I bear more grudges than lonely high court judges.
*Depressing Chapter Alert.*
You have been warned.Just some kinda touchy-feely stuff here,and next chapter will probably be more action.
My friend Alicia says hi,and also says "don't get pregnant."
(We're watching Teen Mom,which,I have to say,is the best advertisement for condoms ever.)
Oh yes,and more anonymous emails.I dunno where you guys are getting my email but I guess it's just from the "contact" box on my profile.Anyway:
give 5 facts about yourself.
1.English is not my first language.I speak Irish in my house and with my family.Except when I'm with my friends,then I speak English,which I learned when I was four years old.
2.Despite being an avid rock fan and a punk,I think the singer Beyonce is fucking awesome.
3.I am ambidextrous.My right is a little better,but I am now simultaneously writing and typing at the moment.
4.My favorite comic book hero is Captain America.
5.I'm getting my second tattoo this summer.I already have one on my wrist,which reads paradise comes at a price that I am not willing to pay,which I got when I was sixteen.It's a lyric from Muse's Megalomania.My new one will be a Dia de la Muertos sleeve.
oh my god someone shut that baby up,
First of the Gang to Die
The More You Ignore Me,the Closer I Get
"Please,sir,we did eveything we could,but they tackled us to the ground,and I only came to when he was cutting Frank-"
"Obviously you did not do enough,Toro."
"Yes,sir.I am so sorry,sir."
"Was it him?de Luca?"
"Yes,sir.And two others I didn't recognize."
"Fine.Cancel the coalition tomorrow.I shall be spending the day here instead."
"Yes,sir.Should I leave now,sir?"
Frank quivered as he heard Gerard ascend the stairs.It was around nine at night,but in the January weather the darkness had fallen several hours ago.Since the attack,they had returned home,and Frank had been treated by a doctor.The wound was deep and jagged-the worst type of infliction possible from the knife.It hurt a lot,and the bruise enveloping Frank's eye was beginning to pound.Ever since coming home he had cried non stop,his knees pulled up to his chest;not gaudy,huge,enemy of mascara chest sobs but just water dribbling down his cheeks,falling into his lap.Ray and Bob had tried to comfort him but he just asked to be alone.
His train of thought was interrupted when the door opened.It was Gerard.He had returned home early when he heard about the assault.Even Bob had blushed when Gerard was on the telephone;the soft,deadly voice was spitting and swearing in such an abusive manner that all they could do was gulp and listen.
And now the anger was evident.Not just anger.Fury.Rage.Indignation.
"Don't be mad at them,"Frank had whispered,"it's not their fault."
Gerard didn't reply.He took off his jacket and threw it over the chair.
That's the worse type of anger.Silent,bottled up anger.
He was taking off his belt now,removing the weapons from pouches and bullets from chambers.He set them down on the table and continued to take off his tie,his waistcoat.He then turned slowly on his heels to face Frank.His lips were bright white and the vein on his neck was standing out.
He walked over to the bed and hitched up the creases of his trousers,and then moved to the middle of the bed,opposite to where Frank was sitting.His hands went to the boy's waist,working at his belt.Frank remembered what Alicia had told him previously about the gesture,and his wet cheeks flared as he felt Gerard tug and pull gently at his hips,until the weight fell from him totally.
"Gerard?"Frank's voice was high and cracked."Gee?Why aren't you talking?"
Gerard didn't answer,but now moved on to hold Frank's thin forearm in his grasp.He rolled up the sleeve gently,pushing the folds of his shirt up his arm,until he reached the thick,bulky bandage near the crook of his elbow.He unwound the peels of plaster,until he found sight of the horrible etching.
His jaw clenched when he saw it;it was red,and callow,and bloody.Thin veins of bloodshot skin trickled their way from the cut,and when he passed a finger over it,it pulsated and throbbed of it's own accord.It was white hot,and the hideous cardinal color burned into Gerard's memory.
Above him,Frank was whimpering as the wound was poked and prodded.Gerard realized he was hurting him and re bandaged the rip.When he finished he traced the edge if the black crescent circling his eye,his finger gathering tears.His hand slipped down to Frank's middle and he cupped his hip.
"I would understand if you're mad at me,"Gerard muttered,"I really would,baby."
"I'm not mad at you,"Frank replied meekly,toying with the hem of Gerard's shirt,"it was my fault.I...I deserved it."
Gerard's eyes flared with fire.He hands flew from his hip to Frank's cheeks,and he pressed his forehead to the boy's,staring intently into his hazel lamps.
"Don't you ever say that,"he seered,the boy shaking in his strong grip,"don't you ever fucking say something like that ever again.You are the most beautiful,valuable person in the world to me,and you would never deserve anything like that.And some fuck ripping you open and hitting you is not fucking happening.Do you understand that?"
Frank nodded,biting his lip,eyes brimming over with tears.Gerard sighed and furrowed his brow.
