FicWad

‘You’re a smart kid, Frankie.’

That’s the first thing he said all afternoon, his cool but stern voice cutting through the atmosphere like a knife. I flinched a little at the words and shook my head at his back, wrapping my arms round my stomach. I wasn’t smart at all. Why on earth I thought making Gerard jealous and damn well using my girlfriend of two days to do so would be a good idea, I still don’t know. It was fucking stupid, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I had done nothing but make Jay feel uncomfortable, piss Gerard off to no end and get myself in even more shit than I already was. Who knows what he would do to me now. The man hadn’t said a word since ‘see me after class,’ he just sat at his desk, looking through an old comic. I could tell he wasn’t really reading it, just as I wasn’t really paying attention to my own work, Jamia looking at me every few seconds to double check I was okay. The poor thing, she was so sweet, I could tell she was genuinely worried for me. The way she touched my hand said it all, her slender fingers ever so softly curling round the back of my palm and stroking softly, her eyes big and sparkling and full of concern. I barely felt it though, and didn’t even look up after a while, too tired of murmuring the same ‘don’t worry Jay,’ over and over, my soft smile now dropped as I drifted into my own world of thought. Her touch didn’t do anything for me, and I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to deny those niggling feelings that ‘it never had done.’ She was perfect; everyone else could see it so why couldn’t I? I was insane to push her away, to remain unaffected by her hugs, her kisses, her soft words in my ear. She cared for me, and don’t get me wrong, I cared for her too, just... Just not in the same way. I loved her like a friend, like a sister, I wanted to stick by her through thick and thin and be there like I always had been. But when she kissed me, or told me how gorgeous I looked or played with my hair, my stomach would twist in an uncomfortable way and I would blush, falling quiet again. I would mumble a soft ‘thanks’ and peck her cheek, offering a small smile or make an excuse that I was just tired or had a headache or something to explain my nonchalant attitude.

Unless Gerard was there. Then I would play along like nothing happened and meet her in a soft kiss, making sure he noticed the moment our lips touched. I wanted her then, I wanted her to kiss me and hold my hand and be my girlfriend when he was around, and only then. I couldn’t lie to myself any longer; I was dating her because I missed him. I’ve said it before, I was using Jamia, and I was a stupid idiot for doing so. She was a great friend, and I could tell that she really liked me, but none of it stopped me from being an absolute ass hole and completely screwing up everything we had. Not that she knew it yet. She didn’t know anything, she still trusted me, and that just pushed the knife in deeper. Jay didn’t know why I’d been so miserable recently, she didn’t know about my relationship with Gerard, and she certainly didn’t know why I was staying late after college. In fact, she would probably be waiting outside the grey building now, legs crossed and hugging her navy shoulder bag, worry coursing through her veins like it was through mine with every second longer I stayed in there. I knew I was going to be a while, I’d tried telling her not to worry, that I’d call her when I’d come out so we could still have our date but she was determined to stay, and soon I just didn’t care about that either. All that mattered was the man in the art room, and what was going to happen between us. I had stopped feeling guilty about Jamia a while ago, and continued looking at Gerard’s back nervously, watching his shoulders gently rise and fall as he sighed. I wanted to say something, to ask him what was going on, to... to apologise, but knew it was too late for words. The man was pissed off, and I could tell that his temper was just rising the longer we stayed silent. It was awkward and uncomfortable, so I coughed nervously into my hand, stepping back a little and watching his fists unclenching as he turned around.

