FicWad

A/N- I don’t own these characters because if I did I’d be swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck! This story is turning into more of a comedy then when it started, don’t worry it is still a perverted work of fiction but I’m not going to re-write the whole thing so you’ll just have to play along with the tone changes. Thank you again for the reviews, I like that people are guessing plot points down the road, and some are very close, but I believe the coven’s intentions are still a mystery to most. With that said- on with the fanfiction!

Chapter 14- A meeting, a match, and a perverted unicorn.

Harry awoke alone, he got dressed quickly and left the classroom and went down to the great hall where dinner was still being served. He sat down amongst the 7th year Gryffindor’s and dug into his Sheppard’s pie. Demelza, Hermione, Ginny, Rachel, and Dorothy all seemed to be quite flush and happy that night, which led to the boys having a good time as well. Harry was really glad at his decision to come back to complete his education, he was growing fond of this group and was really enjoying his connections with the other houses. Looking over the other tables his eyes caught a very happy looking Susan Bones talking to her friend Hannah Abbot, Susan winked at Harry as she caught his looking at her and smiled. At the Ravenclaw table three witches he knew were sitting close and chatting, Luna, Kylee, and Casey all looked radiant. Harry was internally quite surprised but happy to have found relationships with some Slytherin’s, Pansy and Daphne were also sitting next to each other along and they were chatting quite close and seemed to be looking to not be overheard. The old Harry would have been concerned at Slytherin plotting something, but both girls happened to look up at Harry at the same time, and both gave him radiant smiles and blew him kisses.

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful, Quiddich practice went well and Harry thought the upcoming match vs. Ravenclaw was going to be Gryffindor’s to lose. The chasers were as good as Alicia, Angelina, and Katie in their prime and the beaters Dorothy and Jimmy had a healthy competition to see how many Bludgers they could direct at Ron during the match, and Ron had really improved his keeping ability since he was now continually banging Lavender Brown. Harry had lost count on the number of times those two had left the common room (they no longer snuck out, Lavender had actually declared a few times to the entire room that she was going to be buggered by Ron-Ron) which made most of the blokes cheer and the girls giggle as they left.

Friday evening came about and Harry met Pansy and to his surprise Daphne and Susan at the Headmistresses office. All three girls looked very smart in business suit jackets with white dress shirts showing a bit of cleavage, but nothing too risqué and matching black skirts, their hair all done up in tight buns.

“I hope you don’t mind Harry, but I thought both Susan and Daphne would be good witnesses to this meeting, they both have families that are tied into the Wizengamot,” Said Pansy.

“Thank you for being so thoughtful Pansy,” replied Harry.

The group went up the staircase to the large wooden doors of the Headmistress and Harry knocked.

“Enter!” said a thick Scottish accent, belonging to Minerva McGonigle.

Harry held the door for all three witches and then walked into the room he had spent so much time in previously over the last few years. Minerva stood as the students entered and found chairs to sit in she looked at Harry with raised eyebrows, but it was Pansy who spoke.

“Headmistress, I apologize for intruding on your meeting with Harry, but he has asked me to act as a formal liaison for him in all political matters, I feel Harry has not gotten the proper political education in what will be expected of him after his schooling is complete. Furthermore I believe Harry needs some help in running his House once he graduates; no one has been looking over the House of Potter or Black since Serious’ death.”

Minerva stared at the curvy Slytherin for a few moments, then her lips relaxing into a bit of a smile she said, “I believe you are correct Ms. Parkinson, Harry does need assistance before he leaves this school, I believe you three might just be the answer to the problem before us.”

“We are the answer?” asked Daphne and Susan at the same time.

“Well, I don’t have a staff member who has political influence currently, well maybe Slughorn, but he doesn’t have direct political influence. You three girls are probably the most suited for being tutors for Harry, think of it like the DA, but for political maneuvering, with these three as your instructors” answered Minerva.

