyes remain.”
Every time Frank found himself depressed or angry, he would stand up on his bed and write the first lyrics that popped into his head. He had dreamt about Gerard and the day that Frank finally decided to tell him that he liked him, Gerard had nothing to say. He only stared, and Frank had no idea what to get from that.
Frank began to whisper to himself while looking at the lyrics. “I love you, Gerard. When I come onto you on stage, it’s not just a joke. It’s not just hormones. I’m glad it looks that way to some people, but I wish you’d see that I really do care about you. I even told you but you just blew it off. Sometimes I wish you’d look at me longer, but you always turn to Lyn-z.”
For some reason, Frank found himself angry. Lyn-z, Lyn-z, everything was about Lyn-z to Gerard. He never even bothered to stand up to her and stay to talk with Frank. Frank stood up and threw the papers that had sat in peace off his desk. He found himself wanting to cut himself again, but he didn’t want to see the blood right now. It reminded him too much of Gerard.
Gerard, the one who had stolen his heart. Gerard, the one with the magical voice and the perfect body. The sweet lips that on stage brushed against his, even if it was only a joke-to release the horomones. Even if it was to please the crowd. To Frank, it was much more. So much more.
Frank remembered grabbing his razor and jabbing it into his wrist. The blood followed, pouring out. Frank saw it and cringed, realizing what he had done. He didn’t suspect it would be too hard to cover. The only problem was the muscles there.
After removing the razor he put his arm in guitar position and air-strummed. His muscles had ached and contracted, bringing tears to his eyes. Out of anger he had ruined his guitar playing. He couldn’t go to a doctor because Gerard would find out and if Gerard knew, Frank wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He wasn’t about to let anyone know. He played through all the pain just so Gerard wouldn’t notice.
He wrapped up his arm in a shirt and lay back down. Then he unwrapped it and let the blood flow out, staining the sheets. Frank let out a small yelp, but reapplied pressure. After about four minutes he started feeling dizzy and let himself drift off.
In his dream, Gerard kissed him. They lay in bed without clothes on, bodies next to each other, warmth spread across their entire mass. Then Gerard whispered into his ear and nibbled on in. Frank swatted him away even though he liked it. That’s when Frank knew he had to tell Gerard he loved him.
Everything had gone wrong. The words were spinning inside Frank’s head and he didn’t know what to do. The lyrics on his ceiling began to morph together and all Frank could see were scribbles. The scribbles that represented his life. A tangled mess, one loop colliding into the next, the one loop that was left farther away from the rest, the two that were close to each other but that one stupid loop stood in between them. All of them reminded Frank of some aspect in his life.
Frank heard his phone ringing but he refused to pick up.
“Come on, Frank!” Gerard mumbled into his phone. He had finally gotten away from Lyn-z and he really wanted to talk to Frank. Everything he thought was right and wrong was mixing together in his head. He didn’t know if Frank was being serious or was just speaking upon a dare or trying to see what Gerard’s reaction would be.
Gerard heard Frank’s voice on the other side and immediately started talking, but then the message just continued. “...Please leave a message after the tone if you think I’ll give a shit!” Frank’s voice echoed, playfully. Gerard missed Frank’s happy voice. Recently, he always sounded sad.
“Why won’t you just pick up?” Gerard redialed. After two rings, Frank’s drowsy voice picked up.
“Hello?” he mumbled, voice hoarse.
Gerard felt pain. Frank sounded nothing but hurt, and Gerard had seen his face darken. If Gerard was correct, Frank wanted Gerard to leave Lyn-z, but Gerard knew it wasn’t that easy. “Hey, Frank. What’s up?”
Frank was silent for a moment. “I’m fine,” he said.
The conversation was going no where as well as becoming awkward on both ends of the line. Gerard wanted to be next to Frank, but he didn’t know if Frank wanted him there right now.
“Do you want to hang out?”
“Sure,” Frank said softly, as if ready to take it back.
Gerard told him he’d be there soon and began his trip over. The whole way over he fantasized about Frank and almost crashed multiple times.
“Frank, I’m sorry I let Lyn-z take me away,” Gerard yelled as Frank pulled open the door. Frank stared at him bewildered, but smiled. “The truth is, I really wanted to stay there with you! What you said to me,” he paused and looked Frank directly in the eyes. “It was the same way I feel about you.”
Frank’s eyes widened suddenly. “Why are you with Lyn-z then?”
“I thought you could care less. I thought that we were just playing around when we kissed. I didn’t know you felt the same way I did.”
“Why did you give up hope? I was always-”
Gerard brought his body to Franks and kissed him, silently shutting the door behind him. “Don’t worry about that now. I’ll take care of everything. I love you, Frank.”
Frank for a moment really didn’t think about anything else. He put one of his hands in Gerard’s hair and the other on his back. Their lips were pressed against each other’s, and their tongues were exploring the mouth of the other. They made their way to the couch and Gerard pushed Frank back onto it.
Gerard’s hand explored Frank’s pants and Frank moaned. Their lips remained touching, their faces beginning to heat up. The smell of Frank’s sweat floated into Gerard’s nostrils and he sighed happily.
Their shirts came off, and eventually they lay in silence, one on top of the other, completely naked. Gerard rested his head on Frank’s chest and sighed. “I love you, Frank. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
“I didn’t think that what you said was cheesy,” Gerard smiled.
Frank looked at Gerard with questioning eyes.
“When you said ‘When I met you I learned that gender doesn’t matter anymore,’ it made my day-maybe even my life. It wasn’t cheesy at all.”
“Thanks, Gerard, but that was the cheesiest shit I’ve ever heard come out of my own mouth, so I wouldn’t believe that you didn’t find it cheesy. Maybe cheesy shit turns you on.”
Gerard kissed Frank again before they turned out the lights. “Maybe it does, Frank. Maybe it does.”
The two rolled around on the couch before walking to Frank’s bed and they stayed there all night. The next morning, Gerard called Lyn-z and held the phone up to Frank who whispered seductively into it, “He’s gay, sweetheart!” and the two laughed. Lyn-z was completely silent on the other side of the line until she hung up.
“What would I have done without you, Frank?”
“I don’t know. Been straight, maybe?”
Gerard exhaled and leaned on Frank’s chest, smiling up at him. “When I first met you, I learned that gender doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Nothing matters anymore. We’re together, and that’s all.”