‘Something to say?’ He asked, his eyes burning into mine as he glared at me. The rest of Gerard’s expression was neutral, and anyone else would have passed it off as just a normal question. But I knew Gerard, and I knew that gaze was something far away from any realm of ‘normal,’ his words only adding to the unnerving atmosphere. I shook my head visibly and bit my lip, pushing my hands in the warm pockets of my jeans, before taking them out and laying them round my back. I fidgeted for a moment and leaned my weight from one foot to the other, eventually settling on folding my arms and bowing my head. ‘Aw Frankie, don’t look so miserable, I mean, you must be feeling pretty pleased with yourself aren’t you?’ Gerard’s voice was sickly sweet, and I winced, shaking my head again. I wasn’t pleased with myself at all. I thought I would be, I thought this was a perfect chance for revenge, but when it all boiled down, I was feeling lower than ever. I couldn’t deny my attraction toward the man, and dating Jamia became a constant reminder that I damn well missed him. Part of me thought that I should never had tried to stop him in the first place, that being miserable every night was just worth it to see him and be with him every day. If I’d just carried on and let him have his way, if I’d just let myself enjoy it then I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t be dating and about to lose one of my best friends, I wouldn’t have angered Gerard like I had done if I’d just kept my mouth shut. ‘You’re not?’ Gerard asked, walking closer to me. ‘Why’s that? You really got one over on me, trying to teach me another sin. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Catching me off guard? I must tell you Frank, the whole girlfriend thing really was some clever thinking, I could tell you’d really planned that out.’ He was mocking me, and with every snide remark, he took another step closer, his glare getting stronger. I didn’t want to be here, my cheeks erupted in a pink blush at his words, and I tried to bow my head even more, awkwardly curling into myself to try and escape. ‘Mmm? Frankie, it’s rude not to answer your teachers,’ Gerard snarled. He was close now, only a few feet away from me, his hands on his hips. I wanted to say something back to him, at least apologise, but was quickly submerged into shock when I was shoved to the floor by one of his hands. ‘Answer me would you!?’ Gerard shouted the command as he knocked me over, making me gasp and look up at him.

‘What do you want me to say?’ I breathed nervously, my eyes locking with his as I saw how angry he really was. Gerard’s teeth were gritted and his fists clenched, his knuckles a pale ivory like when he first entered. His eyes were what really did it though. If looks could kill, then it really was unfathomable why I wasn’t dead yet. The hazel orbs that I’d lusted after the moment we met were narrowed and looked nearly black with how large his pupils were. I looked up at him for a moment longer, before I really couldn’t stand it and murmured a soft ‘I don’t know what to say to you,’ whilst trying to move. Let’s just say that was a bad idea, as when I edged away, an aggravated, animalistic roar erupted from his mouth and his black, scuffed converse collided harshly with the pit of my stomach. I gasped and cried out, squeezing my eyes shut and curling into a foetal position as I tried to protect my wounded organ. ‘Fuck! Oh fuck it!’ I coughed, one hand moving into a fist and I clamped my teeth hard over my bottom lip, blood seeping from the little crack I’d created. Gerard shouted again in anger, kicking me anywhere he could get to and watching as I writhed on the floor.

‘Fucking answer my question, you smug little bastard!’

‘I’m not smug! Aaagh, oh shit, I’m not! I swear!’ I spat, gripping on to the wooden counter with a trembling hand as I edged myself up into a standing position. Tears welled in my eyes from the pain and fear of how angry Gerard was, and my legs trembled as I attempted to make some use of them, failing miserably and just clinging to the wood in a half standing position. I screamed out as my abdomen throbbed sorely when Gerard pulled me up, shoving me back into the counter and smacking his palm across my cheek. ‘Gerard! Fuck!’ I breathed, coughing a little but the man just didn’t give up.

