So this is my second story and i hope u like it:) Ryan is getting deep, it'll get more exciting;)
I am strong.
I'm protecting myself from god knows what: heartbreak,losing someone I care about, stopping myself from ruining my very own life.
This is only for my own good.
Well, why the hell can something that's for my best feel so bad?
How can it hurt so much to do the right thing?
And why am I still longing for what is bad for me, what can destroy the trembling ruins of my already aching heart?
Can this really be the best for me?
Should I take a chance and throw away what's left of my life, as if it was much of a life to begin with, try to grab him while I can?
Could I really fearlessly leap into a possibly, and quite surely, bottomless canyon, blindly relying on on the fact that I had a tiny, miserably small chance of ending up in heaven?
Would I risk everything for him?
Yes, yes I would. Yes, I could. But should I?
It had to be done.
I mean I could never do that!
Am I arguing with myself here!?
I slap myself and focus on what could go wrong if I let my raging feelings out.
I, I could get hurt.
This was self defense.
But everthing, all the hurt and pain in the world would be erased by just a second spent with him.
That's all it would take.
And it would all be worth it.
I was doing the right thing, keeping my feelings to myself.
He would never feel the same way.
He was too busy being the life of the party to notice such a wall flower as me.
I would just slow him down.
As a matter of fact, I don't even think I love him.
This is just a craze of the moment.
Yeah, a moment that lasts like 5 years....
It will pass.
He will always just be a friend to me.
Just a friend.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Only the thoughts in my head prove me wrong.
So hope u liked it! I'll update this tomorrow and i actually like it so i hope u tell me what u think! also if u have any requests for this story, my other story whatif...let's see shall we..? or a new one feel free to let me know! :)) I luv u all sooo much, yuo're the light in my world;)) anyhoo bye now