What kind of fuckery are we?
Title is a variation on Amy Winehouse’s “Me & Mr Jones”
First of the Gang to Die
Me & Mr Way
Frank tried to sober himself up as he heard Gerard approach.The day had been eventful,to say the least,and now the boy was sitting alone in the kitchen,sobbing softly to himself.He felt terrible.He was sick,his voice hoarse and strained,and his headache was pounding and pulsating.The second,more noticed ailment,was his guilt.He couldn’t believe he had killed someone.Sure,someone who had hurt him badly in the past,but Frank’s naturally good heart was laden with self-shame and horror.It was nearly four in the morning-he had given up on sleep a long time ago,and sat in the dark in his pyjamas.The gun he had used to kill Mancini,the Magnum,sat atop the table in front of him.The barrel was still covered in blood that Iero did not have the tolerance to remove.
“Honey?Are you in here?”
Frank had treated Gerard’s eye as best he could,even though the wound was too deep and destroyed that it was beyond repair,and so he simply tried to make it look the best as he was able.Gerard could still see out of the smallest of slits in the mashed up muscle,so Frank had sewn up the crevasse and drained the blood from it. It was,however,easier said than done.Frank had been crying the whole way through,apologizing to Gerard,hoping he wasn’t in too much pain.Way,however,seemed to be perfectly fine while his lover poked and prodded what used to be his left eye,and comforted the boy during the process,thanking him endlessly for his charity.He now looked even more terrifying than he had before;one eye was a peaceful,glittering green,the other an agitated,deep,dark crimson.
“Baby?Why are you down here?”Gerard felt around for the light and made his way to the table,choosing to sit opposite Frank,one hand on his knee.“Why are you crying,sugar?”
“I feel awful,”the boy hiccupped,wiping his eyes with his arm,the muscles leaking and puffed. “Can I s-sit in y-your lap?”
“Of course,”Gerard replied tactfully,slightly confused,but still pulling the kid on top of his thighs,wraping his arms around the boy.“Are you sick,baby?”
Frank nodded but his hesitation indicated it was not the only factor upsetting him.Way saw the smoking gun-literally-on the table and his imagination ran wild.He forced himself not to badger the rabbit with questions.
“What are you doing with the gun,sweetheart?” Iero cried harder into his shoulder and nearly strangled him with hugging. “You’re not just sick,are you,honey?”
“I killed someone!” Frank wept in his ear,sinking further into his lap. “I feel awful,Gerard.I killed someone!”He repeated,his tone a thin whine. “He had a wife,and kids,and-and...I killed him.”
The sobbing worsened and soon he was howling hopelessly,crying empty gasps of shock and trauma.The guilt was going to eat him alive.
“He did so such bad things to you,”Gerard whispered to him,” and he would have killed you if you didn’t.You did the right thing,sugar.”
“But you go to Hell for that!” Frank croaked,shaking under the older’s chin. “That’s a sin!”
“So’s being gay,apparently,”Gerard answered intelligently,stumping Frank momentarily. “Homosexuals are supposed to be stoned if they...” he cleared his throat and smiled.The next thing he said was in averted commas. “If they ‘lie with man’.”
“But murder is against the law,”Frank mumbled. “Haven’t you ever been arrested?”
“No,”Gerard informed him,”you don’t get arrested when you’re in the Mafia.”
“But the other gang will find out.” He was squeaking in such a vulnerable,weak way that the gangster squeezed him tighter to his chest.”And they’ll come after me.”
“Baby,I’ll take the blame for it if you want,”Gerard offered,caressing the kid’s extremities-his hands,his face-with light kisses. “I’ve already killed like three thousand people,what will one more hurt?”
“But that’s lying,”Frank pointed out,snuffling into his lover’s neck. “Isn’t that bad too?”
Way thought for a moment what in God’s name he ever did to deserve such an innocent creature to lighten up his life. The rabbit in his lap still continued to whimper and shudder meekly,tugging gingerly on Gerard’s shirt as he usually did.
“Yeah,sweetie,it is,”he returned truthfully. “But I’m a bad man. In a bad business.”