Harry glanced at each of the young witches faces; he saw warmth and compassion on Susan’s face, pride and a bit of subservience on Pansy, and interest with a mix of a predatory look on Daphne’s face. Looking back at McGonigle he nodded his approval. Minerva arranged for Harry’s personal documents to be transferred over to Harry by the time of their first meeting, which would be held in a private unused class room on the 3rd floor. Harry and the three witches left the headmistress’s office and each witch gave Harry a kiss on the cheek as they went back to their respective common rooms. Harry stood in the hallway listening to their footsteps fade away until there was quiet.

“Potty, how you get so bloody lucky?” asked a high pitched voice behind Harry.

Spinning around Harry had his wand out and a curse on his lips before he realized the owner of voice couldn’t be cursed, it was the castle poltergeist Peeves.

“Peeves, haven’t seen you around lately, what have you been up too?” Asked Harry with a smirk, he had always thought Peeves was a bit annoying, but the nuisance had proved useful in the end.

“Been peeping and the kiddies when they showering, ickle ones can’t figure out why theys clothes always disappears when they in the showers,” cackled the specter, “I gets to see their nakky bodies all I wants.”

“What exactly does that do for you; I mean you can’t, uhh...” Harry started looking down to where Peeves genitalia would be if he were human.

“Oh yeses, I gets boners all the time, show the girls them I do, but the ickle bitches just laugh and points, so I take their clothes and hides them, I do! Then I’s go to moaning N’ groaning Myrtle and dips me wick in her, yeses that Myrtle is a tart she is…” yelled Peeves as he looped overhead Harry.

“Right… I don’t even want to know how that works,” Harry replied and he began to walk down the corridor leaving the poltergeist sitting on top a suit of armor in a vestibule. He was just turning into a secret staircase behind a tapestry when Peeves added “Potty is in trouble, the coven’s gonna bubble, potions they are making, his power for the taking!”

Harry looked back at Peeves as the sprit shot through a wall while pulling his pants down and mooning Harry.

“What the bloody hell did that mean?” Harry said aloud to himself.

The Quiddich match versus Ravenclaw was what had the great hall abuzz the next morning; Harry entered the hall leading his team in Crimson and Gold. The Gryffindor’s roared their approval, with some applause from Hufflepuff, but only about half the table. When the Ravenclaw’s walked into the great hall a larger roar from Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and the rest of Hufflepuff’s cheered for the Blue and Bronze clad team. Harry knew the chasers were all very quick and agile, he noted they were all girls, Kylee and Casey and another fierce looking red head with short spiky hair being the chasers and two long wiry looking boys who were the beaters. The Ravenclaw goalie was a roundish witch with a toad like face, she reminded him of Umbitch, and their seeker was a mousey looking 2nd year girl, who was so small and thin Harry couldn’t imagine the wind blowing her around like a kite.

After a breakfast of Sausages, eggs, and biscuits the Gryffindor’s rose as a team and made their way down to the pitch. Harry addressed the team in the locker room, going over their strategy again, making sure everyone felt well and were ready for the match. Soon the crowd outside began shouting cheers back and forth and Harry knew the match was about to begin. Lining up on the pitch facing the Ravenclaw’s, each position shaking hands with their counterparts. Harry was surprised by the mousey seekers firm hand shake and even more surprised she carried with her a Thunderbolt XP as well, he knew not to judge a book by its cover, but he was starting to get the feeling this tiny seeker might be better than she looked.

Madam Hootch blew her whistle and everyone took off, the keepers speeding off toward their respective goals and the chasers shooting off toward the Quaffle. Harry looked around for the snitch as well as looking for the Ravenclaw seeker. A booming voice filled the pitch as the announcer began to call the action. The steady voice of a Hufflepuff girl rang out.

It’s a beautiful day here at the Hogwarts pitch, today’s match is between the two still undefeated teams Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, as you know both teams won their first match against Hufflepuff and Slytherin respectively. Ravenclaw is led by their Captain, keeper Francis McDowell, who is barking out orders to her team as I speak. Ravenclaw is known for their speedy Chasers and the ever agile Seeker Claudia Longspeed. Gryffindor is led by the infamous and quite handsome and studdley Harry Potter and anchored by the very lanky and not very cute Ron “the King” Weasley who are backed by a very talented group of chasers and beaters.
Gryffindor catches the Quaffle first and it’s Demelza Robbins in control, she passes to Ginny Weasley, who loops over Kylee Harkin and under Renee O’Riordan and passes back to Robbins who shoots and is denied by McDowell who fires the Quaffle to Casey Jones, cousin to infamous Gwenog Jones! Casey avoids a bludger sent from Selpot and feints toward the right side goal but shoots left! Oooh tough save by Weasley, he deflects the Quaffle to his much cuter sister.

