Part of me wishes that the world will end tonight.
I pushed the hair out of your face with a shaky hand, trying to keep it steady as I cleared your face of the light brown mop of hair that stayed on your head. I closed my eyes, collapsing into the chair by your bed. I took your cold hand in mine, wishing you were awake. Or that I had at least done something sooner.
"He's going to be fine Brendon." Spencer said as he pulled up a chair next to me.
"Spencer, you and I both know that he's not going to be all right." My voice was shaky, showing just how scared I truly was. "You know what the doctors said just as well as I do. He's not going to get better, and it's all my fault." I was crying, Spencer holding onto me. I refused to let go of your hand. Not until you woke up. I wasn't going to let go until you woke up.
"It's not your fault Brendon." I buried my face in the sheets by your pillow, allowing Jon to talk as I stayed as close to you as I could.
"He's right, it never was your fault. He's the one that left you." I blocked Spencer out, focusing on the faint beat of your heart.
Part of me wishes that the world will end tonight. That everything will go black, and it will just be you and me. We can both be healthy and happy. But then there's the other part of me, the one that knows how ridiculous half of me is. It's the sane part. The half that knows the world will keep on spinning, rather than ending.
My only wish is that if the world does end tonight, is that if there's an afterlife you'll chose to spend it with me.
And if the world keeps on spinning, my only wish is to have you wake up.
Please wake up.
"Well if you KNEW he was on this destructive path then why didn't you stop him?" Spencer was screaming. Well, he was whisper screaming.
"I already told you, there was nothing I COULD do. He wouldn't listen to me Spence, the only person he ever listens to is Brendon!" Jon whispered back as he tried to reason with an angry Spencer.
"Jon, you're his BEST FRIEND, you don't think you could have stopped him? He would have listened to you. I know that for a fact. In case you don't remember, I used to be his best friend."
"In case you haven't noticed, he's changed. He's a completely different person from what he used to be. They both are."
"Jon, what if their right? What if he never wakes up?"
"That's not the thing we have to worry about. I'm more afraid that he will wake up, and then will make a bad decision."
"He'll wake up. I know it." I mumbled as I buried my face in the crook of your neck, allowing me to feel the steady yet faint beat of the blood pulsing through your veins.
"Brendon, how long have you been up?" Spencer asked cautiously.
"The whole time. Do you honestly think I can sleep?" Jon walked over to me, gently placing his hand on my shoulder.
"It's been three days Brendon, don't you think you should go home and get some sleep?" I shook my head, looking up at him with one eye.
"I'm not leaving his side. Not until he wakes up." I closed both of my eyes. "He has to wake up."
"We're going to go get you food, okay? If you're not going to take care of yourself, then the least we can do is try and take care of you a little." Spencer said as he walked over to the door.
"All right. Have fun." I mumbled. I heard Spencer sigh, the sound of Jon's footsteps echoing before the door closed. I bit my bottom lip, listening for your breathing, wishing you would move, twitch, have a glitch in your steady heartbeat, something to tell me you were still there. My thumb ran over your hand, my head swimming with the thoughts of what was going to happen next.
I could only hope for the best.
"Please wake up Ryan."
Just wake up.
AnotherKnifeInMyHand:I agree. They always seem simple. There's so many ways something can go wrong, where there's only a few ways for them to end well.
alligatorpie:I'm glad you like it.
They have been getting on my nerves, after all, I get that type of shit outside of the internet on a day-to-day basis, but I figure if I just ignore whoever it is, that they'll go away. At least, that's what I'm hoping.
RydenBeliever:I go as fast as I can. The only real problem is that I like to write different things when I'm in the mood for it, and that's why I have so many unfinished stories. But to make up for it, I'll try to update sooner.
reinventlove152:I hope this chapter gave some form of information as to whats going on. If not, the next one will explain it at length. Anyway, I'm glad you love it.
PartyPoison:Happy ending, pffft, whatever. Marvelous, now that's a word I haven't heard used to describe one of my stories.