"I'm so sorry,sugar.I'm just angry at those goddamned fuckers."He pressed his lips to Frank's,relieved when the boy relaxed against him.He still sensed the tension and hesitation behind the kiss,so he pulled back fairly shortly afterward."Now I need you to tell me what happened today."
"Wuh-why?"More tears fell down.
"Because I need to kill them,"Gerard replied,"because they have committed a great sin against me."
"They duh-didn't kill m-me,though,"Frank hiccuped,"they just cuh-cut me."
"They put you through pain.And that may never heal,"he said,gesturing toward it."They will die.Now."He pulled Frank into his lap,the boy letting out a "oomph" of surprise."Tell me what happened."
Frank blinked,water slipping down his face.
"Don't be scared,sweetie,"Gerard soothed,"it's just me."
Frank knew he would never win.He'd have to tell him.
"Well...me and Bob and Ray were just at the tailor's...and ruh-Ray was trying something on..."Gerard nodded,his eyes wide with concern."We were arguing ab-about shades of bl-blue..."the memory came flooding back to him,and his voice caught in his throat.His vision was blurry with tears."And then they c-came and they suh-said y-y-you stole me and that they'd kuh-kill me when they get me buh-back..."
He erupted in sobs,burying his face in Gerard's shoulder,heaving,shuddering,spluttering.The older wrapped his arms around him and cooed in his ear.
"Oh,my poor baby,"he murmured,kissing his jaw briefly,"that will never happen,sweetie,I'll be with you twenty-four seven from now on."Frank hiccuped."Is that all that happened,sugar?When did he cut you?"
"He got the o-other men to hold Ray and Bob down,"he sniffed,"and then he got out his knife and cuh-cut me."
"That everything,honey?Did they leave after that?"
"Well...he duh-did say suh-something..."
"And what was that,sweetie?"He gave Frank a small,encouraging smile."Please,baby,it'll be over in a minute."
Frank shook his head."I duh-don't want to say it.It's ruh-rude."
"Rude?"The smile evaporated."In what way?"
Frank whimpered and sunk further into Gerard's lap,sucking on his lower lip,as he always did.
"I just-I don't want to,"he mumbled,"please don't make me say it."
"Sugar,honey,it's just me,you know I won't mind if you swear,"he attempted to chuckle."You know I do it all the damn time."
"It's not swearing."Frank was nearly crawling inside Gerard's lap at this point."It's just-"
"Baby,whisper it in my ear.That cunt said it,you didn't."
"He said..."Frank trailed off hopelessly,staring at his lover's belt buckle,"He said that I was his bitch now."
"And that...when he gets the chance..."he could feel the tears coming on again,rising in his throat,"he would...er..."he bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut,"fuck me senseless."
Gerard raised one eyebrow.He was wearing that poker face again;that mask of emotions that hid him from the outside world,that made his enemies and allies alike tremble with fear.
"He said that?"He muttered."He had the fucking audacity and fucking nerve to say that?"
Frank squeaked.Evidently so.
"Well,Frank,I am saying now with all the honesty and clarity and sincerity that the only person who is ever allowed to even fucking imply engaging in sexual intercourse with you is me, and fucking God I will phrase it a lot better."He exhaled and ran a hand through Frank's hair.
"Oh,sweetie,I'm sorry,I just wanted to know what they did to you."He rocked him in his arms,sighing."But you know what I'm gonna ask you next,don't you?"
"No..."He looked up at Gerard through his lashes."What?"
Gerard,for one of the first times in his life,looked awkward.He frowned.
"I...I never thought I'd say this...but I think it might do you good."He inhaled deeply."It's...uh,my job...to...ah,inaugurate you,if you like,but I have to ask first.I've been thinking about it for a little while but I guess this would make it official."
"Wuh-what?"Frank's lip was quivering,the perpetrator for his lisp.
Gerard cleared his throat and brushed his lips to Frank's cheek.
"If you'd...ah...join the feud."
"The fa-yood?"Frank blinked."What's that?"
Gerard's heart nearly broke his ribs.
"The fight,sugar."The boy's eyes widened."I want you to join the gang."
That caught Frank off guard-he had never even considered being involved in the contention,it was out of the question.He was too weak.He was too small,too insignificant,too fragile,too jumpy.He didn't know how to handle a gun,or a knife;he never got the references Gerard or the other members made,he started crying when he had heard the final shrieks and screams of Michael Way.He hated the sight of blood,and the sight of any internal organs would surely make him vomit.
He couldn't.He wouldn't.
"Oh,Gerard,I can't,"Frank was back to eating his lip again,"I'd be so shit,I'm the biggest wimp-"
"Aw,sugar,you just need some practice,that's all.You need to know three basic things to be a good killer;"he held out three fingers before the boy,"which is how to shoot,how to run and how to scare the fuck outta people."