The chasers streaked back and forth but it looked to be a defensive standoff between the keepers, Harry was impressed by the Ravenclaw captain McDowell, she may have been beaten with an ugly stick and looked a bit like a soccer ball, but she filled the goals well and worked angles so well that her lack of speed and agility were a non-issue. Harry was trying to keep pace with the seeker Longspeed but the girl lay flat against her broom and shot about the pitch at breakneck speeds turning on a dime. Harry began to worry that unless he spotted the snitch first and had a good lead, Longspeed would easily outpace him. After 30 minutes of stalemate quiddich which saw some truly athletic saves from Ron and great tactical positioning by McDowell, Harry called time out to get his team to re-group.

“That bitch is built like a brick wall!” cursed Ginny as the team huddled below their goals.

“We need to run interference when we attack, she is slow but positions herself well, use bludgers and deceit to keep her off balance,” Harry told the group. “I need to find the bloody snitch quick that seeker is like a hummingbird!”

“Harry you worry about the snitch, Dorothy and I will take care of the toady keeper,” Jimmy said winking at Dorothy.

Looks like the teams are done huddling and there’s the whistle and the Quaffle is up, Gryffindor gains possession, Weasley has it, she flies straight up with Robbins and Hawthorne in a tight formation. I can’t tell who has the Quaffle now but here the chasers come back down, streaking straight toward McDowell. McDowell is trying to figure out who has the Quaffle and Oh My! McDowell is hit by a bludger from Selpot, that thing came out of nowhere! Hawthorne scores easily with the Ravenclaw keeper temporarily seeing stars! Gryffindor scores and goes up 10-0! Now Ravenclaw has possession and it’s Harkin to O’Riordan, now to Jones, back to O’Riordan. Robbins attempts to intercept but a bludger keeps her away, Jones and Harkin speed ahead straight towards the Gryffindor keeper, they stop and oh my, what’s this? I think the Ravenclaw chasers just flashed Weasley their perfect, perky titties! In the confusion O’Riordan scores! It’s 10-10!

“Keep your mind in the game you prat!” yelled Ginny at her brother as she caught the Quaffle and looped back toward the Ravenclaw’s.

“Ron looked ashen faced as Harry flew by. “They were perfect Harry, you have no idea…” Ron yelled to his friend.

“I do Ron, just try and focus right?” Harry yelled back.

With the seal broken on the scoring the match quickly turned into an offensive match, the two teams trading off points by different techniques, some of which included Ginny scoring by leaving her broom stick for a few seconds to jump over an outstretched defender, and Kylee throwing off Ron by telling him she’d happily suck his cock after the match while Casey scored. Meanwhile Harry had seen the snitch just twice and each time didn’t move toward it since Longspeed was closer to it each time and he didn’t want to risk her beating him to it. As Harry was circling the Ravenclaw goals, he spotted the snitch again near midfield, a few feet off the ground and saw Longspeed was on the other side near Ron and behind a wall of chasers and beaters that were attempting to score on Ron.

It’s 70-60 Gryffindor, with Ravenclaw threatening. Oh my! It looks like Potter has spotted the snitch, but Longspeed is going for it as well! She corkscrews through the scrum in front of the Gryffindor goals and is streaking toward midfield as well, Merlin’s beard that girl can move! Both Seekers are heading toward each other at an alarming pace; this could end in a terrible crash! The chasers have stopped their attack to watch as this match could be decided right now! Potter is reaching out as is Longspeed, Oh my! The match is over!

Harry was determined to win this game of chicken; he had sped straight at the snitch with every fiber of his being focused on grabbing the little golden ball. He was sure the little girl wouldn’t drive straight into him and she’d have to pull away. He reached out and closed his hand pulling up to avoid plowing into the ground and looked at his hand to confirm that he had the snitch. It wasn’t there, and as he registered this fact in his brain, he heard the roar of the Ravenclaw supporters and his heart sank.

