- "Flare dropped his silver wear [silverware] onto the table and sighed with contentment,[period not comma] "Wow Lara, your cooking never fails to impress.""
[My eyes widened for a bit at "six helpings" until I did the math and realized they only had one more serving than Taban each. Nice way of putting it though. Makes it sound extravaggant, unless you think about it.]
[I'm not so certain Refla would admit that he shaved his hair for fierceness. If that was truly his goal, it would actually diminish his fierceness by admitting he needed cosmetic help. You know more about his character and his relationship with the boys though, so I'll assume that they're close enough for it not to matter.]
"The two boys past [passed] in front of him, not twenty feet away."
"There was no need to hide when one could make himself invisible." [Either change the 'one' to 'he' or 'himself' to 'oneself'.]
[You need something to indicate the scene break between Taban's house and training.]
[I like Refla. He makes me smile. :D]
"You could go past the point of exhaustion[either add a comma here, or omit the next one] and past your physical limit, once you've learned to command your muscles and make them listen."
"Refla glanced up at the sun, gauging its position and deciding that it was about five [lowercase]O'clock. "
""I'll cook dinner and we'll have I ['a' not 'I'] bite to eat,[period, not comma; capitalize 'with' in reaction]" with that the rough and tough sword master walked into his house."
[You originally have the mystery man refer to Gina as "the" Key, but at the end refer to her only as "Key". You should pick a style and stick to it. Small difference, but different implications.]
[Ooooh! Creepy ending. Things are happening. I'm interested in finding out what's going to happen to Crono's mom, and how it relates to her in the actual game. Looking forward to the next part!]
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