There was no laceration, not even a little blood.
My body jolted into consciousness, my hands immediately going to my shoulder where the double had stabbed me. There was no laceration, not even a little blood. I sighed in relief that i was not mortally wounded, i had spent enough time in the I.C.U thank you very much.
I took in my surrounding. I was no longer sprawled out on the couch, as i had been not 4 hours ago. I was lying with my back to the floor, gasping for breath. My skin drenched in ice cold sweat,and my crimson locks clinging to my face. How i got in the kitchen, i will never know. These dreams or whatever the fuck they were, had left me confused to the point of doubting my own sanity. And they were back.
But this time i wasn't even sure if they were dreams. Was this doppleganger, shell of the person i am today, real? Or a product of my overtired possibly insane mind?
I let my eyes regain focus before shakily standing up. It was almost pitch black, but i had come down to the kitchen for a midnight coffee enough times to know my way around. My breathing still hadn't evened out but i was making an effort to stay quiet. Of course i was going to tell someone, Lyn-z or one of the guys, i promised them i would. But that didn't mean i had to wake them up at (looks at clock) 2:48 in the morning.
I decided on going back to the couch. I really didn't want to worry Lyn-z with this right now so that meant not waking her (or Bee). I was still in some sort of shock from what happened, and had to resort to gripping onto the kitchen table for support. As i awkwardly hobbled to the moonlit living room, i felt a feeling of dread rise in my gut. A awful sense of foreboding, like there's someone in the room other than yourself, watching you. This was a feeling that i used to get back in the old days of non stop drinking and when i was plagued by panic attacks. I knew what was going to happen before it did.
Within seconds i was on my knee's retching into the toilet of the downstairs bathroom. Hot tears cascaded down my flushed cheeks. After eating next to nothing for so long, emptying my stomach like this was painful. My hand clutched the side of the sink, as i gave myself a moment to inhale and remember how to actually breath. I just hoped i was being quiet enough.
Obviously not. I heard the door creak open and someone crouch down beside me rubbing my back, as i spilled the contents of my stomach for what seemed like the thousandths time.
''Shhh, Gee calm down'' I identified the voice as Frankie's. God knows where he slept, Mikey and Ali had the guest room and i had been on the couch for the majority of the night.
After a few more minutes like this, me puking and him comforting me, i slumped on the bathroom floor in a daze not even bothering to flush. I was dizzy and still felt nauseous, and no matter how hard i tried to hide it, i was still totally petrified of falling asleep again. I think Frank sensed that this had something to do with a nightmare of some kind. He pulled me onto his lap, and stroked some of the hair out of my face.
'' You wanna talk now or in the morning? ''
''N-Now i guess'' i couldn't fall asleep without some kind of rationality for it all.
Without a word he helped me into the sitting position and guided me to the living room. I felt like a lost puppy as he sat next to me, his eyes boring into my hazel ones. Frank may seem crazy and hyperactive every fucking moment of every fucking day, but when a friend needs him the most, he can he one of the most down to earth, rational guys i know. He nodded at me to begin.
I told him everything... From falling into a fitful sleep, to being stabbed by myself.
When i was finished he stared at me in disbelief. Why did i have to tell him? Surely Mikey or Lyn-z would understand better? I looked down at my lap, wringing my hands nervously.
''You must think i'm crazy'' i sighed, not looking up. Silence. Yep i was going to the nut house for sure.
All of a sudden he threw his arms around my neck. Wait, what?
''Gee, your not going insane. I already thought you were a little 'weird' but it was all just a dream, your fine, your okay'' He sounded like he was trying to assure himself more than me.
''You think so?'' I questioned hopefully.
''Yeah Gerard, don't worry about it. I can go down to the pharmacy tomorrow and get some pills to help you sleep better. I'll tell Lyns and Mikey too, y'know i'm sure don't want to repeat it again''
He smiled at me lovingly. Wow, he cared about me so much. I couldn't help but feel like a burden.
''Thanks Frankie'' I yawned, laying back onto the couch.
''No problem man, just go back to sleep and tell me if it happens again'' His expression grew serious.
''Of course i will Frank....you know i will'' I had a smile on my face as i drifted into sleep.
Gah, i know that was shit, but it was just a filler really to show Gerard's feelings after his encounter. R&R !