The young seeker had been mobbed by her teammates as she had held the snitch high for everyone to see after leaping off her broom. The Gryffindor team had gathered by their own goal and all looked disgruntled, but no one blamed Harry for what happened, they knew they had just witnessed an amazing play, just upset they had been on the wrong side of it. After the match Harry walked up toward the castle after a quiet shower he saw Luna Lovegood standing on the lawn waiting for him.

“I hope you didn’t forget our bet Harry.” Luna said in her special dreamy way.

“Gosh, I almost did Luna, but your right I believe if we lost I am to be yours for the day.” Harry said with a bit of a smile. “So when would you like to take your winnings?”

“Well I believe I had first said it would be a Saturday, but I was wondering if you would mind if we did it tomorrow?” Luna answered looking as lucid as she ever had.

“That would be fine Luna, I look forward to it. Let’s meet here tomorrow morning at 7?” asked Harry.

Luna smiled and nodded and returned to the castle without another word, leaving Harry to wonder what was in store for him tomorrow.

Later on when Harry would look through Neville’s Omniocculars in the common room. He would see that Neville had gotten the whole thing captured perfectly, slowing down the action he saw himself and Longspeed streaking toward each other, and just as Harry was reaching out, Claudia had done a sloth grip roll timed to perfection so that the two brooms had been inches apart as they passed, the Ravenclaw seeker hanging upside down and grabbing the snitch away from Harry’s finger tips in a flash, missing touching him by a millimeter. Harry was upset with himself, but even he had to admit it was one of the most amazing finishes to a match he had ever seen, even if he has needed the Omniocculars to actually see what had happened.

Harry had given the Omniocculars back to Neville after watching his defeat several times, and sat quietly doing some reading for class before turning in early for the night. He woke at 6:30 and quickly slipped out of his four poster, his fellow 7th years all snoring away and showered and dressed quickly heading down to the front lawn. Harry wore jeans and a solid black t-shirt with trainers on, he exited the front doors to the castle and saw Luna standing facing toward the forbidden forest, she had the morning sun hitting her back and she glowed in its orange rays. Luna wore a white lacey “A-Line” dress that ended just above her knees and had spaghetti straps at the top. Harry thought she looked like an angel, and as if she knew he was thinking about her she turned to face him and the sun hit her face and was wild with sunshine. Harry was under her spell as she smiled and held out her hand to him.

Harry walked to Luna and they held hands as Luna walked them down to the forest in silence. She led him on a small path through the old trees, over some dry creek beds, through thick thorny undergrowth, but she knew all the easiest ways through and Harry wasn’t snagged on any of the thorns. After 20 minutes of walking they came to a small clearing. Luna brought Harry to the middle and pulled a small blanket from a small bag she had stowed in her dress. Harry helped the blonde beauty spread the blanket out and they sat on it together. Luna and Harry talked of everything and nothing. They discussed plans after Hogwarts, Luna was choosing to become a magical creature biologist and advocate with the hopes of running a sanctuary for endangered magical creatures. Harry mused about becoming an Auror, but he still wasn’t sure he wanted to work for the ministry. After a few hours of chatting, Luna said she was hungry.

“Oh Creature!” Harry called.

A cracking sound was heard and Creature the House Elf appeared before them bowing low.

“What can Creature provide for Master Harry? Asked the House Elf in his low croak.

“Creature, can you bring us a breakfast picnic?” asked Harry.

“Of course Master, Creature will bring you and your mistress anything you would like.” Creature answered and bowed and disappeared with a crack.

Minutes later Harry and Luna were enjoying fresh fruit, toast, and some coffee. After finishing their meal a unicorn walked into the clearing, it was a stunning white, with a long single horn a deep silver color. I walked to Luna who smiled and stood and began patting the magical creature on its nose.

“This is my friend Harry, Harry this is Charlie the Unicorn.” Said Luna softly.

“Charlie? The unicorn’s name is Charlie?” asked Harry.

