“P…please, don’t. Don’t say it.” “You’re Gerard Way.”
“it…it wasn`t?” my voice shakes as I speak, though for some reason not out of fear. If what I was thinking was true, I had every reason to be frightened, but I wasn’t. The room is silent, neither of us speak, I don’t realise I am holding my breath until Gee shakes his head slowly, never making eye contact with me. I wished he would look me in the eyes, his were beautiful. A deep hazel green colour, that I was sure would be very kind and full of warmth if they weren’t glistening with tears.
“N…no.” so it wasn’t a double suicide like it had been ruled, the Way brothers, Gerard and Michel hadn’t killed themselves. Then how did they die? Could the things I was thinking about Gee be true? I take a deep, calming breath, though it doesn’t do any good, and open my mouth again to speak, searching desperately for the right words.
“And…erm, how do you…know this?” wow, I really was gifted with the English language. “The deaths were ruled as a double suicide.” They were, and barely anyone believed that, well, no one believed that Michel, or Mikey, the younger of the two if I remember rightly, would have done that. Rumours spread all over town, many questions were left unanswered, and few people thought Mikey had committed suicide. However, no one appeared to be shocked, not even the parents of the two brothers, that Gerard was dead.
Silence. “How do you know, Gee?” Gee stands and rushes over to the window, opens it and leans out, breathing deeply, tears faking heavily down his face. I sit the on the bed, wanting to approach him, yet not wanting to spook him or make him angry. I was ninety nine percent sure I knew who he was, and what he was, but for some reason I was still unable to feel anything that resembled fear. I felt for the boy, he was broken, mentally and physically.
“I…I…know….b…because…” he sobs, but I barely understand what he is saying. His bloody shoulders rise up and down in time with each sob, I want so badly to help him, but I don’t know if I can.
“You were-are, one of them, aren’t you, Gee?” no answer unless you counted the loud, broken cries he was making. By now I was already sure of the answer; all of the evidence was there. “You`re one of the Way brothers, aren`t you?” he turns away from the window, wipes his hand across his tearstained face, probably trying to dry the tears, and shakes his head. it doesn’t seem like a negative answer though, it seems more of an “I can’t believe it, please don`t” kind of shake of the head.
“P…please, don’t. don’t say it.” Gee-Gerard pleads with me, new tears threatening to fall.
“you’re Gerard Way.” I had no clue where my sudden confidence came from, I wasn’t what you could call shy, but I wasn’t that outgoing and rarely spoke to people, especially in a confident way I was now.
“I can’t believe it.” I mutter to myself, to realising I had spoken aloud. It wasn’t that I couldn’t believe it was him, someone who was supposed to be dead, it was that I couldn’t see how I hadn’t noticed it before. Who else had that eye colour, the same thick, ebony hair, the pale skin tone? True, his hair had grown out now to just above his shoulders, hanging messily and matted with blood. Maybe I had noticed I just didn’t want to believe it.
“I…I`m sorry…Frankie.” He begins to cry again, not making any noise this time. That was worse than normal tears, knowing he was in so much pain that there was no sound capable or showing how badly it hurt.
“gee?” I don`t know why I use the name he had given me, know that I know his true identity. I hesitantly walk over to him, and even more hesitantly, wrap an arm around his bony, bloodied shoulder. Gerard freezes, before gently shoving it off; I wonder if he knew how much the rejection stung? Though why it did I had no idea. I barely knew him; I should be running away from him screaming, after all he was supposed to be dead.
“I suppose you’re wondering how I`m here, eh?” I nod, though I was fairly sure of this as well.
“I…. I didn’t know, not at first anyway.” He says through tears. “I did and went to this place I never thought I`d get. I had my wings and they were ripped off and I fell and ended up back here on Earth.” He never believed he would get to Heaven? I frown. I wasn’t sure if I believed in all that holy stuff, but why did he doubt he would get there?
“So your…one of the fallen?” Fallen Angels were actually mentioned in the bible, it was really the only part of it I remember all that well, the only part I stayed awake whilst reading. They were evil beings, or they were supposed to be, they fell with Lucifer, and burned eternally in hell afterwards. But Gee- I couldn’t stop calling him that, didn’t seen evil, he seemed broken. I couldn’t turn my back on him, not after promising to help him.
“And did Michel…fall?”
“HA! The perfect son?! Never.” He scoffs, anger radiating out of his weak body.
“T…they didn’t think he did it, Frankie. None was surprised I had though…I had a …history.” Another single tear slides down his pale, battered cheek.
At first I am unsure what Gerard is talking about, then I realise he must be talking about the supposed suicides. I was desperate to know what really happened to them, but Gee was still hurt and clearly angry at the mentioning of his brother so I kept quiet. After a while Gerard walks over to the bed, sheepishly, and asks quietly if he could sit with me. I move over, creating room for him and he perches on the edge, barely sitting on it at all.
“Silly, you can sit properly.” I smile at him and sit up, grabbing a coke bottle that was half empty of the bedside table.
“Want some?” I offer it to Gee, and he smiles shyly, taking a sip.
“Food?” he shakes his head. I didn’t know if fallen angels had to eat, but if he drank it meant they probably did. I wasn’t going to push him though.
“ow.” He hisses as he inspects his left arm.
“I have painkillers if it hurts.” Gerard sighs and shakes his head, ebony hair falling into his face.
“I don’t trust my-take painkillers. They make me feel ill.” I nod, understanding, feeling even sorrier for the boy who was only slightly older than me. he hadn’t had a good life, so it seemed. And now even his death had been ruined, he was cast down from heaven, to suffer on Earth once more.
“Frankie…why are you helping me? aren’t you afraid?”
“No, I trust you. And I want to help, I don’t really know why.” I bite my lip, chewing on it nervously, playing with the ring that went through it. Mother hadn’t approved of it; I had received a huge lecture from her when she first saw it. I smile at the memory of how red her face had gotten.
“My mother doesn’t approve of a lot of things.” I explain briefly, there was too many to name.
“oh.” Gerard said. “I know how that feels.”
“Sucks, don’t it?” I say, yawning widely, suddenly remembering the time and that I had school tomorrow, well, today. If four hours in fact.
“Gee, can you get up for a second?” I ask, wanting to lie down and try and sleep.
“Sure.” He hurries to his feet. “I can go.”
“Like hell. you’re staying. “I pause. “do angels need to sleep?” I ask, unsure.
“I’m not an angel.” He smiles sadly, and points to his back.
I shake my head. “you are don’t know what made me say it, but I`m sure I see him blush slightly. Odd.
I move over, creating some room for Gerard to get in, not really understanding why the thought of sharing my bed with him made me blush. I was only being kind.
“I can sleep on the floor.” He mutters lamely.
He rolls his eyes and sighs once, before kicking off his bloody and muddy shoes and slides in beside me, making sure to stay as far away as possible from me.
“Night Frankie.” I smile; I loved the little nickname he had given me.