This chapter contains a pretty graphic (and terribly written) sex scene. You have been warned.
"It only happened once. Mikey and I made a deal when we were 15." I explained.
"The deal was, if we were still virgins in two years, then we would just do it." Mikey explained. "We stayed true to our word, and did it, before Roxy was attacked."
"Yeah, nothing ever happened between us after that, except we maybe got a bit closer as friends." I replied with a smile at Mikey. Frank looked like he was going faint. Gerard was glaring at me again.
"You certainly made your way around the group..." He muttered.
"Thats out of line Gerard." Mikey said. "Lets just forget about it. It was years ago."
"I agree, Mikey." I said.
"But..." Frank said. "I thought you were in love with me. No, you were in love with Mr Mystery man."
"And why should that have stopped me?" I asked him, getting more and more frustrated.
"It shouldn't. Lets just forget about it." Frank said. Thank you.
"No, I don't think I can forget about it. Its you and my little brother!" Gerard stood up. "I can't believe you never told us!"
"Gerard would you let it go?" Mikey asked. "It was years ago." Gerard just stormed to the door, ignoring his brother.
"That's right Gerard just be difficult about it!" I yelled after him. He slammed the door loudly and I jumped.
"Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Sorry the fun evening got ruined because of my stupidity." I said quietly to Frank and Mikey about about ten minutes of an awkward silence. "Night guys." I left the room without another word and made my way to my own room. I saw Gerard about half way down the hall, struggling with his card key.
"Stupid mother fucker..." He cursed as I approached him. I took the key from him and he looked startled. "I can do it!" He half yelled but I just ignored him. I opened his door for him and handed his key back to him.
"Good night Gerard." I said quietly.
"Thank you..." He whispered, staring directly into my eyes. I turned and walked away. I opened my own door, went in and cried. I sank to the floor and sobbed like a three year old.
There was a light tap on my door and I stood up to answer it. Gerard was there looking ambivalent. But then his expression changed to guilt.
"Oh god. You're crying." He said.
"I'm not crying."
"I just don't know why you never told me." Gerard said. I turned to go into the room again, leaving the door open for Gerard. I listened to him as he closed.
"Like we said, we didn't want to tell anyone. We thought the night was pretty special, and even though we didn't love each other, we became much closer. I was able to tell him things that I couldn't tell anyone else."
"Like who you were in love with?" I nodded. "Are you still in love with that person?" I nodded again. "You love me, don't you?"
"I knew I would never be able to do anything about it because you were an adult and I was a teenager. You could have gotten into a lot of trouble." I replied staring at the blinds. The only light in the room was coming from the street lamps outside.
"We're both adults now." Gerard said.
"Yes, we're both adults. But you don't feel the same way, Gerard." I replied. "So I should do what I do best and get over it."
"Mio amore." He whispered. He was right behind me, snaking his hands around my waist. He pulled me so I was touching his warm body. He placed light kisses on my neck and shoulders. I closed my eyes and breathed carefully. His hands moved around my stomach, briefly down to my crotch. He moved one of his hands to cup my one of my breasts. I moaned and spun around. I put my hand to the back of his neck and forced him down to kiss me. His hands slid down my back, he rubbed my ass and then lifted me up. I wasn't expecting that so I stopped kissing him. I laughed and he smiled at me. I kissed him again and wrapped my arms and legs around his body.
He took me over to the bed and set me down carefully. He took off his shirt and and I unbuttoned my jeans, pushed them off and scrambled up to kiss him. I kissed him so hard that I think my teeth hit his teeth. But I didn't care. This was what I wanted. This was the only thing I've ever really really wanted.
I woke up a few hours later in Gerard's arms. He was sound a asleep. I stroked his long hair out of his face and traced his jawline with the tip of my finger. His nose wrinkled and I thought I had woken him up but he just sighed in his sleep.
I sighed too and found the T.V remote and turned on the T.V. I managed to move out from Gerard's grasp and sit up. And old episode of Friends was playing. I used to love watching Friends. We always watched it together. Gerard, Frank, Mikey and me. It was always so great. It was the times I thought we were always going to be together. But of course, things got fucked up.
I started giggling at Phoebe. She was my favourite. Gerard stirred next to me and woke up.
"Sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"Thats ok." He said groggily. "I can't believe this finally happened."
"I know." I mumbled. I slouched further down into the bed and snuggled into Gerard's body. He wrapped his arms around me. I kissed his chest softly. "I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too."
"Who should we tell first?" I asked. "I mean, I've slept with both, Frank and Mikey so it might be awkward."
"Yeah, you're certainly making your way through the band. Just Ray and Bob to go." Gerard said. I poked him in the ribs. He laughed. "Ow. I'm kidding."
"But seriously, they will find out. I mean, its a tour. Nothing is kept secret." I said after a few minutes.
"Maybe we shouldn't tell them right now." Gerard said. "We should just enjoy having a few moments to ourselves. And then maybe after the tour we'll come clean."
"That sounds nice." I replied. Actually it was annoying because that meant sneaking around. "Sneaking around doesn't sound fun but at least we won't have to be together with the whole world watching. For a while anyway."
"Yeah." Gerard rolled over and was between my legs. I moved my legs to curl around his legs, holding him in place.
He started kissing my neck in a very mushy, romantic way and all the way along my jawline to my lips. He started moving inside of me and I started moaning, the sound was muffled by his mouth. We broke apart and he started thrusting harder, but he wasn't quite hitting the right spot this time. And then he did something I didn't expect. He replaced his cock with his fingers and continued the shoving. He kissed down my body, sucking my both my nipples on his way down, his mouth was warm and his teeth scraped my breasts. That felt so good. I just moaned louder. I'm pretty sure Frank in the next room could hear everything. I pushed that thought out of my mind and concentrated on what Gerard was doing. He started nibbling and licking my clit. I gasped. That was a new experience. Wow. I looked down at Gerard and he was smiling at me. He moved again and his cock was inside me and his lips were on mine. His mouth was hotter and wetter than before and I could taste myself and somehow that didn't gross me out. He kept thrusting and then we came. I think I kept coming after that first time and he seemed to keep moving until he was tired. I stroked his face and he smiled. His head forehead was sweating and his breathing was extremely heavy. I didn't seem to be breathing at all. He quite literally, took my breath away. He moved to the side, his leg draped over my legs and his arm was draped over my stomach, as if to say he was never letting me go. I fell asleep feeling happier than I have in a long time.