Mikey is more than a little horrified to here Gerard and Franks definition of 'brotherly affection.' NOT WAYCEST, kinda-not-really-Frerard.
"Frank let go" he ground out.
"Bob dared me to stay like this until tomorrow morning" was the cheerful reply.
"Bob's not here" Mikey snapped.
"Yeah" Frank agreed. "Because you threw him out. Into the rose bush I might add...I don't think we'll be performing for a while."
"It'll be even longer if you don't let go. Now."
"Nope. I think I'll stay like this."
Mikey closed his eyes and ran one hand over his temples. 'Why me?'
"Mikey?" said a voice from the doorway of the kitchen. His eyes trailed off and he let a small smile slip across his face when he saw Alicia. A look of concern replaced the smile shortly after when he saw the expression on her face.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Mikey...your brother's really scaring me" Alicia replied, her brow furrowing slightly. "I mean...really scaring me."
Mikey bit back a moan of despair and forced a smile onto his face.
"It's alright" he said, wishing those words were true. "I'll check things out."
He hobbled past his wife with Frank still clinging to him. Alicia looked bewildered when she saw him.
"Frank?" she asked, uncertainly.
"Don't ask" Mikey muttered. "Please don't ask."
He staggered into the kitchen, his eyes immediately flying over to where his brother was. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Gerard...what are you doing?"
"Pole dancing" was the immediate answer. Mikey resisted the urge to scream.
"I know that..." managed to say, once he had gained control over himself once more.”But why are you...well...doing it?"
"Frank dared me too, remember?"
"That game ended when I threw Ray and Bob out of the house" Mikey retorted. Gerard blinked.
"You threw Ray and Bob out of the house?"
"He damaged Bob" Frank piped in.
"You damaged Bob?" Gerard looked vaguely horrified.
"This idiot here is exaggerating" Mikey snapped. "And Frank let go of me!"
"But Gerard's still doing his dare!" Frank whined in protest.
"Well he shouldn't be!" Mikey growled. Gerard looked up momentarily, shrugged, and then went back to what he was doing.
"Gerard...stop smiling. Please" Mikey pleaded.
"This is surprisingly fun" was the reply he received. Mikey squeezed his eyes shut.
"Go Baby, go!"
Mikey's eyes flew open. In one fluid moment he kicked Frank in the face, watching in satisfaction as the smaller man skid across the floor.
"Whadya do that for?" he whined.
"Stop calling my brother 'Baby!'" Mikey growled. "You're both married for Christ's sake!"
"Ah, he doesn't mean anything by it Mikey" Gerard said, finally getting away from his precious pole.
"Gee" Frank whimpered.
"Mikey hurt me. Kiss it better."
"Sure thing." Gerard walked over and, as if it was no big deal, leaned over and kissed Frank right on the mouth. He pulled back and turned over to where Mikey was gaping at them.
"...Doesn't mean anything by it?" Mikey said after a moment.
"Course not" Gerard replied. "It's just some friendly affection."
"Sure" Frank chirped, pulling himself off the floor. "Gee and I are best friends. It's just something best friends do!"
"Funny" Mikey retorted. "Because I usually don't go walking on the streets and see best friends making out at every corner. Especially not best friends that are married."
"Aw come on Mikey it really isn't a big deal. I mean, Jamia totally understands. She knows I love her more than anything. And Gee has Lyn-Z...he loves her..."
"Definitely" Gerard said, cutting whatever Frank was going to say next. "That women's great. An added bonus that she knows some damn sexy moves on stage...moves that have multiple uses..." a glazed look crossed his eyes.
"Please" he said. "I really don't need to know what you and your wife do in your private time."
"Oh" Gerard looked faintly embarrassed. "Anyway, where were we?"
"You and Frank" replied his brother.
"Oh yeah...me and Frank. Well, you see Mikes; it's really nothing more than friendship."
"No!" Frank yelled. "Friendship isn't enough to describe it! It's." He paused at this and he and Gerard shared a look. "Brotherly affection!" they said at the same time.
"You...you call that brotherly affection?" he choked out. Gerard nodded, grinning.
"Yeah! So there's really nothing to worry about!" he announced, cheerily.
Mikey backed away from his brother, his eyes wide.
"No Gerard..." he said, weakly."There's a lot to worry about..."
Gerard and Frank gave him blank expressions. Mikey shuddered.
"Just...keep your 'brotherly affection' away from me. Otherwise I might just have to get a restraining order..."
Gerard blinked and then a knowing look crossed his face.
"Oh!" he said. "Oh I get it now. Geez Mikey, are you crazy! Ha! Like I'd ever do that to you - you're my real brother! I can't show you brotherly affection!"
"That makes no sense..."
"...Frank on the other hand isn't my real brother so I can show him brotherly affection. Get it?"
Mikey put a hand to his head.
"I don't understand anything coming out of your mouth right now...I think I'm getting a headache. Look why don't you and Frank go and make out somewhere while I lock myself in my bedroom and try to forget this conversation?"
"Not 'make out'!" Frank said, shaking his head wildly. "'Making out' is what couples do; what me and Jamia do.'Brotherly affection' involves light and gentle kisses to the lips or cheeks and no other body contact whatsoever."
"Alright. Okay. Well, you go do that" Mikey walked stiffly to the door and out of the room.
"Mikey?" Alicia asked in concern when she saw his expression.
"Alicia I'm going to go hide in our room until those two leave. I suggest you join me" he said, robotically.
"...Alright" she said, bewildered. "But Mikey, what's wrong?"
"Two words...brotherly affection."