‘You are, I’ve seen the way you look at me when you’re with her! Do you think I’m fucking blind? I knew you were doing it on purpose all along!’ At that, I tried to say something in response, but his hand came soaring down again to hit me on the cheek, and I just retaliated. I don’t know what made me do it, but some sort of defence mechanism in me made my hand ball into a fist and swoop forward to crack against his cheek bone. I acted only on instinct, and was shocked at myself the moment it happened, both hands flying back to cover my mouth as a loud cry sounded from him, and Gerard stumbled backwards into the table opposite. ‘FUCK!’ He shouted, covering his eye in pain for a moment and I shook my head, reaching forward to see if he was okay. I barely got a ‘Gerard I’m-’ out before the man tore his hands away and lunged at me, rugby tackling me on to the floor. ‘You little shit! I’ll fucking have you!’ He spat, firing punches at me left, right and centre. I gasped and tried to shield myself, punching back in defence and growling. At every chance I got to breathe, I tried to edge out an apology, begging him to stop this. ‘You should have thought about the consequences Frank before you started fucking around with me, no one messes me about Iero and I mean no one.’ We rolled around on the floor of the art room together, punching and kicking like no tomorrow. Gerard drove his fist into my jaw, smirking at the satisfying ‘crack’ it made, only to fall back in agony when I kicked him hard in the crotch. I knew it was a cheap shot, but I was desperate here. My bloody nose matched his split lip, and the pair of us were both littered in large, purple bruises. I had to get out of there, and took the opportunity to scramble to the door whilst he was still down. Before my fingers could even brush against the white wood, I was dragged back by my hair and thrown down on to the floor with a ‘thud.’ ‘You know what? Your little stunt reminded me that we have two more sins still to learn about.’ Fear coursed through my veins as I dreaded what he had in mind, and I shook my head, wishing there was an easier escape. ‘I don’t give a fuck if you want to play or not, I’ll not be taking any mercy in teaching you this one.’ I knew exactly which ‘one’ he meant, and watched him uneasily, my brow furrowing a little as Gerard smirked at me. His lips were swollen and bloody; the liquid now dried a dark brown colour as it stained his neck and the top of his white t shirt. I too was a little splattered, and wiped my nose again as I tried to get my head together. There could only be one sin that fit his attitude right now, and though he was smirking, I could tell this was far from over.

I had been terrified of learning about wrath, and counted myself lucky that I stopped this before he could teach me. I had got myself back into it through my own fault though, through my own weakness to temptation, through my own weakness to Gerard. I couldn’t resist him; even now I was anticipating the sex that came with each sin, though I have to say I wouldn’t have complained if he’d waited until later. I was aching from head to toe, and so nervous at how angry he was at me. When I opened my mouth to speak, all that came out was a small whimper that sounded rather like a strangled cat, so I quickly closed it. Gerard looked down at me for a moment as I trembled on the floor, trying to protect myself as even his stare was starting to give me a headache. As he stayed quiet, watching me shudder, I bit my lip, daring to look up into his eyes as I thought of the off chance he might be kidding. Maybe he would be taking mercy after all, maybe this was the end, maybe he’d burned all his wrath off now and was at an equal loss of what to do? No way. As quickly as those thoughts entered my head, they floated straight back out again as Gerard actually laughed, and kicked me hard again. I groaned out and lay on my back, whimpering as the man dragged me to my feet by my shirt and slammed me against the wall. As he glared at me, he spat the words ‘You’re pathetic,’ and slammed a heart stopping kiss to my lips. His fingers curled even more round my shirt and pinched at my skin, making me whimper and press back into the wall to try and get away. At the feel of his lips, though, my brain went into a complete melt down. I sighed and kissed him weakly back, his lips attacking mine ferociously as his tongue pushed past them deep into my mouth. At that moment, I really couldn’t deny myself, I wanted him, and I wanted him now. I didn’t care what sin he had in store for me, how much it would hurt, any of that, it had been far far too long since we’d last kissed like this and oh man had I missed it. The guilt of leaving Jamia was completely minute, the guilt of abandoning my religion yet again died away faster than a speeding bullet because really, I just didn’t care. I had tried with Jamia, admittedly not very hard but at least I had broadened my horizons, and to be back at square one in less than an hour told me that I’d never be able to do it. I’d never be able to have a conventional relationship with a woman and get married when I knew what I was missing in the form of Gerard. When he pulled back, our lips seemed to stick a moment, before prying apart, and we were both panting softly. I could taste his blood on my lips, the metallic liquid making my stomach flip in excitement. I didn’t feel as afraid on looking at him, even though he looked just as cross as before. His eyes were boring into mine as we looked at each other, and I blushed as I saw something very different in them.

