“Silly boy,” she scolds me.
I eventually stopped running after about ten, possibly fifteen, twenty minutes. I was tired, my feet hurt as I was not wearing socks under my shoes and I was cold, my night shirt was completely soaked through from the icy rain, shivers ran up and down my spine. I was getting strange looks form passersby, most of whom were elderly people or smartly dressed businessmen, all ready for another tiring day at the office. I could never have a job like that, stuck inside the same boring four walls all day every day, living the tedious nine till five life.
From inside my pyjama pockets my phone vibrates and begins playing one of Frank`s favourite songs, alerting me that he was trying to get through to me. I hesitate before taking the noisy device out of my pocket, but not wanting to hear something that reminded me so much of him, I do. I briefly consider answering it, but I decide against it, not wanting to hurt myself any more than I already was. I didn’t want or need to hear what he had to say, lies about how he hadn’t done anything. I shove it angrily back into the loose pocket and run a shaking, freezing cold hand through my hair that was plastered to my numb face.
“|Excuse me sir, are you alright?” an elderly silvery haired stranger asks me, concern for me filling her clear blue eyes as she takes in my shivering, soaking wet form. She was dressed in a simple old rain Mac that came down to her knees, a bright yellow umbrella was held over her head and on her feet were a pair of muddy, bright green willies. She certainly looked a little odd, standing out from all of the other old woman that were out today, dressed in black or grey jackets, hurrying inside from the rain. On her wrinkled face was a wide smile, making her look younger than she was, she almost looked as though she was happy to see the rain.
“Are you alright?” she asks again.
I nod, though it was clear that I was far from alright. I was outside in the freezing cold, getting soaked by the rain with no jacket, my fiancé had been caught making out with his ex girlfriend and the wedding which I had no intention of going through with was three days away. “I`m fine, thanks for asking,” I smile at the woman, who shakes her head disapprovingly at me.
“Silly boy,” she scolds me.
“I`m not a silly boy, I`m-“
“Out alone early morning in the freezing cold rain without a jacket, ignoring calls from someone who must be worried sick about you,” I blush slightly and turn away, not able o meat her disapproving, stern, yet concerned gaze.
“Well I doubt they care that much anyway, if he cared he wouldn’t have done it,” I mumble, far too quietly for her to hear, or so I thought.
“I know it is none of my business young man, but I am sure that whoever`s calls you are avoiding really does care about you.”
Yeah right. “I don’t think so, I wish he did,”
She smiles kindly at me, “I`m sure that this person does, why else would they call?”
I sigh, wishing it was as simple as this kind, strange old woman was making it sound like. Frank didn’t love me, he preferred Liza over me.
“Don’t give up hope child, go and talk to them, I`m sure everything will work out alright for the two of you in the end at least.” She turns to walks away, and then adds in almost as an afterthought, “it always does.”
I watch until the old woman vanishes around a street corner. Talking, or rather listening to her had made me think, possibly even dare to hope. Could I have gotten the wrong end of things, Frank had tried to explain the situation to me and I had ignored him, could I have been wrong? I doubted it, but then why would he call? It was a slim chance, but could he possibly love me still? I had to know, even if it hurt me. I would have to go back and listen to him, hear him out. Even if it was all just lies, I had to know the truth. Then we would see what happened after.
I sigh and after a moment’s hesitation I take out my phone again and dial Frank`s number, holding my breath as I wait for him to answer.
Gee. Gerard. I run down the street, chasing after the man I loved and had loved for years, desperately hoping, praying he was alright. If he wasn’t alright, I knew that I wouldn’t be either. I had to explain to him, tell him that it was all her, not me. I didn’t know if he would ever believe me or trust me ever again, but I had to tell him, tell him that I loved him and that I would never do that to him. Why couldn’t he have believed me? How could Gerard have thought I would do that to him, cheat on him? Couldn’t e see how much I loved him, how much it pained me to see the hatred and mistrust in his beautiful eyes as he saw me with her?
My phone vibrates, shocking me for a moment. I hold my breath, so desperately wanting it to be him, preparing myself mentally for it not to be.
“Frank, Frankie?” he sounds so lost so alone, so…broken.
“Gee, I swear I didn’t!” i almost scream into the phone, praying he would believe me. “It was all Liza, Gee, she forced herself on me, I tried to kick her off and then you guys came in and saw!”
“Please, I love you, I would never cheat on you, you gotta believe me! Please!” I sob into the phone, the silence on the other end breaking the last shattered pieces of my heart that would only ever belong to tom him. Even if Gerard dint love me anymore, if he didn’t trust me anymore, I knew I would still continue loving him and only him until my dying breathes.
“I-I believe you, Frankie. I do.”
“s-she`s gone, we kicked her out, come back, me and Mikey are looking for you, where are you?”I yell at him, tears flowing freely down my face, mixing with the rain drops.
“I-I`ll come back, don’t worry.”