WHAT?! He… he lives… THERE?! FUCK!
I stomped inside just not caring anymore. Its not like I had to walk to school with him every morning and walk back home like after school buddies. Why should I piss myself over this? Lets make the most of it I guess.
I was absolutely starving. I never ate in school. The thought of the food from the cafeteria freaked me out. I liked my food untouched. So, I grabbed a pack of my favourite strawberry pop tarts and took the stairs two at a time to my room.
I still hadn’t completely finished unpacking because we painted my room last week, it was a sort of sickly baby blue. My mom wouldn’t let me paint it any darker. I guess it didn’t matter because these walls were soon to be covered by my many posters. I had already made my door a living sticker collection.
Inside it was like Narnia. Except instead of everything covered in snow and trees it was covered in clothes and boxes. I guess I should start getting to work. I tuned my Ipod to shuffle and got to it.
I was FINALLY done unpacking. Five hours later and everything was finally in order. I just decided to relax on my bed and get some much needed rest. Sadly, my peace was interrupted by my little brother Mikey.
“Gee?” he knocked “You awake? Mom says dinner.”
“Okay Mikes. Can you just tell her Im going to bed, Im not hungry.”
Next all I heard was the soft padding of his feet down the steps. I rolled over on my bed and faced my window. Rain was lighting hitting against the double glaze. I closed my eyes and concentrated on this in hope to fall asleep. And so I did…
I threw myself on top my bed and just closed my eyes. This kid was seriously pissing me off. I don’t know what exactly it is he did this time, but its pissing me off. How does he worm his way into my life without him even knowing it?!
I relaxed my thought onto a different subject as I tuned my radio to whatever station it could manage to blast out. I settled for the stupid country song station (not my taste Im more of a rock fan) and thought about who I was going to ask to prom!
Our prom was in two short months. Who was I going to ask?! I cant ask just anybody. I defiantly had to ask someone I liked, but someone I could be seen with.
I spent hours writing down names. Brittany, Tessy, Michelle… No, somehow none of them seemed suitable. My thoughts stumbled to what it would be like if I went with Gerard. I thought about how blissful it would be. I don’t know how, but it would be a little piece of heaven.
WAIT! STOP! What am I thinking! Im not…. gay? No, I definitely liked girls. Boobs, ass and all that stuff. I liked it.
I admit that I panicked and was happy to be interrupted by my father shouting me down for dinner. I ate in silence. I was petrified by the thought I had. I cleaned the dishes and then walked slowly back to my room.
This couldn’t be the reason why I wanted him? It just couldn’t. This wasn’t me at all.
I decided to just practice my guitar and take my mind off of everything except perfecting this song. I jammed to Misfits until it was note perfect.
My eyes felt heavy and I passed out the minute my head hit the pillow. My dreams were so fucked up. I don’t even want to repeat them.