Just open your eyes...
I finally got the chance to update. I've had so much stuff to do this past month that I haven't really had time to work on this. I'm moving into a small apartment from my dad, just because I'm switching schools. And I'm in the middle of writing a fic with my best friend (it's actually the third part. We started the first story in June of last year) that just keeps going. We thought we were gonna end it, but I came up with a better idea. We based the first story off of Revenge, and the second off of The Black Parade. So I suggested we finally finish it off with Bullets. So not only are we doing that, we're rewriting it to post on here as an original fiction. I'm really excited about that. It's a psychotic romance/horror/drama. So I might be updating a little slower than usual until we get that going. And I'm sorry this is so short. It's kind of a filler.
I slid my pen into the pages of my notebook and set it next to my bed. Another morning closer to what I dreaded the most, and another morning of being alone. Not exactly the best state of mind to promote hopeful feelings. But I didn't care. I wouldn't be home anyway, and I would have some time to take a nice long walk.
I guess it seems like that's all I do in the summer, but I'm probably the farthest thing from being social, anyway. I don't like people, and people don't like me. And that's the beautiful cycle of my life. Or, not-so-beautiful cycle. It depends on if you see the glass as half full or half empty. I personally say that it's just invisible liquid on top of the stuff you can see. That way you can't argue either way.
It had been two weeks since Gerard had said he'd get to know me. I was surprised by some of his approaches. His latest was to sit in the tree outside my bedroom while I was staring out my window. It wasn't anything odd, really. I thought it was kind of cute, considering I'm not always in the mood to be outside of my room. He'd just sit there and talk to me, keeping my company for as long as I
could stand. Monty had found it hysterical that he went so far as to climb a huge-ass tree just to talk, but I didn't care. He didn't annoy me, and I didn't tell him too much.
Gerard seemed to be casual about everything. He didn't act like he was desperate for information. He respected the fact that I sometimes wanted to be alone. I wasn't sure how things would go when I left for camp, though. That would take away half of his time to 'figure me out'. It was almost like he planned to know as much as he could before I left.
I stood, stretching for a moment. I'd been awake for an hour, but I still felt like I was asleep. I was blank and empty so far, and I couldn't care less. It was nice not having a bunch of feelings swirling around in my head. I was already dressed and ready to do something, I just wasn't sure what yet. No matter what I did, it didn't seem possible to even move without Gerard ready to follow. That attitude on someone who seemed so calm really made me want to smile. Or at least smirk.
As I padded downstairs in my bare feet, I realized just how hot it was. My mom hadn't turned on the air conditioner in the kitchen, so it felt like a sauna.
I sighed quietly and walked into the kitchen, switching the air conditioner onto 'high'. Cool air started filtering into the small area. Satisfied, I went back upstairs to retrieve my shoes. I decided today was my day to just relax and not worry about anything. Next week I'd be packing up my stuff and leaving the safety of my bedroom, only to be exposed to the horrible experience called 'summer camp'.
I was slightly glad that Monty had suggested it, just as a way to spend some time actually doing something, but camp wasn't really one of those 'somethings' I'd normally be into. I didn't really care anymore. Yes, it would possibly be the biggest waste of my time since Frank moved in across the street twelve years ago. But it would at least be a way to pass the time. I don't care if it's wasted.
I'd be stuck outside most of the time, anyway. So I guess that would be a good thing. I'd have Monty with me, so that'd make it better. And I'd be rid of Frank. Which would make it as close to a heavenly experience as you could get in the middle of nowhere. I wouldn't have any form of music with me (just for the relaxation effect...), and I'd make sure to bring an extra journal. It wouldn't be exactly like home, but it'd work for the duration of the time I'd be there.
I slipped on my sandals and went back downstairs, exiting through the front door after checking the window to see if anyone was outside. I wasn't taking any risks on running into Frank. I wasn't about to let him ruin my morning.
It was a lot warmer inside than it was outside, so I was already more comfortable. I walked over to the porch swing, laying down on it and balancing myself to ensure my own safety. I leaned back and closed my eyes, hoping that within the next fifteen minutes I wouldn't have to move because the sun was directly in my eyes. A gentle breeze occasionally blew over me, making the swing move a little. It made me less tense just to feel the small motions.
I wished I could open my eyes and nothing would have changed. That everything would have been a dream. I would hear my dad and his infectious laughter, and my mom's quiet giggles. My aunt would be sitting in the kitchen with my mom, and my cousin would be up in my room, going through my things with a curious innocence. I'd hear a car pull up, and get off the swing to run down the driveway. My grandparents would get out of their minivan, smiling, as usual. I'd hug them, and they'd fawn over how much I'd grown in the past six months, when I really hadn't grown at all.
But I knew that wouldn't happen. My grandfather is in a nursing home, my aunt lives 200 miles away, and my cousin lost that 'curious innocence' years ago. Reality will always be harsh, but you can always dream.
'Kay. I actually have something slightly interesting to add. One of my friends decided to be a baka yarō and make two different banners for this story. I'm going to be posting it on another site shortly, so I asked her to make a banner. She made two, and told me to decide. But I can't really choose. So I need a little help (the links are to the public links, if I'm correct. So they should most likely show up)...
Banner #1: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=253240&l=b13107eff3&id=100002010158105
Banner #2: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=253246&l=48a8ab8151&id=100002010158105
I'd really like some opinions :)