Bob reflects on a crash, the death 0f his loved one and the last words he heard on that terrifying night (bray)
never let them take you alive. sophie x
2 months since the crash. 2 months since i lost him. I still see his face everwhere i go, i never got to tell him how i felt. In those last few seconds my life flashed before my eye's and i realised how much i had lost, my heart and reason for living was gone. The last words that rolled of his tounge and echoed in my ears and have done ever since, Those lat words are my lifeline.
Misfits blasted through Gerard's car speakers. Gee and Ray sat in the front, Me, Mikey and Mikeys girlfriend Alex sat in the back with Frank's skinny ass wedged in between me and Alex. We were all heading to Starbucks, all craving for that delicious taste of coffee. Frank had been moaning all morning that he would die without coffee, he wouldn't shut up untill we agreed to go, so we gave in and got into the car. Now Frank was jumping up and down, in what space we had left, with excitment. I couldn't keep my eye's off him, i'd had a crush on him for 3 years now but i was to scared to tell him. All the others knew but him. They all told me to tell him but i refused, telling them that he couldn't ever love anyone like me.
We could see starbucks ahead and Frank couldn't stay still. We were turning into the entrance to the car park, Then it all went black.
I woke up to find my self in a hospital lying on a bed.
"w..w...what happened?" i said not knowing who i was talking to.
Mikey answered me " we were turning into the entrance to starbucks... and .. then i don't remember it but i asked the nurse and she said that she was told.
"she said we were hit head on by a drunk driver" Mikey began to cry
"where's the others?"
Mikey looked at me tears streaming down his face.
"Frank and Alex are outside the room, Alex broke her arm and frank got a deep cut on the side of his face but nothing really major"
"WHat happened too you?"
"i broke my wrist and fingers"
"Gerard and ray?"
Mikey broke down in tears even more, i wasn't sure if i wanted to know
"Gee, is in another room, He broke 5 ribs and once pierced his lung, he damaged his spine and broke his leg and arm, but the doctors said he'll have to stay in for a few weeks but he'll live, but R...Ray"
"Omg, What happened to Ray Mikey?"
"he's.... barely there, he's drifting and out of conciousness, they think he had major damge to the head, snapped his spine so he's paralysed and like gee broke ribs and but they punctured both lungs, that's bee fixed but... but they don't think he's gonna make it Bob.... i don't know what to do..."
The tears overflowed heavily down my face, not Ray... he can't go.
"w...where i he?"
"i'll take you..."
i nodded and slowley got out of bed and headed for the door, i stumbled a few times but mikey caught me and helped me walk the rest of the way.
We reached room 1396 and i entered. What i saw made the tears stream heavier and faster. Ray was hooked up to machine's, wires were everywhere.
I headed further into the room and reached the bed where Ray lyed. I took hold of his hand and kissed it.
"Bob... is that you?" his voice was faint and weak.
"yeah it's me"
"i'm sorry Bob i'm sorry" tears welled up in his eyes and rolled down the side's of his face.
"it's okay baby, it's not your fault"
"i...i...i need t..to tell you... some thing"
i took hold of both his hands and pearched on the edge of his bed watching out for the wires
"what is it Ray"
" i need you too know..."
"know what, what is it"
"i should... of told... you" he was losing mire breath with every word he took, i could ee that talking was painfull, "i have done for... years but... but i didn't want t...too tell you... i was afr....afraid"
"what were you afraid to tell me" MOre tears fell down my face i didn't like seeing Ray suffering like this, it broke my heart.
"i...lo....love you.... i love...y...you"
"Ray i love you too... i have done for 3 years"
Ray smiled weakly and tried to say something but his eye's closed and the line on one of the screen stayed straight and a piercing beep filled the room. He was gone.... my Baby was gone... and he wasn't coming back.
-end of flashback-
The memory of Ray lying there lifeless tears me apart everytime i see the image. I never got to tell him everything but at least he knew i love him. This is why this has to be done. It's the only way i can be with him. I hold the picture of me and him in my left hand tight and with my right hand i bring a blade up to my left arm and drag it over the white area over and over again. The cut getting deeper and deeper everytime. I drop the blade and fall to my knees let the blood flow from my arm. I let the blanket of darkness smother me and wait to seee his beautiful face again......