Categories > Games > Killer70 Reviews
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to killer7, Capcom does
Tears are for the weak
I sit alone in the school cafeteria. Always alone. The others will have nothing to do with me, they fear me. Like they should. They keep their distance, a wide circle in a sea of people. I pick up a fry from my plate, pop it in my mouth and chew. It tastes nice. I finish the rest of my meal in this fashion, pick up the plastic plates and head towards the bins. I pass some kids on my way there, and they're looking at me, I can tell. I keep my head down, but glare at them from the corner of my eye's. They know I'm glaring at them, and they laugh. They always laugh.
My pace quickens, I reach the bins, and deposit my trash into one of them. It falls onto the large pile that's collecting, almost overspilling onto the ground. Still hunched over, I walk the distance to the exit, with everyone watching. They don't deserve to meet my gaze. I leave the room, and I hear someone leave just behind me.
“Hi.” I turn around to face him. Just another random face I'd seen a million times before, one I'd never even talked to. He's just standing there, staring at me. I don't like being stared at.
“What?” The word exits my mouth, sharp as glass. They don't deserve anything better, so why should they get it?
“Well, I was wondering, you know...” He stammers, not like the others. They act so confident, so cocky, so sure of themselves. I hate them. “Do you have a date for the dance?” The school dance, he's talking about the school dance.
“No, I don't.” I say it harshly, trying to indicate to him that I don't intend on going at all.
“Wo-would you like to go with me?” Sadly, he doesn't catch on. He looks at me expectantly, wanting to hear my response. I don't sugar coat it.
“I'm not going to the dance.” Even he should be able to understand that.
I decide to walk away before he can destroy his dignity even further.
I don't see him for the rest of the day, and that's fine by me. He understands. Despite that, he is never far from my thoughts. Me, he wanted to ask me. It pounds through my head, never stopping, building pace. By the end of the day, it is thundering along the tracks of my mind, the sound echoing off the walls, showing no signs of ever slowing. It makes me feel dizzy. I look down at my maths book, head reeling, trying to make sense of the long chains of numbers and symbols. I don't think I would have got it at the best of times. Everyone else gets it though. And if I ask for help, they'll just laugh at me, like they did in the cafeteria.
The bell goes and I begin to walk home. I don't take the bus, it's filled with them. And that's the last thing I'd want right now. No, I'd rather be on my own, with the wind blowing through my hair and tugging gently at my coat. I close my eye's for a second and listen to the sound of my footsteps. They're very calming.
I hear the load roar of the school bus engine behind me, and I open my eye's and look to the side. The bus begins to pass me, and the windows get opened so they can shout abuse at me. I hear nothing new, just the same old words, the same old laughter. I lower my head as usual, so they can't see my face. Some of them throw empty water bottles at me, but they miss. Makes no difference to them, they laugh it up anyway. After what seems like an age, the bus passes.
I don't raise my head till I get home.
I take off my shoes before I enter the house and place them by the doorway. I don't announce my arrival, because there's nobody home. Dad's still at work, he's always working. My Mother? She's dead. I got in an argument with her, and both of us fell off the roof in a freak accident. The insurance money was only enough to cover my hospital bills, we didn't get anything more. Typical.
Starting up the stairs, I race towards my room, my sanctuary, closing the door behind me when I arrive. As soon as I'm inside I collapse on my bed, exhausted. I just let all my strength drip from my limbs and relax, no worries, no concerns, no nothing. I'm not sure how long I sit lie there for, but I start getting sleepy. I don't even try fighting it, I just let it take me away.
I find myself on the school bus. I don't know what I'm doing here, but the thought doesn't cross my mind till later. All I know is that it is full of them. They surround me, every seat filled except the one by me. They don't seem to have spotted me yet, I might be able to sneak away out of the emergency exit at the next stop. I wait for the bus to brake, and it's the longest wait of my life. The bus begins to slow, and eventually stops. A hydraulic hiss signals the doors opening, and I leap up to make a dash for the exit. Or I would, if I could leave the chair. Large wads of chewing gum glue me to the seat, preventing me from leaving.
At the front of the bus, two kids, one male one female, are walking down the isles, looking for a place to sit. I don't recognise them, I don't recognise anyone here. The two walk closer, inching nearer to where I sit by the second. I want to close my eyes, but I just can't, I'm forced to watch. The make their way down, stopping just before me.
“Hey, what are you doing sitting in our seats?” The boy asks, shoving me.
All of a sudden, everybody notices my presence. They begin to jeer, to throw things. A whole manner of items hit me, school equipment (like pencils, protractors and textbooks), to the just plain bizarre (some kid even threw a cheese grater at me). Someone behind me tips a can of coke over my head and the cheers from the crowd continue. This goes on for another minute, until I am picked up and dropped onto the floor.
Everyone sees I have gum stuck to me and it makes them laugh harder. They begin raining kicks down on me, their shoes stabbing into my stomach and back with loud thuds and I start screaming, screaming them to stop and just screaming. Suddenly the moves down a hill and I'm thrown forward the impossible distance to the front of the bus. I crash into the front wall of the bus and lay there in a crumpled heap, and the bus driver starts yelling at me to 'get behind the yellow line'. Eventually he gets tired of yelling and opens the main door and kicks me out himself. I bounce off the road a few times before coming to a halt, and I lay there beaten up by the side of the road. I stay like that for a few minutes, unable to move until I hear something coming towards me.
