Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Killjoy Academy

7: Tell Me Where We Go From Here.

by GotSparkle 1 Reviews

“I really hope you don’t die.”

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Humor - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2011/08/08 - Updated: 2011/08/08 - 5829 words

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(Sun’s POV)

“You can’t be. My sister died a long time ago. I saw her get dragged away by the BLI guys. I was there.”

“No, what you saw was us getting dragged away. You were 16. I was 11, almost 12. I fought my way out.” The girl in front of me says. “Juliet, you can’t pretend you don’t know me. You won’t let yourself remember, you haven’t forgotten. There’s a difference.”

Only my family called me Juliet. I’d lied when I told Party Poison my real name was Scarlet Winterson. It was actually Juliet Scarlet Winterson. I’d given my middle name, another way of protecting all of us. “You can’t be my sister. My sister had blue eyes, like mine.” I tell Dancing Spark, refusing to believe. She turns around; her hand goes to her face.

“Contacts sissy.” She says. The word sissy send’s me rushing back to when I was in my childhood. I may be only 19, but I didn’t consider myself a child. Children don’t get pregnant.

“No. I still don’t believe it.” I say, more to myself than her. She releases the pendant. A golden peacock, sitting the opposite way mine was, hung from her chain. “Im-friggin-possible.” I say, sitting on my bed. She sits down next to me, and we turn to face each other. “Not true. This isn’t happening.”

“It is.” She reaches out for my pendant. My necklace is slipped over my head and Dancing Spark quickly holds her pendant and mine together. She quickly clicks them together. “See?” I can’t even reply, looking at the two necklaces.

“Mommy always reminded me, after you left us, that only one person in the world had the matching fit. I didn’t even remember where you said you were going.”

“I just said I was leaving, and to remember that I loved you,” I start to say the familiar phrase. If she could finish it, she was my sister.

“Forever and a day, until the sun doesn’t shine.” Spark finishes for me, and starts crying. “We thought you were dead!” I throw my arms around my sister, hugging her to me.

“How you been Ash?” I ask her, rubbing her hair. “How are Mom and Dad?”

“Dad’s fine. Working at BLI still. He said he thought he saw you one day, on a trip into the research lab. He was so sure it was you. Said he saw you’re hair, but that you were so skinny and sad looking. We were so scared.” She tells me, still crying a bit. “We missed you so much.”

“I missed you to sweetie. Every single day. Look at you, you’re fourteen now.” I hold her ut again, looking her up and down. She looked how I did at fourteen, maybe a bit shorter, and her eyes were bigger, her hair a different shade of blonde, more curl to it.

“Fifteen in a few days.” She says proudly.

“Tell me what I’ve missed.” I say to her, hugging her tighter to me. We eventually release from our hug.

“I made it through middle school, but just barely. When Mom and Dad moved, I packed up my important stuff, like I had for weeks. When we stopped to refuel, I grabbed my bag and my necklace and ran while they were buying food. Just got out of the car and ran.”

“Just like I did, with the packing. I remember I spent weeks putting my bag together.”

“I wondered if you were gone for a sleepover at your friends house when you left at first, but then I found this.” She says, handing me something from her pocket. It was an old locket, shaped like a star. She hand’s it to me, and I open it carefully, pressing the round rhinestone in the center of it to pop it open.

“It’s the locket you gave me for my birthday, when you came to visit me after you ran away the first time. I found a letter in it, from you, to me.” She explains, and I sniffle at the memory of writing it, laboriously folding it into a shape that it would fit in the locket.

“I’ll read it later.” I say, returning the locket to her. She slips it on. “I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I just didn’t want to run the risk of you getting killed.” I tell her, hugging her again.

“Why’d you come back?” She asks me. “You made it harder on me. Just showing up in my window that night.”

“I came back because I missed you so much, and there was going to be an attack soon. I wanted to tell you goodbye. You were the person I wanted to tell goodbye. Just in case I didn’t make it out alive. I needed to let you know I loved you.” I tell her, remembering how I’d easily popped open her window, slid into the room, and woken her. She’d been startled at first, probably because I was in full KillJoy dress. My mask was on, like it always was when I went to go see people from my past. That was my mistake, the mask. She had almost screamed, until I whipped it off, throwing it to the ground.