“Yes Harry, his name is Charlie, why what’s wrong with Charlie?” asked Luna.

“I just figured it would have a name like Starlight, or Raindancer, or something,” said Harry.

“Not to be cruel Harry, but those names are retarded,” Luna replied in her usual dreamy way.

“Charlie is a good name I suppose, how long have you know him?” asked Harry.

“Oh I met Charlie when I was a second year, some older girls were chasing me trying to pick on me and I ran into the woods and got lost, I was in here for hours when Charlie came across me sobbing at the foot of a large tree. He guided me back through the dark toward the school. I began visiting him weekly, and we have become great friends over the years. Charlie is a wonderful companion; he is also a great listener.” Explained Luna.

“That’s fantastic Luna, could I pat him?” asked Harry.

Luna turned to the Unicorn and whispered in his ear, Harry had long ago stopped making incredulous faces when Luna would do something odd, she looked at Harry and smiled, then something truly amazing happened.

“You can pat me on my head, but don’t go south of my neck unless you like Unicorn horn rammed through your gut,” said a voice.

Harry’s jaw dropped and eyes bugged out, he looked at the unicorn and in amazement, and then saw its mouth move again.

“Yeah I can talk, big whoop, most Unicorn’s can we just choose not to,” said Charlie.

“Well…it’s nice to meet you Charlie,” said Harry.

“Well, you are one of the two humans I wanted to talk to besides gorgeous here,” Charlie said nodding toward Luna, “you see, my wife was the unicorn that was killed by Lord Voldemort, you remember her Harry?”

Harry thought back to his first year at Hogwarts and seeing the half human version of Voldemort feasting on the unicorn blood.

“My god I’m sorry, so sorry for your loss.” Said Harry.

“Yeah it sucked, so I was really glad you killed that fucking dark bastard, had I run across the bastard I would speared him like a shish kabob, then I woulda cut his eyes out with my horn and eaten them, then I woulda pooped in his eye sockets, then I woulda…”

“Charlie! Enough!” said Luna in an authoritative tone.

“Sorry Luna, I forgot my fucking manners, anyways since Luna and I are good friends and she owes me a favor, I had asked her to do something for me a while back, and today she said she would do it for me, but you see it includes you.” said the Unicorn.

“Well, I am Luna’s to do with for the day, what can I help you out with?” asked Harry.

“Since my wife was killed, I’ve been really hard up for finding another available unicorn, and I got a thing for Luna, but she isn’t into fucking a Unicorn, so I suggested she just let me watch her fuck someone else and she agreed. I suppose since you’re here today, she has chosen you to fuck her while I watch.” said Charlie.

Harry looked from Charlie to Luna, who smiled and winked.

“Seriously?” asked Harry to Luna.

“Yes Harry, I did promise Charlie here he could watch me with another human, so I was hoping you and I could fornicate and Charlie here would watch.”

“I guess so, want to do it right now?” asked Harry.

“Oh yes, another fantasy of mine is to make love in the sunshine surrounded by nature. So this situation is ideal for both Charlie and I,” said Luna.

Harry nervously laughed, and figured what the hell, he’d been waiting to get into Luna’s panties for some time, now was as good as any. He walked over to the delicate blonde and kissed her with a deep rooted passion. She was one of the few girls at Hogwarts that he cared for deeply, he could even see a future that led to a long term relationship with her. For now that future remained a mystery, but what didn’t was that Luna had a taut nubile body she had covered up far too long with the dress she was wearing. Harry pulled it over her head to reveal the lacy bra he had noticed earlier and a white lace bikini bottom that covered the soft curve of her ass and showed her magnificent small of her back, where there was a tattoo of an ancient rune.

“What does your tattoo mean Luna?” asked Harry in a whisper.

“It means Naughty Witch who enjoys being lashed with handsome wizard’s tongues,” answered Luna matter of factly.

“Seriously?” asked Harry.

“No Harry, you are too easy to fool, it’s Rune for Crumple Horned Snorkack.” Luna giggled, “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy a good tongue lashing.”