I turn around and there's a truck heading straight towards me, with no intention of stopping.
I wake up with a start and I'm breathing heavily, shaking and sweaty. I'm not sure how much time has passed, but the house is still empty and it's getting dark outside. I'm also very cold, and I fell like vomiting. Usual symptoms of one of my nightmares. On average I get one every few days, and it always ends up like this. The street light outside gives the whole room an eerie glow, which does nothing for my current mood. It's at these times, when I'm cold and scared, that I truly feel lonely, like I need someone. But no-one ever comes. No-one except... Him! He wanted to be near me, wanted to take me to the dance. Right now, I think that maybe I would agree. Life could truly be different from then on. No more laughing, no more taunting, they will finally see just how normal I can be.
I start to think about the possibilities, until I truly believe that they are real, that everything is better. Thoughts like that make me happy.
The next day, I look out for him. He's not in any of my classes, so I wait till lunch. I scan the room, trying to pick him out from the hundreds of others packed into the small area, all of them worthless. He is the only one of them that could amount to anything, do anything worth thinking about. I need him.
I head to the bins, dump my rubbish and continue to search from my new vantage point. I look upon row after row, until I see him. He's sitting on the edge of a table, everyone else are all bunched up at the opposite side, as if trying to avoid him. Kind of like me, but not as smart, yet. I shall educate him of the others worthlessness, teach him that he doesn't need proximity to them to feel wanted. He will understand. He's very smart.
I walk up to him, heart pounding in my chest. It seems to take an age to reach him, but I do. I'm standing right next to him, but he doesn't notice me.
“Hello.” He turns around and looks up at me, surprised. The emotion passes in an instant.
“Oh, hi.” He doesn't sound too pleased to see me, he must have taken my advice to heart.
“I've kinda been thinking about what you said to me yesterday, and I've done some rearranging to my schedule, so now I'm free on the night of the dance.” His eyes lit up, amazed by what he was hearing. Clearing his thoughts, he decided to answer me, his confidence having been regained.
“You... you'd like to go to the dance with me?” I had clearly made his day with this. At the other end of the table, several boys started laughing, but I ignored them.
“Yes. I would.” He's staring at me, totally amazed, trying to hide how much this means to him. He's failing miserably.
“I'll, pick you up at seven?” He asks, careful, in case I'm trying to trick him.
“That would be nice.” I give him a small smile, and it feels genuine. Not faked just to please someone, but, almost as if I wanted it to happen. It made me feel warm inside. “See you there.” I leave the table, no use hanging around.
I don't know what to wear. I don't know what people usually wear to these things, and I've never even been to one myself. I pick out a long skirt and a plain top, hopefully they will do. I brush my hair and slip on a small bracelet. I want tonight to go well. Ten to seven, he'll be here soon. As I head down the hallway, I catch my mother glaring at me from a photograph. She isn't happy with what I'm doing, she doesn't want me to be happy. Well to hell with her! She can't stop me, no-one can. It's just like when she was alive, really. Almost as if she never left. Especially as I was never able to see her funeral. For all I know she is alive, hiding from me, watching me.
I banish such thoughts from my mind and head downstairs. Only a few minutes and he'll be here. I run over my preparations in my head. I've left a note for Dad, telling him I've gone out shopping. He really doesn't take much notice of what I do nowadays anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. I put on my shoes. I love my shoes, they're a deep blood red with metal buckles, I got them for my birthday. As I try to make sure I haven't forgotten anything, I hear someone knocking at the door. I walk over to it, anticipation rising in my gut, hoping that it will be him on the other side and not someone trying to convert me to some kind of religious cult.
I open it. It's him, standing there with a goofy smile and a handful of flowers, wearing casual clothes, just like me. It makes me a little calmer to know I chose the right clothes, it'll help me blend in, not get noticed for once.
We stand there for several minutes, just looking at each other. He decides to speak first.
“Um...Hi,” He says, shifting his gaze slightly and shuffling his feet. He respects and fears me, just like how the others should. “Are you ready to go?” He looks straight into my eyes as he asks this, trying to catch a sign of the affirmative.
“Yes.” I answer.
I think I'm smiling.
It won't take long to get there in his car. His car. I've never ridden in a car before, my Dad can't afford one so we usually take a bus, or walk. Apparently I got a ride in an ambulance after my fall from the roof, but I don't remember, I was unconscious. It was kinda like sleeping, only without the nightmares. The nightmares stayed away for once.
I'm sitting next to him, on the right. He's too busy concentrating on the road to look at me, but I know he's thinking of me. He's thinking about the dance. He's thinking about how everyone is going to see us, and they'll know just how great we are. They'll bow down to us, envy us, and we'll push them away, just like they did to us. We'll make them learn. It's about time they learnt.