“Well, you just made me want to leave. And so I did. At thirteen, like I told you. I’d been secretly packing for weeks. I have my mask and everything. Then, right before we decided to move, the Dracs swooped into Battery City, started raiding houses for people on the Exterminate list. Apparently, you’d just cracked the top twenty, because of your escape from their experimentation labs. You’d been on the transmissions. They searched our house, and they dragged us all out, trying to scare us into telling them where you were.” She recounts.

I remember this. I’d actually received a tip from Defying that a girl that looked like me, with a peacock necklace like mine, but in gold, had been spotted around the Zones. I wanted to go and collect my sister, make her come with me. I’d even added civilian clothes underneath my usual ensemble to try to give myself a way to blend if I needed to. Looking back, I remember wandering the streets, and then hearing the screams. There was fire everywhere, people screaming and running around in the panic the Dracs were causing. White vans and black sedans were everywhere, people in suits jumping out of cars like ants pouring from a hill doused with bug killer.

“I thought I saw you, when two Dracs were pulling me out of my room. I tried to scream your name, but you were gone in a flash.” She whispers. I pat her hair again, smoothing it down like I used to when we were little kids. I remember standing in a panicked crowd, staying perfectly still when I saw the little blonde girl being dragged from my old house. I was terrified, to scared to move. By the time I overcame my fear, I saw her being shoved to her knees, and something that looked like a ray gun go to her head. I heard the blast, saw the light go. Saw my sister fall, onto her stomach.

“I saw you fall, heard the gun go off.” I tell her, and she shakes her head.

“Stun gun. Made to look like an actual gun. I woke up in a hospital bed, being told they were sorry for the inconvience, but that we were to immediately relocate to a different part of the city.” She explains. I nod my head, sobbing more. I stop, knowing this wasn’t good for the baby probably. “Is there something you want to tell me?” she asks, giving me a pointed look to where my hand rests, and something on the floor. “Why is there a pregnancy test on the floor?” she asks, looking confused. “Is Violet pregnant? Or one of the other girls here?” She asks, and I shake my head. She looks puzzled.

“You’re gonna be an auntie in about 9 months.” I tell her, and she squees happily.

“Are you serious?!?!?” She asks, sounding excited. I nod a yes. “Awesome! Oh my gosh! Do you want a boy?”

“Ash, I’m not sure if it’ll make it. I’ve had problems before, lost a baby before.” I tell her. She was my sister. Was I supposed to lie to her? “I’d love a baby girl though. I think if I had the choice, I’d have a girl.”

“What would you name her?” My sister asks me, sounding excited. “I mean, if it’s a girl.”

“I dunno. Something pretty. I’ve always loved the name Lily. Maybe Zoe or Ella. I think I like Ella.” I tell her, and she nods.

“Who’s the daddy?” She asks me, and I fall silent. “Do you not know?!?!?” She gasps.

“No, it’s fine darling. I do know the father. I’m not a skank.” Laugh the words out to her, heart panging at the remembrance of Party Poisons’ insults earlier today. He hadn’t meant them, I tell myself.

She bounces a bit. “Who is it? Is it Ghoul?”

Another chuckle from me. “No darling, it’s Party Poison.” She giggles.

“Oh!” she looks excited, and I put a hand back on my abdomen. I knew I wasn’t going to feel anything, but it was just reassuring. “You two will have beautiful little black haired babies together.”

“Far as I know, that’s singular. Baby, not babies.” I say. “That’d be great…imagine having twins around here.” The thought of one baby scared me half to death, and the merest mention of two made me want to pee my pants.

“God….twins….that’d be insane. When are you gonna tell him?” She asks me. I shrug. “You do have to tell him within the first three months you know.”

“No I don’t. I could leave; say it was some personal stuff, and come back once the baby was born and about two months old. No big deal.” I said, knowing this wasn’t an option. “Tell everybody that it was a relative that I’d had to adopt. Or something.”

“No, you wouldn’t be able to stay away from the Academy that long. The baby would end up with some of Party Poison’s features anyways.” She states simply. “You’d miss teaching too much. Besides, Defying won’t have enough stuff to take care of you.” She hypothesizes. “I mean, him being in a wheelchair and all.”

I nod my understanding of her point. “He’s actually pretty helpful. We had a student a year and a half ago, who ended up pregnant, and she went to him. She miscarried, but became an excellent fighter here. Death Defying took care of her.”

She smiles at me, eyes all hopeful. “Well, you should tell Party now. I think we should tell him about us being sisters too.”

“Maybe to the first, heck no to the second. He’ll think I’ll coddle you to death if he knows we’re related.”

