FicWad

I traced my fingers along the outlines of his inked chest. He kissed my forehead, and met my eyes.

‘Gerard, stay with me forever?’

His eyes are so beautiful, green/hazel and perfectly oval. The seemed to light up when they met mine, they shined with such a childlike enthusiasm.

I just wanted to protect him and hold him in my arms forever.

‘What’s wrong?’

He sat up, puzzled and studied my expression. I shook my head quickly and looked directly at him again.

‘What’s wrong? Frank, what could be possibly wrong? I’m here with the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with. I love you-’

I was interrupted by his lips. They pressed against mine with such passion and strength, his hands stroking the back of my head. I reluctantly kissed back, my tongue meeting the edge of his lip, then slowly kissing down his face and his neck. He let go of my hair and kissed the top of my head. I stopped at his collarbone, resting my forehead there. He kissed down from my head, across my cheek and into my ear. He playfully bit the top of my ear and giggled. Then whispered in my ear:

‘Gerard Arthur Way, you make me happier than I thought was possible.‘

Was he seriously talking about his feelings? Frankie?

I was sensitive and over emotional one. It’s what made us fit, his childlike innocence and positive outlook, my deep, over analyzing way of thought…

Who was I kidding? He started giggling. His high pitched, contagious little laugh.

There is happy, and there is Frankie happy. Then I started to laugh, and he kissed the top of my head, and-...

"Gee?"

I sat up on the couch and looked at the clock, it was 9:30. Mikey would be out with Alicia now, Mom would be back in an hour. I must of fell asleep when I got back from the hospital. And now...

"Gerard. What the fuck happened to you man?"

His voice was a soft whisper.

There in the door way he stood. I looked straight into his tear filled, oval shaped eyes. Once again, his face was a mess, eyeliner smudged down to his cheekbones like a bruise. His hair in random greasy spikes, the front covering half of his fore-head, and chewing on his lip ring. His expression shocked. Caring. Like he was about to cry, for me. My expression must of looked confused, maybe even angry, he seemed nervous. But why would he be here?

My mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to think of the right words to say, then he started to walk toward the couch, starting to crouch in front of me. He held out his hand and softly touched my cheek. I looked across at his hand in an almost panicy, confused sense. But that wasn't what I wanted him to think, as he swiftly took away the hand from my face.

I paniced. I didn't need this right now, not at all. I was so much in denial, and he was there.

How long had he been there watching me? Had I given any signs I was thinking about him?

He could tell this, but staying in the same postion, he looked into my eyes, and once again, softy,

"I know this is the last thing you need right now. But self harm Gerard? I am, so sorry, that I didn't call, that I left so early... You can't do this to me."

His voice broke right at the end, the soft whisper now just a murmer. His eyes were again, sunken and upset. I could see desperation, once again welling up with tears. This was so unlike him.

But, a self harmer? What the-

I looked down at my arm, and imagined what the scars would look like to people. Shit.

"Wait, what? Frankie, that's not what happened! You have to trust me on this! You haven't done anything wrong. Seriously. None of this, it's not your fault, it's not your fault-"

First pressing his forehead against mine, and meeting my eyes, he kissed me, softly on the lips.

But this time, I felt like he meant it.

I had to break away I couldn't help it. But he was just so perfect, caring like that. For the first time in my life I felt at ease with someone, I had someone who wasn't putting me second to Mikey's popularity, or just feeling sorry for the weird kid.

But I broke away, and he jumped up onto his feet again.

"I'm so sorry, Gerard, yoy didn't need that. I am SO sorry. I just can't stop thinking about you man! You need to stop this, this... Making me care shit! I can't stop it, I can't help it! I remember that night, I have a good drunken memory Gerard, I can't just erase that. Like, what does this mean to you, seriously? Because I just can't stop fucking thinking about it! I just can't, I can't help it!"

His voice was tear filled and high, he paced as he spoke putting his head in his hands, then he crouched again with his head in his hands, sobbing.

What was I supposed to do in this situation? I was still sat their, on the couch in my pants, looking down at a guy crying because of his feelings towards me?

"Hey, Frankie..."

I shuffled myself over and rubbed the side of his arm, making comforting noises, trying to put across how I felt without admitting it.

I put my forehead on to his shoulder, I could hear his warm heartbeat and his slowing, rythmic breathing.

"This was such a fucking huge mistake, you're going to think I'm such a idiot. I should go."

He mumbled into his knees, yet still stayed in the same place. My hand still rubbing the side of his arm in a continuous movement.

I kissed the top of his head, and stayed there for a couple on seconds, burying my face in his hair and putting my arms around his neck.

And he didn't go. Somehow, I let him stay.