Ginji wants, and waits. [Ban/Ginji]
Written for round four at fornicari, with the prompt:
whatever you want
i'll give it to you
i'll give it to you slowly
'till you're begging me to hold you
ya whatever you want
whatever you want
but you're gonna have to ask me -- "Drive," by Melissa Ferrick
Ginji isn't patient. He knows that life is short, and death is easy--and Ginji wants to to do, and feel, and live, everything, now. It makes him reckless, this want, and foolish; but Ginji can't stop from reaching towards what he wants with all of his strength.
Ginji wants: a full belly, to help people, good friends at his side.
He has Ban, more of Ban than anyone else (alive). He is Ban's partner, and Ginji has his friendship, and his trust, and the memory of the awesome intensity of his violence. It's not enough, because Ginji is greedy, and he knows that there is more to do, and feel, and know--and he needs Ban there with him for all of it.
Ginji's not stupid, and he knows Ban, and he knows that Ban wants, too. Ban's want is in his hands, and his eyes, and his voice--sometimes, Ginji thinks that Ban is made of want. Ban isn't very good at asking for what he wants, though--not when it's something important, not even when he knows that it's his for the taking.
I want this, too, Ginji says: leaning in towards Ban, hands on his face. I want you, need you, love you, and breathes against Ban's lips--they're close enough to kiss, could be kissing, should be kissing right now. Ban's hands twitch at his side, and his eyes close, and: they haven't kissed yet, aren't kissing now, won't kiss anytime soon.
Ginji doesn't understand, because Ban knows that life is short, and death is easy--and they are together, now, and maybe now is all they'll ever have. He wants to say: don't be stupid, Ban-chan, and close the gap between them.
Instead, Ginji waits for Ban to open his eyes. He waits for Ban to say yes.
(Ginji's not patient, but he can wait for Ban).