“Weren’t you gonna do that in the first place?” She looks confused. “I mean, you pay me special attention.”

“Because you’re the youngest we have. Well, you’re about to be second youngest. Gosh, I can’t believe you’re gonna be fifteen.”

“Yeah, fifteen and never even kissed. And my sister’s already pregnant. I feel very under experienced.” She huffs loudly. I lean back on my two pillows, and she sits next to me, laying her head on my shoulder. She used to do this when she had nightmares as a child, and it’s oddly comforting.

“You’ve never been kissed?” I ask her, in shock. “And you’re my sister?”

“What?” She looks confused still. “When’d you get yours?”

“Around thirteen honey.” I tell her, and she widens her eyes, I can feel it on my shoulder.

“Whoa. Well, I still feel under experienced, you being pregnant and all.”

“Honey, you don’t need to go out and have sex because you think you need to get experience. I didn’t have it at all until l was about…. Eighteen I’d say.”

“Aw! Was it perfect?” She asks in that starry eyed tone all girls get when they think about anything slightly romantic.

“No, it hurt like the dickens. But, I was in love, so I guess that’s what mattered.” I sigh, remembering the night. “Wait until you’re married.” I instruct, true to my big sister duties. She giggles.

“Yeah, whatever Ms. Preggers.” She says to me, and I roll my eyes at her.” I don’t see a ring on that finger.” She inspects my left hand, and it makes me giggle like a pot head. “I missed you.” She said, and I sigh.

“I missed you too sweetie. More than you’ll ever understand. I only left because I needed to get out so I could fight BL/ND, that way you could grow up and be whoever you wanted.” I tell her a half truth. It was partially that, and partially so I could be my own person, sing, dance, laugh, write, read. Not be stuck getting married off, having a few kids, and being a housewife. That wasn’t what I wanted in life.

“I wrote you all these letters.” She says, pulling a folder from her jacket. “I used to write to you a lot, just in case you still missed me.” She hands the folder to me.

“I’ll read them later. Will it catch me up on what I’ve missed?” I ask.

Spark nods eagerly. “I knew you were my sister, the second I saw you. I had this automatic bond to you, and I think that’s how I found this place.” She explains the whole story to me, of how she found the Academy, got going. It was actually pretty action packed for a three hour story. “I’m glad you believe me. Cause it’s the truth.” She says after the story leads up to where we are right now.

“I can’t deny my family. Gosh, I miss Mom and Dad so much. I wonder where they are, how they’re doing.” I murmur, more to myself than to her.

“Have you been eating enough? I mean, you’re eating for two now.” She sits up, back against my wall. I shake my head at her, and break down sobbing.

“I haven’t eaten more than a protein bar in the past four days.” I sob to her. Sorry poor bitty baby in my tummy, I say to the little thing inside me. I’m going to call it her for now. Sorry girl, I say, I promise to eat, so you can grow and be strong and healthy. And no more alcohol, I’ll go off my ADD meds, just in case those hurt you too.

“You need to eat. Now.” She says, pulling me off my bed and to my door. I’m being dragged out before I know what’s happening. She drags me all the way down the line of Block’s….until we hit what she’s searching for.

“No.” I say.

“Go in there, and get food. You need to keep baby Ella healthy. That means eating.” Spark instructs me, and I sigh. She was tenacious, just like our mother and I. “Go in.” She drags me another Block down.

Block Foxtrot.

(Poison’s POV)

A knock on my door. Must be Jet Star, or Infernal Heartbreak. I move to open my door, chugging down another water bottle. My head hurt worse than anything I’d ever felt. That’s what I get for getting drunk and high. I blink my eyes quickly, trying to kill the redness. Turning the door handle, I pull it open.

“Hey Kobra, I was just about to go to-” I start to say, trying to brush him off so I could try to get to sleep. There may be some crying myself to sleep over the breakup, and loss of my pills.

“Party I need to talk to you.” A female voice says quickly. I see a pair of blue-purple eyes, reddened from crying. Her cheeks were flushed, she was sweating and shaking.

“Uh. Hey Sun. Come inside.” I say, letting her in. Another little blonde comes in. I recognize her as Dancing Spark. “What do you need?” I ask cautiously. “Do you want coffee?” I ask, and she nods. I go to make some, doing as I always do.

