“You gonna be there when I wake up?” I couldn’t see him but I knew he was smiling. “Always.”
IT’S THE FINAL COUNT DOWN!!! Dooodoodoodooodoo doodoodoodoodooooo doodoodoodoooooo
Yes. Oh god, I dreamt of this day and woke up crying :’( The Black is my baby. Oh how they grow. But you know what? We would never be here if it weren’t for you guys. You’re amazing. NO JOKE.
But in all seriousness thank you so so so much for making sure this story didn’t fail like the first one. I cannot say how glad I am for you special guys to be the ones continuously reading, reviewing and rating. You’re the reason I keep going. So thanks. I love you all.
It all ends now.
So here I am.
Where’s Frank? And Gerard?
Where am I?
Who are you? I know your voice...
Why am I here? Help me...
“Lee, wake up!”
I woke up. The glaring light of a lamp shone in my eyes and I blinked once or twice to get used to it. I felt so crap it was if I’d just woken up from a coma following a three day binge. My legs were heavy as tree trunks; sprawled lazily on what I came to realise as my living room couch. Mom and Frank were leaning over me; their brows crinkled in concern till Mom cracked a relieved smile and pulled me into a rib-cracking embrace.
“Sweetie, we were so worried!” she sobbed. I was still too dazed to answer. I looked at Frank. He was scowling. There were tear tracks on his pallid cheeks.
“You fainted,” she explained. “If it wasn’t for Frank here you would still be freezing to death by that tree.”
“How long have I been out?” I frowned. Time had completely escaped me.
“Oh, about two or three hours maybe?” Mom replied. “God, don’t do that again, okay? You had me worried sick!”
“Well I’m fine now.” I smiled as convincingly as I could. Mom beamed again and kissed my forehead before flouncing into the kitchen to “make coffee”, leaving Frank and I alone.
“You mad?” I asked, hugging my knees to my chest.
Frank sighed. “You are so fucking stupid. You’re lucky I didn’t tell her the truth.”
I winced at the harshness of his voice and played with my hands. “Thank you.”
Silence. Frank sat by the couch for a while before I gestured for him to come sit with me. He complied, squeezing in close and wrapping his arms around me. It was my turn to sigh and I rested my head on his shoulder.
“You’re so good to me,” I whispered. I could feel his heart beating under the material of his Misfits shirt.
“I know,” he chuckled. He began to comb his fingers through my hair.
“I’m so fucked up and you just go along with it all,” I continued. “You’re always there.”
“I told you already,” he said. “You’re everything to me. I just don’t like seeing him hurt you like this.”
I shook my head. “You’re wrong. Gerard wasn’t hurting me. ”
“Oh?” He raised his eyebrow. “Prove me wrong. Please.”
“...It’s difficult to explain,” I sighed again. “And I’m too tired to. But you know there’s still one thing left I need to do.”
Frank was silent. Then he pressed his lips to my head and rested his chin above it. “You should sleep.”
I nodded in agreement and closed my eyes, exhaling deeply. “You gonna be there when I wake up?”
I couldn’t see him but I knew he was smiling. “Always.”
The canal hadn’t changed at all since that day I kissed Gerard for the first time, except that it was raining now.
The sheeting rain splattered against the windscreen of Frank’s truck; fat raindrops trickling down the glass like mini waterfalls. It was grey that day, the clouds so thick it was a wonder whether we’d ever see the sun again. Frank told me that it was here we would meet Gerard.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked him as he parked the car by some bins and leant back in his seat. “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”
“If this was any other situation I would’ve taken that opportunity gladly and get the hell away from here,” he laughed humourlessly. “But this isn’t any other situation. Just go.”
My eyes lingered on him for a moment before I slipped out of the nice warm truck and made my way through the rain and mist towards the figure by the water’s edge. He was just standing there, gazing at the murky canal surface as if at any moment something amazing was going to break out of the water if he just waited. His eyes were glazed over underneath the floppy bangs of raven hair I had come to adore so much.
My mind went back to that day when I first saw him. The kid in the back row, so invisible to me then. Back then I hadn’t even imagined how much would change by knowing him; how my whole life would revolve around his very existence. That was over a year ago. It only felt like yesterday.
“Since when do you speak Latin?”
Gerard’s eyes didn’t leave the water as I came over to stand by his side but a small smile played on his lips at my voice.
“It’s complicated,” he replied. “I’m guessing you know then.”
“I know you lied to save my life. I know that you can’t put someone into purgatory because it’s impossible. And I’ve learnt that I’m the most freaking gullible idiot this world and the next have ever seen.”
He chuckled slightly before his smile disappeared completely and he looked down at his feet sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I put you through so much.”
I shook my head. “You saved my life. It was my ignorance that caused this. But you were there and I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if you weren’t. And I know that sacrificing everything you love for the greater good is a lot harder than one would think.”
He was silent, still gazing at his feet. I sighed again and stepped towards him, took his hands in mine. “And if I could, I would spend every last second of my life repaying the debt I owe you for what you’ve done for me.”
Despite how earlier I’d spent a near half an hour mentally yelling at myself to stay strong through this, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Gerard finally looked up from his feet and I saw his eyes were red and swollen too.
“You don’t owe me anything, Lee,” he said firmly. “You have no idea what you’ve done. How I’ve changed since we met. You showed me that I don’t have to be some cold hearted murderer – you showed me who I am, who I can be. That I could love and I deserved something good because I was good.”
Then he pulled me into a hug so tight it was as if he’d fade away there and then if he so much as let me go.
“We were never meant to be together,” he continued sadly. I sobbed into his shoulder, watching the tears fall from my cheeks and mingle with the rain.
“No?” My voice was muffled against his leather jacket.
“No. I love you. So fucking much. But I’m not right for you.” He rested his chin on my head. “The person that is right for you, and always has been, is sitting waiting for you in that car right now.”
He was right. Our worlds were too different, and we’d both known it for a while. We were just two kids seeing how far we could take this.
“I’ll miss you,” I said, pulling away and stepping back from him. He smiled sadly and planted a kiss on my cheek. Then he looked back over to the car where Frank watched us. I followed his gaze and could’ve sworn I saw Frank perform an odd jerking movement with his head that could almost have been a nod, which Gerard returned.
“You’ll be fine,” was the last thing Gerard Way said to me.
And then he turned on his heel and walked away to a better place. I watched him disappear; out of the ain, out of the canal. Out of my life. But I was okay with that. Because Frank was here and he’d look after me.
And we would get through this.
There is a cherry tree on Dutchman’s Hill.
A boy sits there, waiting. The night is so dark that the only shimmer of light on the hill glows from the stars speckling the sky, the golden lights of midnight New Jersey and two shimmering hazel eyes. Another figure appears out of the shadows by the tree, this one much slighter than their companion in the tree whom they begin to clamber up to.
“I’ll miss the lights,” the elder says as the smaller of the two fits himself against the bark.
“Me too,” the younger sighs. He rests a dirty blond head on the broad shoulder of the other and exhales deeply. “Can we go home now, Gee?”
The elder smiles in the dark and plants a kiss on the younger’s head. “Of course.”
We’ll carry on
We’ll carry on
And though you’re dead and gone
You’re memory will carry on