There, swimming in the honeycomb irises and dancing about the warm hues of brown was the very hint of his own pain. He was hurt, and I could tell it wasn’t because of the fight earlier. His hands were still gripping at my shoulders, and his pearly white teeth were clamped furiously over his lower lip, but I could see that deep down, the man was upset. It was extraordinary, despite how warped my relationship with Gerard was, I felt, in some twisted way that I knew him better than anyone. He had taken my innocence away from me, just snatched it away without a care in the world, but I still wanted to trust him. I felt like the pair of us had been through a lot together, I mean, I knew I certainly had, I’d opened myself up to him like I never thought I would, and he’d got me in such a place that I didn’t think I could do that for anyone else. Dating Jamia only confirmed how much I wanted and needed Gerard, and how sorely he missed me when I was gone as well. I knew the anger he was expressing was a reaction to the pain he was feeling, and hoped that my kiss showed a sign of weakness for his sake. As I looked into his eyes masking the hurt he was bearing, I bowed my head, feeling horrible. I didn’t feel at all guilty about anything else, my religion and Jamia were completely thrown out the window, and all that was left was Gerard. As much as he tried, I could see his pain, and I knew how badly I’d hurt him by rejecting him like I had. He was an arrogant guy, really full of it, and I doubt anyone would really believe me if I said he had some feelings too, but one look at his face told me everything I needed to know. He was hurting because of me, and for some reason, that really fucking sucked. I felt awful, like some sort of monster wounding an innocent child, even though I was the one most injured here. But for a moment, none of that mattered, and I just wanted to make sure he was okay. I didn’t know if it was because of my own feelings or what, but it was certainly my fault and I wanted to try and fix that.

‘Gerard, I-’

‘Turn around.’

‘What?’

‘You heard me.’ His voice was neutral and soft, but I knew he meant business, and I could feel my heart beating in anticipation as he flipped me round before I could do so myself. I was pressed firmly against the wall, my bruises aching and my face turned sideways as my cheek rested against the cold plaster. I tried to stammer out a soft mewl of his name but Gerard shoved me, obviously wanting me to be quiet. His hands gripped tightly at my shoulders as the man leaned closer, pressing his crotch hard against my ass. ‘Time for you to learn a lesson of your own,’ he growled, rocking vigorously against my jeans and snaking his hands round to tear my shirt open. I gasped as the buttons flew across the room and couldn’t help but let out a groan, shrugging off the tattered fabric and letting it drop to the floor in a crumpled heap. I hear the sound of Gerard removing his own shirt, before his lips and teeth were sinking into my back. As he rocked against me, I could feel him growing harder, the sensation making my own blood rush rapidly downwards. I tilted my head back and moaned softly, only to have it shoved forward again and pushed against the wall. Gerard growled softly and sunk his teeth down again, leaving a trail of bite marks across my shoulder blades and down the smooth, olive plane of my back. His lips sucked and massaged my skin roughly as he did so, and I could feel him working his way up to my neck. Within seconds, the man’s lips were attacking the skin, kissing and biting aggressively. He had never marked me before, and I was nervous at first to what he was doing. On instinct, I tried to push him away, but Gerard frowned and slammed forward against me, making me groan out. ‘Don’t you dare, you don’t care if she sees this and neither do I,’ he snarled. He knew me just as well as I knew him, and he was correct in saying that I didn’t care. I really didn’t, Jamia quickly became the last thing on my mind when his divine lips returned to my neck again. ‘I want her to see this,’ Gerard growled, making me blush softly and groan in anticipation. My stomach flipped and I nodded, curling my hands into fists as I pressed them against the wall. Gerard held them there tightly as he sucked and kissed at my neck, his hair brushing over my sensitive skin and making me sigh.