“What’s it you need to talk to me about? Want food?” I ask her, and she nods again. I figured food and coffee was what ex’s offered each other to be polite. I hand her a leftover taco-in-a-can, the can I’d planned on eating later tonight for a snack. She wolfs it down with the fork in the can, shoving it into her mouth hungrily where she stands. “Uh, feel free to sit down.” I tell her, and she goes and sit’s on my bed. Funny how this morning, we went from waking up next to each other, happy and together, to a screaming match to end all screaming matches, to her crying over me hurting her, to her ending up with my best friend, and now here she was, shoveling leftover taco into her mouth on my bed, trying to not cry again. Woohoo for the relationship rollercoaster she and I were on.

“What is it you need to tell me?” I ask, sitting down on the side Dancing Spark didn’t occupy. “Why is the student here?” I ask, genuinely curious. The matter couldn’t be that serious if she had brought a student here. I see Dancing Spark glare at me, like student was an insult. The younger girl puts a comforting arm around the elder, and surprisingly, the elder doesn’t shrug her off.

“Spark, dear, I need to do this on my own. You can go, wait outside. It’ll take me just a few minutes, and then you can come back in.” Sun instructs the younger blonde, who bounces out of the room compliantly. When the door shuts behind her, I look at Neon Sun again, and she looks me dead in the eye. Her eyes were flashing a million colors, changing every few seconds. Her head had to be killing her, it always did when her colors changed that fast. I move to sit next to her.

“Party, this is really important.”

“Did Ghoul do something?” I ask. Please say yes, this is how it all started last time. I beg whoever controls this thing for a second chance, promising silently to be the perfect boyfriend. No mess ups this time, no losing my temper to the extent I did back at the Diner today. Not even close. “Did he cheat again?”

“No, it isn’t Ghoul.” She sniffles, and starts bawling again.

“How do you have any tears left in you after today’s rather emotional events?” I let a little of my wit dip into my voice, though I said nothing witty. Sun smiles, crying still. It was odd, watching tears fall down a smiling face. “So, are you going to tell me?”

“It’s…hard to explain.” She says to me. “I’m scared you’ll be mad. I don’t want you mad at me.” I cautiously hug her, like I always have when she’s emotional.

“Sunnie, I’m not gonna be mad at you.” I promise her.

She sniffles into my shoulder. “You can’t promise that. What if I did something horrible?” She questions my promise.

Did you do something horrible?” I suddenly feel worried, and then remember the coffee I had making. I go to retrieve it, pouring some into two cups.

“What if I sold us out to BL/ND?” she asks, and I jump so hard I almost spill my coffee.

“Did you?” I ask, trying to control my temper. “Did you sell us out?!?!” I demand. She shakes her head. “Phew.” I say, pretending to wipe my brow. “You had me for a second there.” A weak laugh from her. “What is it?”

“Party, I’m not sure how to tell you this.” She says, and I see her eyes go to a blue green color. Each eye was half blue, half green, split down the middle in color.

“Well, just say the words.” I say, and she looks at me, shaking her head.

“Thanks Captain Obvious. You think this isn’t nerve wracking enough without your snooty sarcasam?” She snaps, and then I see her shrink back. “Sorry, look, do you remember our six month anniversary?”

I smile evily. “’Course I do. It was great.”

“Do you remember what happened?” She asks me, and I smile and laugh. Sun takes a cautious sip of her coffee, and I mimic her actions, trying to release the tension.

“Yeah. Want me to recount it for you?” I ask with a particularly smarmy grin. “Cause I can, if you like. Let’s start with us by the fire, you were feeling all cuddly, and decided I would make a rather nice snuggle buddy, so you crawled into my lap, and let me wrap my arms around you.” Fond memories come flooding back. I’d given her the Party Poison charm that morning, slipped it on her necklace without her noticing while she slept. After giving all the kids free time for the rest of the day, we decided to go out driving. I’d let her drive the Death machine, a rare treat for her. I’d casually mentioned later in the day, after hours of us just talking, that we should go down to the fire Ghoul had set up. I’d been smart, sang to her early in the day, presented her with a drawing I’d done of her. She presented me with kisses, and had fixed my jacket for me, as well as getting the kids to all take the day off, even though we were understocked in the way of troops. We sat down by the fire, and she decided to become my snuggle buddy, as my brother so childishly put it. We’d just sat there around the fire, drinking some chocolaty deliciousness I’d had Dr. Death Defying procure for us. Sure, it’s depleted my stash of cash and tradable items, but it was worth it to see Neon Sun smile at me. Well, apparently, she decided that tonight was gonna be great for me, and she popped up quickly from my lap, pulling me towards my Block as fast as our feet would carry us. And well…the rest… that’s kinda private. Intimate and private and a very fond memory of mine.