One section of Frank's mind was weakening-it would be like an arcade game,like those black and white movies.It was fun,reckless,a sexy form of anarchy.
But the rabbit-like instinct in Frank was terrified.It was also lethal,fatal a sure ticket to incarceration.
"But-it's so dangerous."He searched Gerard's lightning eyes for reassurance,but found none."And I can't scare someone for anything-"
"Sure you can,everyone can."He smiled."C'mon,try to insult me."
"Gerard,I don't want to hurt your-"
"Oh,Frank,really now,my ego will survive."He entwined his fingers with the boy's."C'mon.Think of something that you really hate about me."
"But I don't hate anything about you.I...I think you're perfect."
"Aw,baby,"Gerard cooed into his ear."That's so sweet.But come now,think of something that'll scare me,that'll piss me off."
"I don't think I'd like to piss you off,"Frank stammered,the older chuckling."I don't think I could scare you."
"Fine,I'll scare you,"Gerard smirked,pulling the kid into his chest."Wrap your legs around my waist."
"And your arms around my neck."
"Good.Now."His tone`darkened."Do you trust me,baby?"
"You trust me while you're in my arms,with your pretty little neck right in front of my teeth?While you are completely submissive to me,utterly defenseless?I'm stronger than you,taller than you,heavier than you.You still trust me?"
He was more uncertain now.
"You don't think I'll attack you?Rape you?My gun's right over there,Frank,"he ran his nose down the boy's neck,"shoots six rounds a second.That could pump you full of lead in a millisecond."
Frank whimpered while Gerard's grip on him tightened.
"I can hear your little heart beating,sugar,"the toxic whisper continued,"it's so fast.You're not...scared,are you?"
"I-uh-no,"Frank squeaked,tugging at Gerard's collar."It's warm in here...I'm just hot."
"I'll say so,"Gerard sucked at his neck."You know I can hear your blood pumping around in your veins,your arteries...gushing through tubes...I could stop that all with a fist,baby."He came nose-to-nose with the boy,who was still clinging desperately to Gerard's neck."All I have to do is squeeze."
"Look at you,"Gerard murmured,suckling on Frank's overused lip,"so weak...frightened...delicate...and soft.I could break you with one arm behind my back."Frank looked on in frozen terror as Gerard reached behind him,and suddenly a hollow hole encircled the beck of his head.
"Kiss me,"he ordered blankly."Kiss me or I'll blow your fucking head off."
Frank instantly crashed his lips to Gerard's,meshing their mouths together.
"Moan for me,"was the next command."Moan like the fucking cheap whore you are."
Jesus I meant this to be violent now its just smut
Frank let out a shaky moan into Gerard's mouth,before wondering:
"Is the suh-safety on?"
"No,"Gerard growled,licking Frank's bottom teeth,"hear that?"He rolled the revolver,and it wheezed."That's fucking Russian Roulette shit,like,legit."
"Oh my God,your innocence actually kills me,"Gerard groaned,before jerking his lips apart.Now he dug the barrel into Frank's jaw."Now.Beg me not to kill you."
"What?"His eyes expanded again,shimmering bright russet.
"Beg.Me.Not.To kill you.Or I will."
Frank bit down-
"And stop that."Gerard pulled his lip down to his chin."Stop fucking doing that,it's too fucking cute.Now.Beg."
"Please don't kill me,Gerard,please no!I'll do anything!I don't want to die!I love you so much,please just listen to me-"
Gerard laughed and threw the gun on the bed,enveloping Frank in his arms.
"See,baby,it's easy to be scary.Especially with you."He hitched Frank up again,the boy still sweating from the ordeal."What'sa matter,honey?Did you actually think I'd kill you?"
"So...freaky..."Frank mumbled."The way you spoke...the words you used..."
"I know,great,aren't I,"sighed Gerard."But back to the point...it would be good,Frank.For your protection.So that you might be a little more handy with weaponry.You could turn out to be a great gangster."
"As good as you?"
"Well,no one is really as good as me,"he admitted,"but it would also send out a sign to the Romano's.That you truly are...in this family."
"If I do...will you...teach me?"
"Of course.Will you?"
Frank bit his lip again and gazed at Gerard.This decision would affect his whole life,he would become a criminal,an outlaw,a bandit.He could die next week.
"Yes,"he answered quietly.
"Then hold on here,"Gerard instructed,kissing him quickly and then hobbling over to a bedside drawer,grabbing a gun and the Bible,and then returning to the bed.
So I'm watching SVU,and oh dear Lord Munch is just so awesome.He just...I love him.
"You gotta make a pledge,"he muttered,laying the gun flat on it's side onto the Book,"now put your hand on it."
Frank did so.
"Just repeat after me,sweetie."
"I swear to be faithful to la Cosa Nostra. Should I betray, my flesh will burn."
Next chapter:Gangsta training XD awww yeaaah