Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Without You Is How I Disappear

by sushiipodrocks 1 review

How can Gerard cope after the loss of a loved one? My first story on here, it's a one shot and Frerard :)

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Drama,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2011-06-08 - Updated: 2011-06-08 - 2196 words

2Moving
I don't really understand the whole rating system so I'll apologise in advance if it's wrong :)
For once in my life, everything was perfect. My family were happy; Mom and Dad had finally stopped arguing over their financial issues, and decided to give their marriage another go, and Mikey was in a serious relationship with his girlfriend. My friends were happy; Bob finally persuaded his parents to agree to his drumming lessons, meaning he was one step closer to pursuing his life-long dream. Ray's family on the other hand had recently won five thousand dollars on game show, meaning Ray was brought a brand new 'Gibson les Paul' guitar, and taken on an around the world cruise. And surprisingly, I was happy. I'd confessed my long-lasting love to my best friend Frank Iero -the most talented, kindest, not to mention the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid my hazel orbs upon - only to discover that he too loved me! As I said, everything was perfect. Then it all came crashing down...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't deserve someone as perfect as you Frankie." I whispered.
"What? How can you even say that Gerard?"
"Because you're beautiful, funny, talented, smart-"
"Smart?" Frank interrupted, I placed my finger on his lips to silence him.
"-Artistic, an amazing guitarist, an amazing kisser..." I moved my face closer to his, setting my lips upon Franks, tasting the metallic of his lip ring, in which I sucked on, teasing him. A small groan escaped his lips, motivating me to pursue. I parted his mouth with my own, slipping in my tongue; exploring the inside of his jaw. My hands untangled themselves from Frank's curly, brown locks, and made their way to the hem of his shirt, which I hastily removed. Pulling away from our kiss, I allowed myself to catch a glance at Frank's perfectly toned stomach. I couldn't bring myself to look away. I soon felt Frank's hands removing my own shirt, leaving us both dressed in just our jeans.

We were soon in another embrace, Frank's hands wrapped around my waist, whilst mine fumbled with his belt buckle. I managed to pull Frank's jeans down his beautifully, tanned legs; now stood in only his boxers. I tugged at the elastic with my one hand, whilst my other slid inside the material. I stroked along Frank's semi, thrusting with my hand, slowly at first, but gradually increasing the speed.
"Oh! Gerard... Mmmph..." Frank moaned.
Frank was about to remove my jeans when there was a knock at my bedroom door. I always made sure I locked it when Frank and I were alone down here.
"Gerard? Frank?" It was Mikey, he should know better than to interrupt us.
"Mikey? What do you want? Frank and I are sort of...-"
"-Eww! Gerard I don't want to know! But there's something wrong, Mom and Dad need to talk to us all, I think it's pretty serious."

I groaned, kissing Frank's lips, softly and apologetically, before removing my hands from the sticky mess inside his boxers.

"Okay Mikes, we'll be right up." I threw Frank a clean pair of boxers and some pyjama trousers, whilst pulling my t-shirt back over my head. We both headed up the stairs from my basement bedroom, and into the living room where my Mom, sat crying on the sofa, my Dad was pacing back and forth shaking his head, and Mikey wearing the same expressions that were spread across both Frank's face and my own. I sat next to Mikey, pulling Frank onto my lap; my heart pounding with curiosity. It was my Dad who spoke first.

"Boys," He almost whispered. "We have some terrible news..."His voice was wobbling; he was fighting back tears. Whatever had happened must have been really bad as I'd never seen my Mom so hysterical, or my Dad even close to crying.

"Oh God!" My Dad gasped. "Boys, it's... It's Grandma Elena..."

Then he lost it, he broke down completely. What did he mean 'It's Grandma Elena'? Was she ill or something? I saw her yesterday and she seemed fine to me?

"What about her?" Mikey asked quietly, fearing the answer.
"She's... She's gone..."

No! No way did I just hear that! This is the part where some guy is supposed to jump out from behind the couch, camera in hand, ready to scream 'Gotcha!'
But there was no man behind our sofa, nobody so scream 'Gotcha!' in my face. I felt Frank's body tremble on my lap. Although Grandma Elena was not Frank's real Grandmother, there were still incredibly close. My eyes started flooding with tears, Mikey and Frank both mirrored my actions. We sat in there in silence, for what seemed like hours, nobody wanting to talk; not able to talk. My parents eventually left to burden my relatives with the heart-breaking news. Frank's tears had stopped; his breathing softly, evenly spaced out. He was asleep. I laid him down across the sofa, kissing his forehead softly before walking over to Mikey.
"I can't believe she's gone." Mikey whispered. "I won't believe it." I pulled him into a tight embrace, crying into each other's shoulders, until Mikey too, fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end of flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I stared at the gleaming blade in my hands. It had been three weeks since my parents disclosed such dreadful news. Three weeks. I'd never gone three days without seeing my Grandma before, how I'd managed three whole weeks was beyond me. But I just couldn't do it anymore. The day of the funeral was a blur to my eyes, as a blur was all I could decipher through my tear infested eyes.

I placed the knife on my desk before walking over to my bed which held Frank's sleeping body. He was beautiful, but I just couldn't cope with the grief.

"Goodbye, I love you." I whispered as I placed a soft kiss upon his sleeping lips.

He doesn't love you anyway; he's only with you out of sympathy.

I tried my best to ignore that infuriating voice in the back of my head. I knew that Frank did love me; he wasn't the type to lead people on, or to pity someone. No, Frank did love me. Yet I still couldn't help but wonder why? I mean, he's beautiful, kind and talented; he could get any person he wanted, but he still chooses me?

