Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Stockholm Syndrome
“How does that feel?” Gerard panted, supporting his weight above Paulina by leaning on his forearms. He was thrusting slowly in and out, making the girl below him sigh with frustration; she preferred he go quickly and just get it over with.
“You know I don’t feel anything,” Paulina snapped. She tried looking around to pass the time, but her room was dark. Another week had passed, and she still refused to speak to Frank. Her silent treatment seemed to be grating on his nerves to no end, which was her intent. Every time he spoke to her, she just looked the other way. She flinched away from his touch and ignored it when he called her name. “You know you’ve made me numb to intimacy, Gerard. I don’t know why you insist you haven’t.”
“Whatever,” he grunted. His hand found her throat, palm pressing into her windpipe, collapsing it. She tossed her head, but he was measurably stronger than she, and wouldn’t be shaken. He squeezed harder the more she resisted. The lack of oxygen was getting to Paulina’s mind, clouding her thoughts. She blinked, but colorful lights seemed to be popping in and out of her vision. She tried to draw one more breath, failed, and was plunged into blackness.
When she finally came to, Gerard was lying next to her in bed, one arm around her shoulders, his chest beneath her head.
“I hate it when you do that,” she said groggily. Her head was pounding, and she groaned, feeling gross below her waist. Gerard simply shrugged absently, one finger brushing up and down her upper-arm. “I can’t help but wonder what’s on your mind,” Paulina said pointedly.
“I…I had a dream…about you…” he murmured, continuing to mindlessly stroke her arm.
“Go on.”
“Well…I--I was walking, in the house, and…I called your name, and somehow, I knew you were in the kitchen. I went in and you were standing by the table, and you had one hand behind your back. You greeted me when I walked in. I was wearing all white, all white everything, but no shoes. Just socks. I told you that I’d been thinking about you all day. You looked so…small. Little. Tiny. When I tried to kiss you, you pulled away and told me to stop, but I just laughed and kissed you anyway. With the hand that wasn’t behind your back, you started scratching my arms, but it didn’t hurt. I hardly felt it. I laughed again, and I told you that I liked it when you tried to hurt me. Then…right after I said that, you--you pulled a knife out from behind your back and stabbed me. Right here,” he said, motioning with his free hand to his abdomen. “Right in the gut. And it hurt. It hurt more than anything. But not like a physical kind of pain. Not like a paper cut…It was more like…like you hurt my feelings, or something. Not--not exactly…Like…I don’t know. Almost like fear, I guess. Like losing control. You kept stabbing me, over and over, even when I’d fallen to the floor. You said…you said that you thought I liked it when you hurt me…And I just kept thinking, ‘My God…I’ve lost control of her. I don’t have her anymore. She has me. It’s over.’ And then…I don’t remember anything after that. Then I just stopped dreaming. And then I woke up. It was…” He shivered then, tightening his grip around Paulina. “It was unsettling.”
Paulina gaped. How was this possible? How had Gerard been having the same dreams as herself? She’d heard of things like this happening, but not like this. His dream was almost exactly the same as hers, except, instead of experiencing satisfaction, Gerard felt fear. He was afraid of not having that control over her. It had unsettled him. He was a control freak. That must have been a nightmare for him.
“So…You thought you’d come over here to remind yourself that you dominate me, and you always will, and there’s nothing I can really do about it,” Paulina mused, trying to inch away from Gerard’s embrace, something that he was not having.
“Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “In fact, that’s exactly it. It’s too bad you were unconscious at the end, because it was great. Power is quite a high.” He chuckled, back to his old self.
“I’m sure it was infinitely better for you than it will ever be for me.” Paulina made a show of turning over to face him, which consisted of her managing away from his embrace and onto her own pillow. Better.
“Oh, come on, honey. I know you must feel something.”
“Don’t call me ‘honey,’” Paulina told him, a pang in her stomach. Frank called her “honey.” Nobody else. “And no, I really don’t. And I wish you’d leave.” She turned her back to him, lying on her side.
“So you can dream about Frank, and how poor Paulina doesn’t get everything she wants?” Gerard mocked. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, stretching and yawning. Rubbing the side of his face, he smirked at Paulina. “You know, baby, it’s not working.” Paulina looked at him blankly. “This plan of yours, not talking to Frank. It’s not working.”
“Of course it is! It’s on his nerves six ways to Sunday!”
“Well, it’s working if you want him to hate you.”
“He doesn’t hate me. He hates that I’m ignoring him. He loves me.”
Gerard laughed and rumpled Paulina’s hair roughly, making her squirm away. “He wants to fuck you, Paulina. That’s all it is.”
“You…are…wrong!” Paulina spat angrily. Why did he have to tell her these lies? He was lying, of course. He had to be.
“Am I? Am I, really? Think, Paulina. If he really ‘loved’ you, would he still be trying to talk to you? No, he’d let you go, do what’s best for you, and all that crap. He wants to get in your pants. So far, he hasn’t gotten you yet, and it’s bothering him. Face it, baby, he feels the same way about you as I do, I’m just willing to go for it.” He smirked at the look on her face and walked out, leaving the door wide open behind himself.
Paulina just gaped. She didn’t want to believe what Gerard said, but…it was hard not to when he seemed so right.
