“Save it for someone who cares.”
I stormed out of the room, stinging hot, angry tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but I was determined not to let them fall, at least not in front of that Liza Bitch. I hurry up the stairs and into the room I shared with Frank, I slam the heavy, wooden door shut, silently hoping that he would come running after me. He didn’t. I kick of my jeans, and collapse backwards onto the double bed, pulling the covers tightly around me, something I always did when I was a little child when I wanted to be alone. I used to feel protected whenever I did it, but now I just felt like a fool, a lovesick, hurt, fool.
From downstairs I can hear voices; I pull one of the pillows over my head and try to block them out. No doubt Liza would be talking shit about me, Alicia would most likely be the one trying to keep the peace, Mikey would probably be gritting his teeth, trying to stay polite, and Frankie…I just didn’t know. I would like to think that he would be sticking up for me, but I wasn’t so sure. He loved me, I knew he did, he just…I sigh and clutch the blankets tighter, the tars finally fall and stain my pale cheeks, leaving me feeling even worse about the whole situation.
The entire house was silent and everyone was asleep, apart from me obviously. Try as I might, I was not able to drift off; I was too worried about my darling Gerard and so consumed by guilt. Why had I let Liza treat him like that? Why hadn’t I said something? I sit up and sigh, a long drawn out one. I was exhausted, absolutely exhausted. Why didn’t I go after him? Even Mikey-Mikey, had told me to go and speak to him, but I didn’t, I couldn’t. I was too scared. I feared that Gerard would hate me, I did deserve it, I had completely ignored him, I had let Liza treat him, along with the others horribly.
I yawn and glance out of the living room window. It looked out directly into the front garden, and I could just see the sun beginning to rise, turning the sky a lovely mix of reds, oranges and pinks. It was weird, I loved sunrise, Gee loved sunsets. We used to watch them together sometimes, when we had nothing better to do or we couldn’t sleep. From upstairs I hear Cherry and Lilly cry out, probably wanting food or their diapers changing. I sigh and get to my feet, dragging my protesting, aching body up the stairs and along the corridor, into the room next to mine and Gerard`s, where most of their toys were kept and where they mostly slept.
“Hello, Beautiful…daddy`s here, don’t cry…” I coo at my sweet little daughters and swiftly lift up Cherry, and get her, her bottle; she drinks happily, her eyes half shut. Lilly looks up at me expectantly from where she lay, bundled up in her red blankets.
“In a minute, Sweetie, in a minute.” I tell her, though I know it is rather pointless, seeing as she can’t even understand what I was saying.
“Awww…. Sweet.” I freeze for a moment, then recognising the voice as Liza`s, I relax and place Cherry back down in her cot, making sure to wrap her up in her warm, soft blankets again. I get another pre-prepared bottle from the night bag on the bed and reach out for Lilly, but Liza stops me.
“Let me, you look shattered.” I nod, not seeing how it could hurt, and hand her Lilly, who stiffens slightly in Liza`s unfamiliar arms, but soon relaxes when she sees her bottle.
“Cute kids, they yours I take it?”
“yeah, Bandit is Gerard`s, Cherry and Lilly are mine, but we all kind of just help out, ya know?” she shakes her head, her medium length black and blonde hair falls forward into her face and she flicks it back.
“Not a clue, I never really saw the appeal of having kids, they cry, they shit, they ruin your figure and your sex life…“ she smirks at me, and I mentally squirm, almost certain my face has turned red, feeling more than a little uncomfortable.
“Can you not talk about stuff like that?”
“Stuff like what, Frankie?” she asks innocently, tilting her head to the side slightly. “Sex?” I turn away from her piecing gaze, suddenly finding the cream carpet extremely interesting.
“Erm, yeah,” I shuffle my feet awkwardly, wishing she would just stop talking. “That.”
She giggles, and puts Lilly back down in her cot, and hastily pulls the red blankets back over her tiny little body.
“Why not Frankie?” she ask, a devious grin forming on her face. She edges closer towards me, her grin growing even wider. “We used to have pretty good sex, didn’t we?”
I cough, tryin to think of a polite way to ask her to leave, but drawing up blank. “Liza, I really think that-“
“What, Frankie?” I scowl. I had always hated it when she had called me that, I had no problem with anyone else calling me it, but when Liza said it for some reason it just sounded…not right.
She moves even closer, slowly backing me up against the unused bed that was kept in the twin’s room, in case we had guests or we wanted to keep an eye on them or something. Right now I was really starting to re think the idea of having it in here.
“What`s the matter, don’t ya want me?” she teases, backing me up even more. I feel the back of my leg collide with the edge of the bed, and she smirks.
“When was the last time you and Gerard…did anything?” she asks it in an innocent enough tone, but the words were defiantly not innocent, nor was her reason for asking.
I feel my cheeks burn, by now they were probably a deep red colour, they most likely matched Gee`s hair.
“Was it a long time ago, Frankie?” Liza asks, and moves even closer, so that our bodies almost touched but not quite. I wanted to push her away, I should have, but I was unable to move.
“Liza, don`t-get off-“
“What’s wrong? Don’t you want me?” she reaches out with her left perfectly manicured had and rests it on my hip, and slowly begins to push my worn, ripped jeans down.
“`Cause I think you do,” she pauses, and leans in so that when she speaks she is speaking directly into my ear, her warm breath tickling my skin. “In fact, I know you do.”
From across the hall I can hear movement, and voices. I hear footsteps going down the stairs; Mikey calls my name, obviously wondering where I was.
“I’m-" Liza cuts me off, by roughly pressing her lips against mine, and pushes me backwards and onto the bed. I try to kick her away, not even caring if I hurt her, but she was strong, a hell of a lot stronger than she looked. She pull away for a second, tilting her head to the side, almost as though she heard something. I take this opportunity to try and get her off of me, but I just end up on top of her and she kisses me again, gripping at my dark hair tightly, moaning like the cheep whore she was.
“Frank, are you with the twins, `cause Gerard’s up and he-“
“Frank?!” Mikey was standing there in the doorway, a look of pure horror and disgust on his face. Then, to make everything even worse than it already was, Alicia shows up with Gerard. I want to hide, not wanting to see the look on his face. I knew what it looked like, but surely he wouldn’t think that I would…the look on his beautiful face confirms that, yes he clearly did think that.
“Gee, I didn’t do any-“
“Save it for someone who cares.”
so...was it ok?