The title really says it all.
Harry Has a Hissy
Harry assessed the situation quickly, unsure of what to do. Two unknown wizards stood in front of his only exit from this cursed forest, preventing him from getting some much needed rest and relaxation. To make matters worse, he didn't know whether the wizards in question were Death Eaters, or Ministry officials, or even just regular civilians.
Then again… Harry looked down at himself, acutely aware of his attire. Whether the enemy was good guy or bad guy, his current appearance was highly unlikely to inspire rational thought. He knew that if he had been approached by someone wearing the outfit of the quintessential fairy-tale villain, he'd probably run screaming or attempt to hex it to bits. Therefore, he didn't need to plan for a situation in which violence was not involved.
"Master, if I may." Harry was interrupted by Gnarl's raspy voice. "With those two peons distracted, it would be very easy to have your Red Minions rain fiery death upon them from above. They do so love a good barbeque."
Harry was appalled at Gnarl's statement. "That's nauseating, Gnarl! These aren't some evil Acromantulas, or a bunch of Gnomes that were trying to kill me. These are a couple of flesh and blood people, who haven't even done anything yet."
"And what if they turn out to be some of the servant of that Lord Voldie-thingy that's so obsessed with destroying you, mm? I doubt they would be so lenient in trying to apprehend you."
"But we don't know yet, you gray old sack of flesh." The Minions cackled as Gnarl grumbled quietly about the good old days when Overlords listened to his advice without being uppity. Harry, meanwhile, continued to assess the situation, trying to figure out a way to quietly and quickly incapacitate the two figures that were now attempting to cast spells on the portal to the Netherworld. It was then that Harry noticed the two smaller rocks next to the large portal. "Minion Gates," Harry muttered. "Gnarl, I have a plan."
"By all means, Master."
"I'm going to summon a few Brown Minions from the Minion Gate to catch them by surprise. However, I want you to give them orders not to attack the wizards, but just keep them distracted so that I can sneak up from behind them and knock them unconscious. With any luck, they'll think they imagined it all."
"As you wish, Master." Harry nodded curtly, mostly to himself, before he snuck forward, hiding himself behind a tree. The two wizards, meanwhile, were now scratching their heads in confusion as they continued to be stumped by the black rock in front of them. Harry's face scrunched inside his helmet in concentration, and the gauntlet began to glow softly.
The wizards scrambled backwards as the portals in front of them suddenly burst out of the ground, regaining their full size. Another twitch of his arm, and a group of Brown Minions burst from their respective gate. The two wizards leveled their shaking wands toward the group of Minions, but didn't cast any spells. Likewise, the Minions stood in a line with their various weapons slightly raised, but otherwise still. A standoff had commenced. "Perfect," thought Harry. He slid out from behind his tree, padding his way down to where the wizards stood.
"Wh… What are you?" one of the wizards asked the group of Minions. The one out in front cackled merrily, motioning the two to come closer, as Harry crept closer by the second. Before they could do so, Harry grabbed their heads, smashing them together cartoon-style.
The Minions cheered as Harry let out a genuine laugh despite himself. "I've always wanted to do that since I saw it in one of Dudley's cartoons. Looks like it worked perfectly."
Harry mentally called to the Red Minions that were over the hill to bring the Hive and Spell Stone. They disappeared in a white haze as they were transported to the Netherworld."Well done, Master. I must admit, I had my doubts at first, but it seems like you're going to shape up to be a fine Overlord."
Harry frowned slightly, worried by the fact that Gnarl's statement didn't bug him as much as it had earlier, when a Minion suddenly gasped and shouted "Master!" while pointing behind him. The other Minions began jabbering incessantly as Harry turned just in time to see that one of the wizards had regained consciousness and stood back up. Harry took a threatening step toward the man, hoping to scare him off, but inadvertently tripped over a root in the process. His sword flew out of his grasp, leaving him defenseless as the man began his incantation. Harry threw his arm in front of his face, hoping beyond reason that the metal armor would protect him from the spell.