“You’re not bad,”the boy muttered. “You’re wonderful.”
Gerard smiled at his commitment.Frank’s love and naivety was blinding-pardon the pun-his common sense.
“I’m wonderful to you. To everyone else I am a cold blooded bastard of a killer. I kill,I maim,I fatally injure on a daily basis.That certainly isn’t good.”
“But you don’t hurt me,”Frank said quietly. “You’re good to me.”
“Because I love you,”Gerard purred. The boy would always be at a loss as to how he could be so seductive so suddenly. “I ain’t like James,honey.If I say I love you,I mean it.That means I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”He shrugged. “Makes pretty logical sense.”
Out of nowhere,Frank’s stomach rumbled.Gerard raised an eyebrow.
“Are you hungry?”
“No,”Frank replied automatically,after most of a decade of denying the need.Then: “Kinda.”
“What would you like?” Gerard asked,making sure he would get something if it was the last thing he’d do. “We have pretty much everything here.”
“You do?” He thought about it. “I never see you eat. You just drink and smoke.”
The older man chuckled. “One,you mostly stay locked up inside our bedroom all day,so your view is limited to our bed,the wardrobe and the en suite. Two,you must realize that thirty other men visit here on a daily basis.This is some people’s second home.Naturally we are going to eat.Three is this-you ever seen a skinny gangster?”
“Yeah.The higher the rank,the fatter you get.I used to be actually pretty skinny when I first joined the gang.”
“You’re not fat!” Frank said instantly. “I think you’re gorgeous.”
He laughed again. “You can be pretty and fat,Frank.”
“I know that,it’s just that-“
“I weigh like twenty pounds over weight,”he sighed contentedly. “Can’t even remember the time when I was healthy.”
“How much do you weigh?” Frank asked nervously,then regretting the question.
“Round hundred and eighty,sometimes more.And you?” He giggled. “I feel like such a girl,asking you about your weight.Next I’ll be asking for that gorgeous apple pie recipe or something.”
“Nearly one hundred and thirty pounds,”the boy muttered,managing to fit in before Gerard protested: “But I’m way shorter than you!By like six inches or something.”
“Yeah,I guess.But that’s the reason I don't sit in your lap.I’d probably kill you.”He thought.“You also don’t eat like me.I don’t eat,I fucking inhale food.”
Amen to that
“Why don’t you go on a diet?”
“Because I like to eat,”Gerard shrugged. “Now c’mon,enough gossping.What do you want to eat?”
“I don’t mind.”
“What do you normally eat?”
“Like...salad.Carrots and stuff.”
“Baby,that’s rabbit food.” He smiled. “Sorry,sorry,didn’t meant to joke. Sweetheart,I need to fatten you up.You’re so thin,so bony.Need to get some decent food in you.And by decent,I mean something that has a lot of sugar in it.”
Frank had barely heard that.He had spotted something on the counter.A half open packet that called to him in a soft,seductive manner.He was nearly drooling.
“Oh my God,”Frank gabbled,clutching handfuls of his husband’s shirt. “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.”
“Babe,you’re starting to scare me.And that is pretty damn hard to do.”
The boy slid off Gerard’s knees and padded over to the counter,taking two small,black biscuits and placing them on the table.Then he turned and hesitated.
“Can I get something out of the fridge?”
“Sure.” Way was slightly confused,but content at the same time.Any food equals happiness. “Knock yourself out.”
Frank swung the huge door of the refrigerator open and pulled out a jug of milk,pouring it into two glasses,the thick white liquid sloshing around in the glasses.He returned to the table and repositioned himself in the stronger’s lap,placing the food and drinks on the table.He held up one of the cookies to Gerard’s right eye.
“Do you know what this is?”He asked calmly,forcing himself not to froth at the mouth.
“Um,yes,”Gerard answered,nodding slowly. “That is an Oreo biscuit.”
You must be thinking I am just the weirdest person ever.But secretly you know that a mixture of homosexual gangsters and cookies is just an epic win
“Did you buy them?”Frank asked evenly,straddling the man fully,pressing himself up against his lover. “Did you buy these?”
