The title will make sense if you read the chapter, I promise. Last Chapter.
Spencer went up to his bedroom and threw his backpack at the wall, causing some posters to fall to the floor. Jon was still asleep on his pillow, and Spencer wished for nothing more than to be a cat. He envied Jon's easy life, free of sadness and heartbreak.
The tears had been flowing for a while now, and Spencer trudged over to his bathroom to get some toilet paper so his pillow wouldn't get completely soaked when he buried his face in it.
Wiping some tears out of his eyes, Spencer noticed his broken razor on the counter. Ryan had stepped on it with those stupid Italian loafers, and the blade had completely fallen out.
Spencer cautiously picked up the piece of metal, lightly running his thumb over the sharp edge.
Wasn't cutting supposed to make you feel better? It was like... a coping method or something. Albeit not a very healthy coping method, but still.
It was worth a try, right?
Spencer turned his arm over so that he was looking at the soft, vulnerable underside of his forearm. He made an experimental cut in about halfway up his arm. Not too deep, but deep enough.
He made another cut slightly above the first.
Well. Maybe that didn't feel so bad after all.
Just one more. Then he'd stop.
Shit, that shouldn't have felt so good, but...
Another one wouldn't kill him, right?
And maybe another.
Just a couple more.
Spencer closed his eyes and felt the blood drip down his arm. He grabbed some toilet paper in his shaking hands and mopped up the blood, flushing the soaked fabric down the toilet.
He didn't bother putting bandages on, he just left the bathroom and stumbled into bed, burrowing himself into the covers. He felt weak and drained from the loss of blood.
Jon bounced over to him, batted at his arm softly and began licking at the cuts on Spencer's arm.
"No, Jonny stop, that stings."
Spencer carefully picked up Jon and placed the tiny kitten in the hollow of his neck. Jon looked up at him disapprovingly for a second, but snuggled into Spencer's neck nonetheless. It only took a few minutes for Spencer to fall asleep, into a world of nightmares.
Spencer vaguely remembered his mom coming home from work, pressing her hand to his forehead and sticking a thermometer in his mouth. He remembered tucking his arm under the covers to hide the cuts, and his mom's anxious face when his temperature was normal. She kissed his sweaty forehead and tucked the blankets up to his chin, quietly turning out the light, closing the door, and going downstairs.
He hears her talking to someone on the phone downstairs, and dozes off.
When Spencer wakes up again it's almost five o'clock at night. His head hurts, and his heart hurts even more, so he goes into his bathroom and slices open a few new cuts on his arm. He's in the middle of a particularly deep one when his cell phone vibrates.
"Mom called me a little while ago, she said you were acting weird. What's up?"
Spencer sighed and put the razor back on the counter. The tears started to fall again.
"Nothing, I'm fine." He mumbled.
"Spencer. Tell me."
Spencer dug the razor into the heel of his hand to stop himself from going into hysterics.
"Brendon... doesn't love me anymore."
"Ryan, he told me to my face that he doesn't love me."
Spencer heard Ryan angrily slam his new issue of Teen Vogue down on the other end of the line.
"Well then tell him that he's wrong!"
"I tried! He says that I was just a phase!"
Ryan was silent for a minute.
"I have to go Spence. I'll talk to you later."
"Love you too?"
Ryan hung up, and Spencer was left to blink down at his phone confusedly.
A wave of dizziness overtook him, and he quickly collapsed back into bed, not even bothering to hide his wounded arm in the sheets as he passed out.
*Seven hours of Spencer being knocked the fuck out passes.*
Spencer groggily opened his eyes at the sensation of being hopelessly trapped in a bear-hug. Something wet was running down his neck, and a warm head with fluffy hair rested on his shoulder.
The head also seemed to have a body attached to it. Spencer couldn't see it in the darkness, but it was warm and comfortably soft against his chest. Spencer sighed contently and leaned his head on the stranger's shoulder. He loved hugs too much to object, and was too sleepy to move much anyways.
The stranger must have realized that he was awake, because he pulled back to look at Spencer's face.
They stared at each other for a minute, Spencer in shock, Brendon in guilt.
"Hi." Brendon said gently.
"I know nothing I say right now can fix what I said earlier, but you just need to know that I didn't mean it. I love you."
Spencer blinked again.
Brendon sighed and ran his fingers through his own dark hair.
"This is going to be harder than I thought. Look, Spencer, I don't even know what happened to me. The last thing I remember was arriving at camp, and then my memory just goes blank until tonight. I mean, I remember what I said and stuff, but I didn't mean to say it. Does that make sense? I don't think it does, but the important thing here is that I love you and you must never ever ever ever ever ever cut yourself again or I'll make you live in a plastic bubble for the rest of your life."
Brendon huffed in frustration and grabbed Spencer's face, pressing their lips together.
Spencer tasted strawberries.
After a few seconds, Brendon pulled back, staring into Spencer's watering eyes anxiously.
Finally regaining his voice, Spencer said, in a choked-up voice, "Don't you ever scare me like that again. You're never ever going back to that camp while I'm still breathing."
Brendon nodded, breathed out a happy sigh of relief and tackled Spencer back to the bed, snuggling in as close as possible to Spencer's chest and throwing the blankets over both of them.
Jon mewed at the movement and Brendon looked up, wide-eyed.
Jon jumped up onto Spencer's chest, where Brendon's head was laying, and licked at Brendon's lips, undoubtedly loving the strawberry flavor. Brendon giggled, and Spencer gently poked Jon's side.
"No Jon. That's my boyfriend. Mine."
The kitten scowled and nuzzled into the pillow next to Spencer's head while Brendon leaned up to press kisses to Spencer's jaw.
"How did you... get back to normal?"
Brendon propped his head up on his hands, putting one elbow on each side of Spencer's head.
"Well, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood at like.... 10:30 pm? Yeah, not the best idea. Anyways, I was walking around and some freak in pinstripe pants and a vest ran at me, brandishing a shoe! He made a fucking war-cry and chased me for a couple of blocks, and right when I thought I lost him, he jumped out of a bush and hit me over the head with his Italian loafer. I passed out and when I woke back up, I remembered everything and I was in your front lawn. Creepy huh?"
Spencer burst out laughing while Brendon looked at him disapprovingly.
"I'm sorry Bren, it's just, you have to admit, that is kind of funny."
Brendon tried to keep a straight face, but ended up giggling into Spencer's shoulder.
Spencer leaned down and kissed Brendon softly. It would take a lot to keep this relationship going, but Spencer was willing to do whatever it takes.
"I love you B."
"Love you too Spencer. Forever and always."
Before long, two boys and a kitten were deeply asleep. So deeply asleep, in fact, that the vibrating of Spencer's phone didn't wake them up.
I didn't kill him did I?
Aw!!! It's over! I might do a spin-off of Ryan's adventures on his 'artist's retreat'. Idk. Would you guys want to read that?
Read and Review, or Ryan will chase you with his Italian loafers!