He parks the car and we enter the school. It's strange at night, similar but different. It feels like we aren't supposed to be there. I like the feeling. It makes me feel powerful. We make our way to the hall, where the dance is being held. On the way, we pass the not-so-subtle propaganda posters spouted by the school, in their misguided attempts to create the 'perfect' student. 'Do your tie up', 'Winners read', 'No running in the hall'. Heh.
I stop and snatch the last poster off the wall, holding it up for him to see before I tear it in two and drop the pieces to the ground. I take his hand in mine. “Feel like running?” I grin. He grins back, and we start to run. We blast through the corridors as fast as our legs can carry us, taking each corner as fast as we can muster. It feels just so perfect, so...right. I've always liked running, cause it feels like I'm escaping from everything, but now, I'm escaping with someone. I guess that's what he is, an escape. A way out, a way to get away from my horrible life and start anew. I think I'm the same thing to him. Soul mates. That's what we are.
Panting heavily, we step into the hall and it's like a whole new world in front of us. Lights, music and people. So many people. And all of them will see just how perfect we are together, They'll stare jealously at as from afar, their pointing and whispering no longer a sign of ridicule, but of envy.
None of them have spotted us yet, all too busy moving and twitching to their shitty music, oblivious to everything going on around them. I could whip out an AK and start shooting it into the crowd at random, and I doubt they'd notice. Their dates would fall to the ground, bleeding to death, and they'd be too entranced by the sound to do anything but keep dancing. It's sad, really.
I take hold of his hand and lead him to the side wall, where those not dancing stood. These ones had some sense at least. We stood there for a long time, holding hands, watching the lights flashing on-off-on-off-on-off hypnotically. They spoke to us, deep in our minds. Come over, dance beneath us. We'll make you beautiful. We''ll make you accepted. We'll make you Gods. Gods, just like all those already on the floor, feet moving with the music.
The feet. The lights. The music. They are all conspiring against us, they want us on the floor, twirling to their beat in their clutches. Step left. Blue flash. Sing your heart out. It has us.
Still pulling his hand, I step out from the wall towards the dancers. He looks at me. “I want to dance”.
“I don't know how.”
It's a crowd of everyone we hate, and we're both standing in the middle. They move around us, looking for an opening to attack. We give them no such chance. Our hands are entwined together around the handle of a long and beautiful katana. Light jumps and reflects off of it as we move it. Thrust to the left. Flash of red. Incoherent screaming. We got one. We twirl. Red vision. Sound of blade through flesh. It's wonderful. I don't want this feeling to ever end.
I pull him towards me, so we're touching. I place a hand to the holster on his waist, as he does to mine. We remove the guns, pointing them off to the side. Move. Mussel flash. Pow. More hit the ground. We point across each other. Flash. Bang.
The slaughter continues; they're all beneath our feet, and we stomp them. My heels pierce their faces. Slam. Their soul leaves their body in a flash of light. We kick out at another pair of heads. Crack. Escaping spirit. Our movements match each other, perfectly co-ordinated in our wish for destruction. This is love. This is unison. This is perfection. He smiles at me, and I smile back.
Standing on this pile of human filth, I know that out hearts are one, that he feels as I do. I throw my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. My tongue slides in and out, releasing him for the world that he has known. He is in my world now. And I won't let him leave.
The song ends, and we're back in the gym. I know everyone is staring at us, and for once I don't care. They're staring enviously at us, wishing for the perfection that is us. But they'll never get it. It is only for the enlightened. Only for us. I bask in the warmness that he gives off, and I know that I want more. I want to show them all that Suzie NEVER gets left behind. Suzie leads the pack, she reigns supreme.
I stare back at the people around me. The posers. The losers. The wimps and the nerd. The virgins. Every one of them 'pure'. Waiting for the perfect someone that will never come. It hits me. I know now what I must do to separate me and him from the herd.
I grab his hand and begin to lead out of the gym. He is too stunned at first, but quickly comes to and follows obediently as I lead him through the double doors, down the corridors and to the stock room. Closing the door behind us, I push him against the wall and begin to unbuckle his pants, preparing him to receive the ultimate gift. He squirms nervously, not sure if he is doing to right thing, but I know that it is right. As I finish pulling his clothing off him and begin to remove mine, he gets the idea. He helps prepare me for our sacred ritual. No-one's ever helped me in anything before. No-one. But he just has. I know this is right, that this is the time. The start of something special...
Now I'm lying on my bed, recounting the nights events. And I'm smiling. I have been ever since my transformation a few hours ago. Like moths emerging from a cocoon of our own making, we relinquished our grip on each other, and left the room as new people. Better people, superior in every way to the maggots that infested our lives. While we merely crushed them beneath our feet earlier, now we need not even touch them, we can fly above them, revelling in our advancement and watching them staring up at us in pure envy, wishing they could touch the sky's like us. But no, that is a privilege reserved for us, and us alone.
And tonight, when my father is asleep, he shall come for me, and we shall soar together under the moon and stars. And no-one, not even my mother is going to stop me. She glares at me through the frame, trying to will me otherwise. I pull my fathers rifle from beneath my bed and point it at her. I see her smile quiver, and her eyes fill with fear. She knows who is in control.
I sit and wait, wait for his light tap on the window, and I know I'll be free.