“No, it’s fine. I remember it pretty crisply myself.” She says, making me snap from my thoughts. “Uh, so, you totally remember that happening right?” she repeats.

I huff a sigh. She didn’t usually dance around stuff this much. “Yes. We have established that I do in fact remember our six month anniversary. What does that have to do with anything? It was nearly three weeks ago.”

“Do you love me?” She blurts. I stare, confused. A moment of silence passes while I try to collect my thoughts enough to make a sentence. “Do. You. Love. Me. Gerard.” She repeats. Things were serious if she brought out my real name.

“Yes. Of course I do.” I whisper, telling the truth. “Till the end of time.”

“Would you love us?” She asks. “You and I. Forever. Till the end of time.”

“Yes, I would,” I say, becoming nervous. “What’s the point of this question?”

“Party, I haven’t told you something. Something huge.” She whispers, looking at me through her eyelashes.


“You’re bisexual aren’t you?” I ask her. “Kobra Kid thought so from the start. It’s fine, I love you no matter what parts you like. Especially if you love me in particular.”

A giggle from her. “No, that’s not it Gee-tard.” Uh oh, out come the pet names. “Gee, you know I love you right? Forever? No matter what?”


“No. I didn’t know that. You kinda dropped me on my butt today for my best friend if I recall correctly.” I refuse to let the hurt seep into my voice, trying to keep a normal tone. No emotion other than positive ones would color my voice. I refused to let this girl know how bad it hurt seeing her with the guy I’d grown up with, shared my secrets with.

“And I apologize for that. I see now it was an attempt to make you jealous. A misguided, under thought, poorly executed attempt at a settling of our scores. I also see that it was a successful attempt.” She says with a playful tone to her voice. Sun continues on quickly. “But, just for the record, I love you so much. Gerard, I love you more than anything. It kind of scares me to let you know how much complete power you have over me. I would do anything for you. I’d go anywhere, be anything, just to make you happy.” Wow, she was getting sentimental. I decide to stay quiet, let her ride out the thought’s that were so obviously racing through her pretty little head. “And I hope to God I’m not making a mistake in confessing that to you, but it doesn’t stop there. I have loved you since day one, the very first day I met you. I was just barely 14, if I remember correctly, when Violet introduced me to you. It was brief, but I automatically fell hard and fast for you, with just your hello. I mean, sure, Ghoul was a big factor in my life for awhile, but I see that I’m mean to be with you.” Whoa, getting into some deep stuff here! If it got any deeper, I might need to get my floaties out to keep from drowning. “Please, please, try to keep an open mind when I tell you this secret. God this is scary. I never wanted this to go how it is now. How do I tell you this? This is so much harder than I thought it would be. Good God, I hope you don’t hate me. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if you hated me. All I want is for you to love me.” She starts to ramble. “That’s all. I could lose everything, my necklaces, my vision, my abilities, my IQ, my fighting skills, my everything. But as long as you loved me, I would be happy.”


“Are you dying? Are you sick?” I ask her, and she starts sobbing again. This is not reassuring. “How long do you have?” I’m desperate to know how long I have left with her, before she’s gone from my life forever. She shakes her head, muttering that she isn’t sick. I let her cry, and watch as she takes a shaky sip of her coffee.

“Quite the opposite.” She says. “Gerard, you may wanna sit down for this.” Oh no. I didn’t have enough alcohol for this if it was sitting down worthy. I’m not a fainter, because I’m a guy, and refuse to faint in front of girls. But if Sun wanted me to sit, then sit I would.

My head isn’t putting together what she’s saying. “Okay, you aren’t being clear Sunnie.” Her eyes resume racing through colors at a dizzying pace. She grips at her temples, massaging them quickly. Another sip of her coffee goes down her throat.

“Gerard, promise me you will love me forever. I need to hear it.” She says, voice begging for confirmation that her love went both ways.

I sigh, shaking my head sadly while I sat next to her. She turns to look me dead in the eye. I have the desperate urge to kiss her, but fight it down. “Sun, that’s ridic-”

“Promise me, so long as you mean it. If you don’t, I need to know now, so I can sort things out. I just hoped, that maybe, just maybe, you would promise me. ” She demands, and I look into her eyes. They settle on a silver color, one I hadn’t seen before. Purple rings penetrate the pure silver suddenly. I knew that color. “Because I love you the exact way I did yesterday.” She says, adjusting some lyrics to make me smile. Just like her, to be able to whip random lyrics out on me when she was emotional, and begging for me to love her.