I sat at the desk, admiring the silver knife lying in front of me.

I missed my Grandma so much. She was always there for me. She should be here to talk me out of this. My Grandma was the first person I'd told when I discovered my sexuality, the first person I told when I discovered that I was in love with me best friend. She'd always listen to me, when I'd pour out my heart, crying uncontrollably in to her lap. She always knew how to cheer me up; a cup of coffee and her homemade cookies.

She was the one who help me discover my singing voice; always encouraging me to express myself through music. She even made me audition for the part of 'Peter Pan' in my first school play, and made my green, lycra outfit when I won the audition. I laughed at the memory, glancing over at the framed photograph of a chubby kid dressed completely in green, hugging his proud, loving Grandma.

I picked up the knife, catching my reflection in the silvery blade.

"Pathetic." I spat, as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Frankie, I love you" I plunged the knife deep into my stomach, screaming as I did so.

"Gerard? Is that you?"

My eyesight began to fade; my hearing going all fuzzy. I lost my balance and fell to the ground, still clutching the knife, protruding from my stomach.

"Gerard? Gerard!" Frank screamed frantically. "No! No Gerard! Don't do this to me" I heard him run to my bedroom door, screaming p to Mikey and my parents. He was soon back at my side, kissing my forehead, stroking my cheek, rocking me back and forth.

"I love you Gerard! Don't you dare even think about leaving me..." He cried.

"Frankie..." I croaked. "I...I love... you..." The darkness was too overpowering. New screams of my family soon joint those of my boyfriend's. They started to slowly fade away as I was engulfed into the black.






I awoke, unaware of my surroundings. I felt no pain where my wound should be. Once my eyes focused, I realised I was surrounded by... nothing?I was lying in a deserted patch of land. There were no buildings, no roads, no people, no... nothing?

"Oh Gerard... Gerard, Gerard, Gerard..." I spun around at the sound of my Grandma's voice. She was standing there, right in front of me, alive. She pulled me into a tight embrace, proving that she was in fact very much real.

"Gerard..." She repeated, yet again, pulling out of the hug."What on earth do you think you're doing? Frightening your family like that. You know Mikey dotes upon you, how could he cope if you died?" The floor suddenly became very interesting; I couldn't even bring myself to look at my own Grandma, I'm such a disappointment to everyone. I didn't even know what to say back to her.

"And what about Frank? I thought you loved him..."

"I do love him! More than he could ever know."

"Gerard, sweetie, do you know how much Frank loves you! He was the same as you, he always came to me for advise; pouring his heart and soul out. Telling me that he'd loved you for so many years, but didn't want to ruin your friendship. He kept saying that the two of you would never be together. And now you are and you've left!"

"I couldn't cope," I cried. "I missed you so much."

"I know Gerard, but it was my time to go, you have to understand that sweetie. You, you're only seventeen; you have your whole life ahead of you. You are going to be a successful artist, singer and song writer. You'll travel the world with your brother, friends and boyfriend. You'll be part of a famous band that kids all over the world will love and look up to. You are NOT ready to leave this world. I love you Gerard." I nodded.

"I love you too Grandma. But how? Surely if I'm seeing you, I'm dead? How do I get back?"

"Just open your eyes..." She whispered. I stood there, utterly confused.

"What? W...my eyes are open?"

"Please Gerard, just open your eyes." I started blinking frantically, not understanding what my Grandma meant.

Suddenly, everything started fading away around me, my Grandma's words circling around in my head.

"Please, please Gerard, I need you. Open your eyes please..." This time it wasn't my Grandma's voice. I wracked my brain for the image of the beautiful person calling my name.

"Gerard, please, just wake up."

I am awake! I tried so badly to scream.

There was a sudden pain in my stomach, along with an uncomfortable feeling in my arm. I felt a hand grasping my own. I tightened my grip.

"Gerard!" My eyes flickered open. Frank was sitting so close that he was practically on my lap.

"Gerard! You're awake! Mikey! He's awake!"

I smiled as my brother ran into the room, shortly followed my both my parents and a doctor.

"Oh God, Gerard! What were you thinking! We were so worried!" My Dad cried.

"I'm so sorry..." I croaked. "I just missed her so much. "Tears ran down the side of my cheek as my Dad nodded, understanding what I meant.

"Mikey, I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to scare you all like that. I'll be here for you Mikes, always." He nodded, pulling me into a hug. The doctor then addressed me.

"Mr Way, you're extremely lucky that your friend fou..."

"Boyfriend" I corrected.

"Sorry, that your boyfriend found you when he did. You have been unconscious for three days, so you will have to stay here for one more night unfortunately, but you can go home first thing in the morning."

"Thank you." I smiled. The doctor nodded and left. I turned to Frank.

"You... you saved my life." I looked at his face. He had dark circles under his puffy, red eyes. He was also paler than usual. I heard my parents and Mikey leave, obviously sensing that I wanted to talk to Frank.

"I'll never do anything like that again... I promise. I'll never leave you Frank. I love you so much, more than I ever have before."

Frank pulled me into a hug.

"I love you too Gerard... I was so scared. I thought you were never going to wake up - I thought I'd lost you forever. But just so you know, if you'd have died, I'd have been right behind you." He whispered, before placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Don't worry Frank, I promise I'll stay with you, forever."

Was it any good? Please R&R and let me know :) Aiysha xoxo
Sign up to rate and review this story