Half-filler, half just uneventful. You can probably tell I'm not too satisfied with this chapter. I had this great idea, and then I never wrote it down, so I lost it, and now I feel like I'm at a loss. I don't know. It's just hard, trying to pull this story to an end and all. I dunno. Just go comment and subscribe, and I'll start writing the next chapter, which, hopefully, will be better. OverAndOutxx
“You know I don’t feel anything,” Paulina snapped. She tried looking around to pass the time, but her room was dark. Another week had passed, and she still refused to speak to Frank. Her silent treatment seemed to be grating on his nerves to no end, which was her intent. Every time he spoke to her, she just looked the other way. She flinched away from his touch and ignored it when he called her name. “You know you’ve made me numb to intimacy, Gerard. I don’t know why you insist you haven’t.”
“Whatever,” he grunted. His hand found her throat, palm pressing into her windpipe, collapsing it. She tossed her head, but he was measurably stronger than she, and wouldn’t be shaken. He squeezed harder the more she resisted. The lack of oxygen was getting to Paulina’s mind, clouding her thoughts. She blinked, but colorful lights seemed to be popping in and out of her vision. She tried to draw one more breath, failed, and was plunged into blackness.
When she finally came to, Gerard was lying next to her in bed, one arm around her shoulders, his chest beneath her head.
“I hate it when you do that,” she said groggily. Her head was pounding, and she groaned, feeling gross below her waist. Gerard simply shrugged absently, one finger brushing up and down her upper-arm. “I can’t help but wonder what’s on your mind,” Paulina said pointedly.
“I…I had a dream…about you…” he murmured, continuing to mindlessly stroke her arm.
“Go on.”
“Well…I--I was walking, in the house, and…I called your name, and somehow, I knew you were in the kitchen. I went in and you were standing by the table, and you had one hand behind your back. You greeted me when I walked in. I was wearing all white, all white everything, but no shoes. Just socks. I told you that I’d been thinking about you all day. You looked so…small. Little. Tiny. When I tried to kiss you, you pulled away and told me to stop, but I just laughed and kissed you anyway. With the hand that wasn’t behind your back, you started scratching my arms, but it didn’t hurt. I hardly felt it. I laughed again, and I told you that I liked it when you tried to hurt me. Then…right after I said that, you--you pulled a knife out from behind your back and stabbed me. Right here,” he said, motioning with his free hand to his abdomen. “Right in the gut. And it hurt. It hurt more than anything. But not like a physical kind of pain. Not like a paper cut…It was more like…like you hurt my feelings, or something. Not--not exactly…Like…I don’t know. Almost like fear, I guess. Like losing control. You kept stabbing me, over and over, even when I’d fallen to the floor. You said…you said that you thought I liked it when you hurt me…And I just kept thinking, ‘My God…I’ve lost control of her. I don’t have her anymore. She has me. It’s over.’ And then…I don’t remember anything after that. Then I just stopped dreaming. And then I woke up. It was…” He shivered then, tightening his grip around Paulina. “It was unsettling.”
Paulina gaped. How was this possible? How had Gerard been having the same dreams as herself? She’d heard of things like this happening, but not like this. His dream was almost exactly the same as hers, except, instead of experiencing satisfaction, Gerard felt fear. He was afraid of not having that control over her. It had unsettled him. He was a control freak. That must have been a nightmare for him.
“So…You thought you’d come over here to remind yourself that you dominate me, and you always will, and there’s nothing I can really do about it,” Paulina mused, trying to inch away from Gerard’s embrace, something that he was not having.
“Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “In fact, that’s exactly it. It’s too bad you were unconscious at the end, because it was great. Power is quite a high.” He chuckled, back to his old self.
“I’m sure it was infinitely better for you than it will ever be for me.” Paulina made a show of turning over to face him, which consisted of her managing away from his embrace and onto her own pillow. Better.
“Oh, come on, honey. I know you must feel something.”
“Don’t call me ‘honey,’” Paulina told him, a pang in her stomach. Frank called her “honey.” Nobody else. “And no, I really don’t. And I wish you’d leave.” She turned her back to him, lying on her side.
“So you can dream about Frank, and how poor Paulina doesn’t get everything she wants?” Gerard mocked. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, stretching and yawning. Rubbing the side of his face, he smirked at Paulina. “You know, baby, it’s not working.” Paulina looked at him blankly. “This plan of yours, not talking to Frank. It’s not working.”
“Of course it is! It’s on his nerves six ways to Sunday!”
“Well, it’s working if you want him to hate you.”
“He doesn’t hate me. He hates that I’m ignoring him. He loves me.”
Gerard laughed and rumpled Paulina’s hair roughly, making her squirm away. “He wants to fuck you, Paulina. That’s all it is.”
“You…are…wrong!” Paulina spat angrily. Why did he have to tell her these lies? He was lying, of course. He had to be.
“Am I? Am I, really? Think, Paulina. If he really ‘loved’ you, would he still be trying to talk to you? No, he’d let you go, do what’s best for you, and all that crap. He wants to get in your pants. So far, he hasn’t gotten you yet, and it’s bothering him. Face it, baby, he feels the same way about you as I do, I’m just willing to go for it.” He smirked at the look on her face and walked out, leaving the door wide open behind himself.
Paulina just gaped. She didn’t want to believe what Gerard said, but…it was hard not to when he seemed so right.
Half-filler, half just uneventful. You can probably tell I'm not too satisfied with this chapter. I had this great idea, and then I never wrote it down, so I lost it, and now I feel like I'm at a loss. I don't know. It's just hard, trying to pull this story to an end and all. I dunno. Just go comment and subscribe, and I'll start writing the next chapter, which, hopefully, will be better. OverAndOutxx
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