Alice finds she has some explaining to do
anyways, I hope you enjoy this.
Time, it is not linear. As a child, hours at the park felt like seconds. Now, staring at the scarlet pen on white paper, the seconds felt like decades. The only break in the awful silence was my voice trying to make words, any words, to explain what was in front of them.
“What is that?” Gerard said finally, his voice slow, I could tell he was treading carefully.
“It’s, it’s” I searched for words, none came.
I could feel myself panicking, I started hyperventilating, and before I knew what was happening, I was sobbing. Great, rasping sobs came quickly. I hated breaking down in front of them, crying was private. I tried to stop, but found myself unable to.
While I was sobbing, broken, I felt a pair of arms around me, holding me.
“Shhhh” Mikey said, wiping my eyes with a tissue. “Shhh, Alice it’s okay”
“It’s… not…. I’m… s-s-s-so-rry yo-u are s-s-see-ing me li-ke th-is”
“Its fine” he was hugging me “do you really feel so sad?”
“Y-y-es” I cried harder
“Why?” Mikey said, more to himself than me.
“Be-cause” I tried to control myself, “I can’t live happily” my voice was coming back now, but it was still haywire
“You can, Alice”
I shook my head, knowing, deep down, I could never be happy.
--a few hours later--
Seeing Alice break down like she had had made me scared. We stayed and comforted her, but when I tried to ask what had gone wrong she had ordered us to leave. Well, not ordered, but I could sense we had outstayed our welcome.
When we got home, Gerard had started drawing, I, however, had gone to my room and started playing my bass. I had only just set it down, and I was now lying on my bed thinking about Alice.
She was beautiful, an innocent beauty, so fragile, so hurt, she was unaware she possessed it. Which made her even more beautiful.
I heard a light knock on my door
“May I come in?” It was Gerard
“Sure” I said, sitting up a little.
He entered and sat on my bed, next to me.
“I cant stop thinking about Alice” he said after a short pause.
“No, neither can I” I sighed “She’s hurt”
“Yeah, she’s really hurt” Gerard stretched, “and I hope-”
“She isn’t serious about suicide?” I finished for him
“Yeah” he sighed “It would be such a waste of talent, she’s an amazing artist”
“That and she seems”
“Fixable?” Gerards turn to finish a sentence
“Yeah” I took off my glasses and rubbed my eyes, replacing them I said “I just want to hear her laugh like she did today”
“It was nice huh” Gerard smiled
“Yeah, it seemed like she hadn’t done it in years, and it sounded so natural, so genuine”
“It did” Gerard sighed again “She needs some love that girl, love, and maybe she’d be happy”
“Hopefully” I paused, listening “Gerard, can you hear that?”
“Hear what?” He looked startled
“It sounds like a siren, its getting louder”
“Yeah I can now” he listened intently “Its getting closer”
“Yeah, I wonder where its going”
We continued listening for several seconds before we stared at each other, a sickening realisation setting in.
“No” I whispered
“It cant be” Gerards expression was stony
“It” I went to my window, as the ambulances wail was nearly on top of us “It is” I finished, almost silently, as the ambulance stopped outside of Alice’s house, paramedics getting out and rushing in.
“She, she cant have” Gerard looked at my door, and then at me, before we both nodded and ran outside.
A woman was in the street, tears streaming down her face.
“Is it Alice?” Gerard asked her
She nodded, tears streaming down her pale face. I was struck by the resemblance to Alice. I took it this woman was her mother.
“She cut her wrists in the bath, I only just came home and didn’t know she was in there. I needed the toilet and, and” she sobbed “I saw my baby lying, dying in a bath full of blood”
“She… shes not d-” I couldn’t finish the word, too shocked
“No, but she’s going to have to fight for her life, she’s lost about a pint of blood”
Relief washed over me, as she was rushed outside and into the ambulance.
Gerard rushed over to paramedic, asking what hospital she was in.
Alice’s mother got inside the ambulance, holding her daughters hand and crying. We watched as the ambulance speeded off.
“Come on” Gerard said, dragging me towards our house.
“We have to go to hospital” I pleaded with him “See if she’s alright”
“I know we do” Gerard said, “But first I want to go inside and get her something”
“What?” I asked, running towards our house
“A picture, I picture I found”
“What picture?” I was running after Gerard
“A self portrait I drew, when I was suicidal” he looked at me “its of me as a dead spider, I think it, I think it would be nice for her to see it”
“Why?” I asked, puzzled
“To let her know it can get better, that girl hasn’t died tonight Mikey, I want her to know it can get better, I want her to know she can survive, heck Mikey, I want to save her life”