Harry took that hint and laid Luna down on the blanket, her skin glowed in the sunlight and she was an angel, albeit an angel who looked ready to commit some serious sinning. Harry kissed her red lips and made his way down her pale neck, over her collarbone, released her perfect breasts from their lacy cage and enjoyed the hard sickle sized nipples in his mouth, sucking on each softly and hearing Luna moan softly at his efforts. Harry lingering on each perfect mound of flesh and then continued his way down Luna’s flat tummy to her hip bones and traced her well defined line to her panties, which he could already tell were becoming quite wet.

Harry pulled her lace away with his teeth down her legs and flung them off her ankles. He then dove head first into her wet, sweet, perfectly trimmed pussy. Harry did his best to be gentle yet rub her clit in a perfect rhythm that slowly got faster and with more pressure as he went. Harry worked over Luna’s shaved snatch for what seemed like hours, he got lost in it and loved the feeling of her warm thighs squeezing his head and covering his ears and she panted and moaned. Finally she pulled his hair back and screamed, a small pulse of white light momentarily blinded Harry as she squirted her cum at him and if covered Harry’s face...

Growling with desire Harry kissed Luna deeply, his tongue invading her warm moist mouth and letting her taste her own juices. Her hands were all over him and quickly tearing his shirt off of him and forcing his jeans down to reveal his thick cock springing up from its confinement and standing its 12 full inches of glory. Luna’s eye got dreamy and she grabbed it in her hand, testing its size with her delicate fingers. She rolled him onto his back and licked his thick meaty shaft with her small pink tongue. Harry brushed her hair to the side so he could watch her begin to suck his cock head, which she did slowly with her eyes closed. Slowly Luna took Harry inch by inch until she had his entire length in her mouth and throat. Then she began humming a day dreamy tune that sounded familiar to Harry, like it was his very own theme song, but of course that would be silly.

The vibrations surrounding his cock made Harry wish this feeling would never end, Luna kept humming her song, and it’s waltzing rhythm sent tiny shockwaves through Harry’s magical core. He soon was grunting and Luna’s eyes flew open as Harry unloaded his special sauce and filled the small blonde’s mouth which quickly began running down her chest. Harry and Luna both sent out pulses of white energy and after a few moments of Luna choking down his seed, she moaned loudly.

“Oooh, Harry, your cum is so yummy, have you thought to market this stuff, you could charge 20 galleons a vial, I’m sure it has some healing properties as well, besides the side effect that is obviously causing me to have a strong sustained orgasm over the last minute,” Luna said in her dreamy tone.

She then very matter of factly climbed on top of Harry and guided Harry’s wet cock into her dripping pussy and began bouncing on Harry like she was on an inflatable toy that children use with handles, except in this case Harry’s ears were the handles. Harry lay entranced with the young witches’ breasts which bounced in perfect rhythm as well. Luna bounced on Harry’s pole for 15 minutes, experiencing several orgasms, each shooting pulses of white light out, her buttocks shaking each time she landed on Harry. She finally rolled off Harry and stuck her cute ass into the air and told Harry to stick his magic stick into her Nargle hole, which Harry had to take a few seconds to even understand what she meant.

Anal sex with Luna was interesting, she tended buck a bit like a wild horse, so Harry was holding her hips and just trying to stay “on”, but after several minutes he finally filled her with another dose of Harry sauce and while they both flashed with energy, she bucked him off and writhed in pleasure as Harry collapsed on the blanket next to her. A loud thud finally roused them both from their post coital stupor and Harry looked upon Charlie the unicorn, who was on his back, his legs stiff in the air, his unicorn cock rigid between his legs, and a smile plastered on his face.

Luna stood up first and walked to the white creature, she bent over and plucked several hairs from his tail, and then turned to Harry, a tear in her eye and her body glistening from their combined fluids, “you have to take the hair within moments of them dying otherwise it is useless, and that would be such a waste don’t you think?” she asked.

Harry gaped, “I’m so sorry Luna I…”

“Oh Harry, Charlie is in a better place, besides I think he died the way he wanted to, watching me get drilled by a unicorn sized cock, it’s all right,” Luna interrupted.

She then walked back to Harry and hugged him and they both curled up on the blanket and fell asleep.