The only word buzzing around in my head now was “Why?”
(#) TheGiinger 2011-09-02 11:25:57 AMI love the plot so much and the whole concept, but please remember to just proof read to avoid any little mistakes :)
This is just constructive criticism, okay? Please don't be offended, but your audience isn't stupid, you don't need to explain every little detail. If you just said something like- 'Gerard's jaw dropped in astonishment'- the audience will understand that Frank's behaviour is unusual or out of character, there's no need for a sentence of explanation, okay? Occasionally, yes, but not all the time.
God, I feel like a bitch. Please don't think I don't like your work, I love it, this is just an area to improve in :D
Author's responseI`m glad you like it, and I am in no way offended or anything and you are NOT being a bitch. (trust me, I know a bitch when I see one) Thanks for letting me know, I`ll work on it.