“I guess.” Gerard was starting to get a little freaked out. “Or if not it was with my money,I don’t-“
The boy forced his lips down to Way’s,working their mouths together,tugging on the older’s bottom lip,wrapping his arms around his neck so tight that it was close to a second strangulation. The murderer was puzzled,but accepting nonethelessthe affection being forced on him by his rabbit.
Frank drew back,still nuzzling into Gerard’s neck.
“You are.The best person.EVER.” The boss grinned. “I fucking.Love.You.I haven’t had these for so long.James didn’t allow me to eat them.”
“He didn’t allow you to eat chocolate?” He sounded disgusted. “That’s fucking horrible.”
“Do you know how to eat it?”
“Do I know how to eat?Yeah.”
“No no no.Do you know how to eat an Oreo?”
“Is there a special way?”
“Yes,”Frank scoffed. “Pick it up.”
“Is this your idea of being dominant?”
“No,this is my idea of showing you the best thing in the entire universe.Now pick it up.”
Gerard picked up the black biscuit as did Frank,watching him carefully.
“I bet I’ll be able to eat it faster than you.”
Frank pursed his lips.“Just do what I do.”
“First,you have to twist it.And be careful;you’re too strong,you might break it.”
“Do you want to do it for me?”Gerard asked,smiling.
“No,you have to do it yourself.”
“Path to self enlightenment,yes?”
“Please don’t get philosophical,Gerard,I’m eating a cookie.”He twisted it evenly so that it came apart in two,each side covered in white stuff. “Now you have to lick.”
“What?You?”He was beaming-he loved seeing the boy happy.He leaned toward him. “A bit weird just to eat biscuits,but sure-“
“Not me,the Oreo!”He nearly fell off Gerard,but the gangster pulled him back up onto his thighs. “You have to lick the white shit off.”
“'The white shit'?Lovely,Frank,lovely.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Afterwards,can I lick you?”
“You are a very strange person,do you know that?”
“Hey,you’re married to the strange person and currently sitting in his lap,so you have no right to judge me.”
“Okay,okay.”Frank pointed at the cookie. “Please.I just want to do this,I haven’t done this since I was a kid.”
“I’m sorry,darling.”He swiped the entire thing off with a pink tongue. “There.Beat ya.”
“How did you-“he broke off,dumbstruck,pouting slightly. “How did you do that?”
“Dunno,but I beat your pretty little ass at your own game.” The grin was back.He pulled the boy toward him and wiped a stripe of saliva down his jawline. “When you’re fat it does come with perks,like eating something about eight times faster than the average individual.And I just lick ed you.So there.”
“I didn’t even think that was possible.Licking it that fast.”
“What can I say?I’m multi talented.” He watched the rabbit gingerly run his tongue up and down one side of the biscuit.It didn’t even occur to Frank that it might come across as sexual,but Gerard watched him with secret satisfaction.The boy caught on and rolled his eyes.
“You have such a filthy mind.”
“Only because you’re so squeaky clean.It’s my job to be the perverted one.Hardly going to be you,is it?”
He finished up and picked up one glass of milk.
“Now you have to dunk it in the milk,and then eat it real quickly.And chug the milk down.Okay?”
Frank dipped it in quickly and nibbled at the cookie,then lapping up the milk with his long tongue.Gerard,meanwhile,chomped up the biscuit and threw the milk back like a shot.
“That was nearly as good as sex,”Gerard declared openly,then starting to giggle.
“You’ve got milk on your lip and chocolate all over your face,”Gerard chortled. “It is actually so cute.”He paused. “Get some more of them,will you?”
“Haven’t they got a lot of fat in them?”James was coming back to him now;he always did whenever Frank ate. “Or sugar?”
“So?”The boy loved this lazy,greedy side of Gerard. “You’re like skin and bone,sugar.You need some meat on your bones.Or Oreo,whichever suits.”
Frank went to get the packet Oreo’s and sat back down at the table.They would continue to eat cookies and milk and make sexual innuendo about licking for the next three hours.