“I promise you.” I say to her solemnly. What she didn’t know was that she didn’t have to beg. “On my life and that of Frank’s guitar.” Frank’s guitar was something to make serious promises on. He loved that thing like it was his child. I started to wonder a long time ago if maybe it was his child. Then again, I’d also been high when I thought that.

“Say it.” She demands. Her eyes flick to red, but the purple rings stay. She was getting upset. I give her a nervous look, and point to my eyes, signaling for her to change hers. A blink, and I’m left looking at bright blue, the purple still tingeing it

A deep breath from me, and I spit out what I need to say. “I promise you that I will love you forever. No questions asked, no matter what you say or do to me.” I say, meaning every word. “I loved you about two weeks into you living with us. It hurt seeing you with Frank for so long, knowing you two were madly in love with each other. I wanted to kill him when I found out that you two got engaged, because I wasn’t going to get a chance to tell you how I felt about you. You two would’ve gotten married, small ceremony with the kids watching probably, and I would’ve bailed on the ceremony. Because I loved you, and didn’t want you to be his forever.” She beams at me, but it falls. I notice her set her coffee cup on the floor, and she takes my hands in hers. Her skin was soft, and cold. I could feel the roughness of my hands rubbing against hers. I lace my fingers through hers, and she smiles at me again. I smile, loving that I could still make the girl that I’d hurt so much smile.

“Promise me you’ll not flip out on me.” She says, and I promise her, just wanting to know what it was that she needed to tell me. “Promise you’ll help me out.”

“I promise you to help you with whatever your problem is. I always have. Always will. Because I love you. No matter what.” I rub her hands, and she squeezes mine tighter. A deep breath from her.“Okay, tell me now.” I say. “The suspense is killing me.”

“I really hope you don’t die.” She says, and takes another deep breath.

“Why is that?”


“Because then….well, I’d be royally screwed.” She laughs, and it makes me smile. She could still laugh, after everything she’d been through. “Last promise okay?” I nod. “Promise me that you’ll help me tell Ghoul. I can’t do it without you.”

“I will help you tell him. Are you breaking up with him?” I ask, trying to keep the hope out of my voice. My heart was hammering in anticipation.

She sighs. “I have to. I can’t stay with him once I tell you. It’d just be…messy. Complicated really.” She says.

I’m getting really nervous. If it was worth breaking up with somebody, it was bad. “Did you cheat on him?” Worry colors my voice, and I furrow my eyebrows.

“No, nothing like that. I wouldn’t ever cheat on anybody.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Whaddya call that kiss from earlier?” I ask her. “First with Frank, and then I kissed you. That my darling Sun is called… cheating. It’s frowned upon in most places.” I say to her. He smile falls to a frown, and she looks upset again.

“You think I don’t feel like a pile of crap for what happened today? You think it doesn’t tear me to tiny little pieces every single time I think about it?” She barks. “Look, maybe I shouldn’t tell you if you’re going to just use that all against me.” She snaps, looking me dead in the eye.

I need to know. The need is comparable to that of my need for oxygen, for food, for music. For coffee. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to make a point. Go ahead and tell me. The apprehension is too much for me.”

“Would three people be too much for you?” She asks me. I cock my head at her, going for confused-yet-adorable. “Would taking care of one more person be too much for us?”

“Uh, no. Did you find a new teacher?” I ask, and she shakes her head. “Another student? I mean, we could take on one more I guess, it’s not too late in the year for it.” I’m mentally placing the new student.

She sighs, prepping herself for the reveal. “No, it’s not a new kid. Well, I mean, there’ll be one about a year from now.” She looks at me. “Approximately nine months from now actually….” My brain refuses to comprehend.

“I don’t understand.” I say, and she sighs again, giving me her you’re-an-idiot face. I keep staring into her big eyes, and see them settle on a lilac color. I squeeze her hands tighter, a sign of affection for both of us. We stay silent for a moment, just staring at each other. I remind myself twice that I was unable to kiss her, like I so desperately wanted to. I reminded myself that, for the time being, she wasn’t my girlfriend, and thus, not mine to kiss. Another beat of quiet between the both of us.

“Gerard, I’m pregnant. And it’s yours.” Sun says to me.
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