‘Oh... Gerard,’ I mewled, unable to keep quiet at the magical sensation. Despite how rough he was being, it was still enjoyable and I just found myself craving his touch more and more. His warm torso pressed against my back, making the bruises ache a little, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him, I wanted to forget all about Jamia and my stupid idea to make him jealous because it had fucking worked and I really didn’t like it. He was the only person who could make me feel like this so quickly and soon I too had an aching, throbbing erection that needed desperate attention. I didn’t want anyone else; I knew Jay could never have this affect on me. She could never bring out the absolute slut in me that only Gerard knew I had, she could never make me beg like I was doing. The only name that sounded right to pass my lips was his, and it really didn’t seem to stop. I heard his belt exiting the denim loops in one swift motion and gasped, biting my bruised, kiss swollen lower lip again. ‘Gerard, please...’ I groaned, the man whipping my own belt off me and holding his own in his hand by the buckle. He reached a hand round to tug off my jeans, giving me just enough time to get fully naked before I was shoved right back into the wall again. I groaned at the cold contact and sighed, going to move my hands but a soft chuckle emitted from his lips behind me. Almost instantly, a sharp ‘crack’ was heard and I screamed out in both pain and pleasure, feeling a cold strip of leather whipping my back harshly. I arched it and gripped at his other hand, tears in my eyes from how painful it felt, but was still turned on all the same. It wasn’t the first whip either. Gerard seemed to find pleasure in the sounds I was making, as he cracked the belt down again and groaned softly at my scream of his name.

‘That’s it,’ he gasped when he hit me the third time, before wrapping the belt up tight round my wrists so I was bound with them above my head. I was close to crying in pain, my back now covered with three thick, glowing red marks. ‘It better be my name you’re screaming through this or you’re in so much trouble.’ At that threat, I barely had time to comprehend the initial pain of the belts dying away, as I was forced into a whole new experience. It was awful. As quick as a flash, Gerard had slammed into me, his leaking erection pushing forward into my soft ass. I could feel myself tearing, I could feel the blood already and I screamed out, my voice hoarse as tears streamed down my face. Despite the amount of sex I’d had in the past couple of weeks, this hurt more than anything imaginable. Gerard groaned loudly as I cried, gripping my shoulders and pausing for just a second to get used to me. His lips were back on my neck, working on the deep purple mark he was leaving in place of my tattoo I’d dreamed of getting there. He was claiming me, that’s what all the girls called it when they walked around college with love bites. The thought of that made the pain subside for just a second, a small smile fixing on my lips. It felt so strange to be ‘claimed’ by the man I knew just for sex, but it made my stomach flip in excitement and my fingers lace together, and I just felt closer to him than ever. When he started moving, he really didn’t take any mercy with me. Gerard knew he was my first time, maybe he was going so fast because part of him wondered if I’d actually slept with Jamia? I bit my lip in guilt of making him think that, and pressed back into his touch, groaning loudly as with each thrust, the overwhelming pain soon became more bearable, until it had actually morphed into pleasure. His nails were scratching at my back and digging marks into the tanned skin, his lips just resting against my neck as he groaned softly. He knew the pain I was in, but I doubt he cared, in fact I was pretty sure the only thing Gerard was interested in was how tight I was and how fucking good that felt.