"Expul…!" Without warning the man's voice was silenced. Harry scrambled to retrieve his sword, turning swiftly to face his attacker. By the time he made it around, however, he noticed that the man was lying on the ground again. Harry sighed in relief, thinking the man was unconscious.
Then he noticed the expanding pool of blood, along with the wizard's cracked skull.
Harry tossed his sword to the side again, rushing to the fallen man's side, shoving aside a Minion in the process. Blood was gushing out of a hole in his head, and even before Harry looked for his nonexistent pulse, he knew it was too late. He rustled through the man's pockets in a hopeless effort to find some sort of potion or anything that could help revive the man, throwing out a spare wand, a Ministry employee badge and a sack of Galleons, which the Minions gleefully took, before he accepted that the man was beyond help.
Harry felt sorrow and rage build up inside of him as he stood slowly. He could hear Gnarl speaking to him, but he paid no attention to his ramblings. His Minions cowered in fear from the anger that they could feel rolling off his body as he walked over to the Netherworld Portal and stood in the middle. He hardly even felt the rush of power as he was being transported back to his Tower.
"Have you been listening to a word I've said, Master?" Gnarl's voice was suddenly much clearer than before, as the old Minion stood in front of Harry in the foyer of the Tower. "I was just mentioning that your Overlord powers and spells are different from the variety you've used before, based on intent rather than silly incantations and wand-waving… What are you doing, Sire?"
"I'm leaving." A growing pile of armor lay at Harry's feet as he unceremoniously removed it from his body. "I thought that this arrangement might have worked out, but I can't work with someone who has such little regard for other people's lives."
"This is preposterous! He was about to kill you! You can't just leave us here alone, Master."
"DON'T!" Harry bellowed, "call me your Master! We have nothing in common, you and I, and I don't know why I even considered accepting your help in the first place!" He breathed heavily. "Now send me back to Little Whinging." Gnarl didn't move. "NOW!"
"As you wish." Gnarl signaled the Minions to gather the armor that lay at Harry's feet, which they did, albeit in a very fearful fashion, reluctant to approach him. Gnarl turned around, facing the still-empty Overlord throne, and released a miserable sigh. "Just remember, that we shall always be here if you change your mind, Sire."
Magical energy began to engulf Harry's body. "Don't bet on it, Gnarl." For the third time that day, Harry was whisked away by the magical portal, only this time, he left the Minions behind.
Gnarl harrumphed, wondering just why the Netherworld had brought them to that pitiful boy in the first place. "Come along Minions. There is work to be done if we wish to find a suitable Overlord soon. And Reds, if you try to leave again, I'll string you up in the River of Souls and leave you there. I'm sure Mortis could use a little entertainment."
Luna Lovegood sat alone in her room, putting the finishing touches on a drawing when a device in the corner of her room began to shriek loudly. She glanced at the twirling, smoking device with a smile upon her face, then stood up and pulled on her shoes. She would simply have to wait to finish the drawing of Harry's new armor at a later date. Stepping outside of her room, she called up the long staircase. "Father, I'm going out to become Harry's new Mistress!"
A loud explosion greeted her, followed by her father's voice. "That's very good, sweetie. Just make sure you're back in time for dinner."
"I will, Daddy! Also, be careful with the Snorcack horn! We don't have time to find another one!"
"Will do, Princess!" he replied, even as a loud whistling began to fill the air. Satisfied, Luna turned and began walking down the stairs, eager to Apparate to Little Whinging to greet Harry. She only hoped he was as excited to see her as she was him.
Now, I'm going to head off a little bit of the hate right now. The reason Harry was so upset by the person's death, despite the fact that he was about to be blown to bits is because he simply isn't Evil enough yet. Rest assured, I have Plans that will change his views on that soon enough. It involves the wedding, but that's all I'm saying.
With that said, if you enjoy the Legend of Zelda series, (Ocarina of Time in particular) then you should go look up May7733 on Fanfiction . net. She's a great writer, and her story, The Thief's Revision, is shaping up to be a great DarkLink fic.
Review, and you will be loved. Fail to review, and I'll... withhold the next chapter! (My resources are limited in terms of torture, sorry)