It will be a day that lives on in infamy. It will be a day that chages lives forever. (the story i had you audition for)
His voice is so clam, almost as if nothing is really wrong. Ha, our entire upper east coast has gone to hell in a hand basket. He is so calm. Letting my phone slip from my shaking hand onto the metal floor of the ferry, my eyes lock on the smoke and ash that continue to fill the once blue sky. How could this be happening?
Beside me Gerard’s sketchbook falls from his hand yet again…this time he makes no move to pick it up. Everyone on the ferry is silent, staring at the sky in complete shock. From where I sit I can see people throwing themselves from the falling buildings, deciding suicide is better than burning to death. Horrified, I hide my face in Gerard’s black, cotton shirt, feeling his arm warp around me. I just can’t watch this any longer.
“Fuck art,” Gee says placing his fingers under my chin so I am only looking into his hazel eyes. “What difference are we making by sitting inside all day drawing stupid comic strips? We could be making a difference; we should be making a difference.”
“Gerard, you’re talking nonsense,” I reply trying to not look as the buildings continue to fall.
“No, I’m not. Think, we could have been in there and died. Both of us wouldn’t have made a difference, neither of us would have been truly happy with our lives,” Gee says making a point.
Questioning my career choice for almost a year now I have considered dropping out of art school to try and pursue something else. My dead end sound tech job isn’t exactly making me happy though I do enjoy it more than scribbling lines down on a sheet of paper. I would have died an unhappy person.
The buzzing of my phone against the metal floor pulls me out of my head, my eyes once again glued to the sky as I press the green talk button praying it is Joey. If he doesn’t live I at least need him to know I love him and will miss him.
“Oh God, Mo, you picked up,” Joey breath his voice still clam and even. “Look I called one last time, we took over the plane but I’m not gonna make it home.”
A single tears runs down my face, “Joey, know that me and mom love you so much and even dad though he doesn’t say it enough. You’re a hero Joey.”
As the last words fall from my trembling lip I hear a scream and then dead silence. My brother is dead. He never made it back to his girlfriend to propose, he never got to have the family he wanted but none of that matters. Joey died a hero; he and all the other people on that plane stopped it from hitting its’ target.
The tiny silver phone drops again as tears pour from my eyes, the ferry taking us away from the city and back towards New Jersey. Gerard gathers me in his arms, allowing a wet spot to form on his shirt. I just don’t understand it.
Izzi will have seen the towers fall on the news but she won’t know about Joey, he wasn’t even supposed to be on that plane. Mom will have the TV off because she doesn’t believe in the thing; she’ll be oblivious. Dad is at work, I’m sure they’ll send everyone home early.
As the boat stops at the port in New Jersey everyone hurries off, trying to get home to their television sets to find out just what is going on though I’m positive the same thoughts run through everyone’s head…we are under attack.
“Molly,” Gerard says stopping me before I can get in my car. “Hey, can I tell you something?”
“You can tell me anything Gerard, you should know this,” I answer still fumbling with my keys.
Instead of saying anything Gee gently presses his lips to my face, touching the corner of my mouth. What was that for? I’m now left even more confused than I was a few moments ago, emotions sloshing around inside of me.
“Don’t kill yourself, okay? I’ll be over later probably with Mikey and Frankie alright?”
Instead of answering I nod, reaching my hands up and intertwining my fingers in Gerard’s long black hair, pressing my lips to his for just a second before swinging my car door open and getting in.
It is around 5:30 that night when Gerard, Mikey and their sister Frankie show up at my door. They all look stressed. Having come home to my small house in Belleville and popped a few antidepressants I’m not as bad off as I could be.
“Come in guys. I’m working on dinner,” I call not even bothering to open the door for them.
Arms are wrapped around me from behind, a head resting on my shoulder, from the other room I can hear a news reporter continuing on about the flights and what happened with each, the disturbing images flashing on the faces of Mikey and his older sister. It’s nearly too much to take and tears start to well up.
“Guys,” Gerard says harshly, not leaving my side, “turn that fucking thing off.”
Both comply with Gee’s request, sitting silently on the floor. How are any of us going to make it past today?
“Hey, I called up Matt, he’s gonna come over and just chill, we might play around with a song I wrote would you wanna join?”
Gerard’s comment makes me laugh a little, “You’re only offering because you need my basement and you don’t wanna be rude.”
He smirks, kissing my cheek as Mikey and Frankie walk into the kitchen both looking a little disturbed at our tiny display of affection.
“Could you save that for when we aren’t around?” Frankie asks as the oven sounds letting me know the pizza is done.
Rolling my eyes I grab the bottle of wine from the cabinet and set it on the table as Gee distributes the steaming pizza between four plates. It’s small and each of us only get one slice but the amount of wine each of us consumes fills our stomachs up where the pizza fell flat.
“Has Izzi called any of you?” I question after we had moved to the living area. I seriously hope Joey had talked to his long time girlfriend before his plane went down. It would make it so much easier on me.
“No, I don’t think she will be calling,” answers Mikey who had initially introduced Izzi and Joey.
Nodding I lean my head against Gerard’s arm, closing my eyes, trying to force myself not to see the falling bodies, the smoke, the falling towers...any of it. The wine in my system helps and eventually darkness takes over and I dream of nothing. Yet, one question lingers on my mind…Where the hell do we go from here?