Sleeping is difficult when something...or someone is on your mind
" God, did you run to answer the door or what?"
Oh no dad, I was just leaning against the door for ten minutes remembering a boy with beautiful eyes smiling at me... " no, I was....uh...just going to take the dog for a walk around the block.."
" oh, right. Good girl Tash" he patted me on the head and went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, his usual routine. I shoved in my ever-reliable earphones and selected Hysteria by Muse. Music was what I needed right now. I needed to stop thinking about him.
" Gemma! Come on, walkies!"
The evening managed to go smoothly, meaning I managed not to have a row with either my mum or my dad. Eventually, at ten I decided I was exhausted and sloped off to bed.
Too many thoughts were swimming around my head, would he still hang round with me tomorrow? Would he get bored of me and go off with one of the popular boys? No, surely not. And what did he mean about finding me more interesting and more mature? I fell into bed, too tired to stay awake any longer. I turned off the lamp, but still lay awake. Why was I like this? I should be grateful Gerard wanted to be friends with me. We understood each other. But I always got way too attached, way too quickly. He was the only thing I could think about as I lay there, staring at my white ceiling, but he wouldn't be thinking about me, he wouldn't feel the same way as I did. I was just...me.