‘Oh Gerard, fuck, so... so good,’ I groaned after a moment, his movements made slightly easier by the blood and pre cum mingling as some form of lubricant. I tried not to think about that, and worked on tensing my muscles to give him the pleasure he needed, Gerard starting to angle his thrusts into me. My own erection was aching madly and leaking on to the wooden floor, tears stinging at my eyes with how overwhelmed I felt. Gerard praised me by gripping my erection and pumping his hand up and down the shaft, the pair of us both gasping as he hit a small bundle of nerves inside me. I screamed in pleasure and nearly came right then, arching my back and resting the back of my head on his shoulder. ‘FUCK!’ I gasped, screwing my eyes shut as my body coated itself in a hot, slick sweat, beads of it rolling down my forehead. Gerard groaned huskily into my ear, his lips hot against the skin as he kissed it roughly over and over, ‘Frankie,’ slipping past his lips as I clenched around his throbbing member. I opened one eye and gasped at how sexy he looked, clearly in as much pleasure as I was on knowing he’d found my prostate. This was the spot, he’d never hit it before, but here he’d just got it dead on and slammed continuously into it to drive me over the edge. It really didn’t take long before I was gripping at the leather restraints, my wrists coated in red, circular marks from where it had rubbed against them. Gerard continued pumping my erection in his hand, and gripped at one of my hands, lacing our fingers and biting on my ear lobe as I came with a yell. I clung to his hand and felt my knees buckling under me, staying up long enough for him to explode deep in my ass, before collapsing against his chest. Gerard’s scream of my name was laced with a pleasurable groan, and he quickly pulled out of me after riding out his orgasm, fumbling with the belt. As soon as it was loose and I could move my hands out of it, the pair of us fell sideways, over an arm of the couch and on to its squishy cushions, Gerard panting softly and holding me tightly to his chest.

‘Oh... Mmm...’ He panted, his nails still digging into my back as I clung to him, still crying softly. I ached everywhere, but it was numbed with the immense pleasure I was feeling from him, and I bit my lip, softly apologising over and over into his chest. Gentle ‘sorry’s slipped past my lips as I just slumped in the man’s arms, my eyes closing as I struggled to keep awake for very long. I sighed and reached a hand up, weakly touching his warm cheek and opening my eyes again slowly. He was looking at me, his gaze a lot softer than before, and he touched my bruised jaw softly, before putting a finger gently to my lips. ‘Shh... You’re mine now Frankie, you’re forgiven.’ At those words, he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead and sighed. ‘Mine for a few more days at least,’ he sighed, closing his own eyes and stroking his warm, artist’s fingers up my back. I furrowed my brow and looked at him, shaking my head as I stroked his cheek gently. What did he mean?

‘Huh? No, Gerard I’m not gonna go back to her, I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, I know that now. When I next see Jay I’ll-’

‘That’s not what I meant, Frankie,’ he whispered softly, his voice laced with sadness. ‘Wrath was your sixth sin, which just leaves greed to finish off our little lessons. After that, well, you’re free to go.’ His gaze had resumed its objectivity once more as he saw my own expression fall dramatically. A soft ‘oh’ escaped my lips, and I bowed my head, only to have it tilted up again. Though I could see he was sad himself, he became confused as to why I was upset, which was understandable. So was I. I mean, this was my ticket out of here, my chance to leave a free man and forget it all.

I suppose, being honest, I didn’t want to forget. As much as I hated to admit it, Gerard had swiftly became a large part of my life, and it really shook me today how awful I felt when I saw how hurt he was. It had shown me how much I need him, how much I care about him, how, now I had the chance to go, I just didn’t want to. Nothing mattered anymore when the thought of him leaving came into the question. Not my friends, not Jamia, not even God was important. Everything else came to a standstill when I considered losing Gerard. He had become more to me than I’d ever really imagined, and I soon found myself unable to face the idea of having to go back to confession to repent my sins I wasn’t even sorry for anymore. I didn’t want to be miserable, I didn’t want to hide who I truly was, and Gerard could sense my distress, so hushed me sleepily, before closing his eyes. I was caught in a dilemma between what was expected of me, and what I wanted to be, and as I fell asleep with the man, I started to wonder if, just for once, I should listen to my heart.

A/N: Whew! These chapters certainly take a while, I think I spent about five solid hours on this little baby, I really hope it’s paid off. As you guys can see, we’re getting near the end of our story, it’s been a lot of fun writing this and I really hope to do more, I really hope you guys have all enjoyed reading it too, thanks a lot for being fantastic people and welcoming my first fic with open arms :D Or... open keyboards at least! Immy xo.