Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The hardest ones to love, are the ones that need it most...1 Reviews
Jay was back and I was a goner.
“Hello Gerard,” the dark, menacing shadow speaks in a deep, husky voice. I instantly recognise the voice; a huge, overwhelming sense of fear spreads through me. It was Jay. I gulp, scrambling to my feet, clenching my fists but keeping them casually by my sides. If this turned violent, like it often did, I would need to be ready and hopefully catch him unaware.
“Miss me?” he asks, stepping out of the shadow and into the dark, but slightly lighter living room. He had barely changed, though as it had only been a week or so, I hadn’t really expected him to. His dirty blonde hair fell to just about his shoulders, in a stylishly messy style that suited him well. His dark blue eyes were empty of emotion, staring, or rather, glaring at the spot where I stood shaking; an almost evil glint in them frightened me. His skin was paler than usual though, dark circles surrounded his eyes, he looked tired, perhaps he hadn’t been sleeping well. I most certainly hadn’t.
He takes a step closer to me, and shrugs off his black leather jacket, throwing it somewhere behind him on the floor. “I said,” he grits out, “Did you miss me?” his voice was low and dangerous, a tone I had grown used to in the many years I had spent with him.
It had taken months, of sleepless nights of tossing and turning, worrying, before I had finally gotten up the courage to leave him. I would have done so sooner if he hadn’t such a strong hold of me, Jay had literally been poising my mind, as well as my body ever since I was thirteen, making me think I was weak, stupid , worthless and disgusting, yet still claiming that he loved me. He knew no such emotion. Jay Winters was incapable of loving. I wished I could say he was incapable of receiving love, but I had loved him, in the beginning at least, I had adored him. I had practically worshiped the very ground d he had walked upon. That was before I realised what he really was. Jay Winters was nothing more than a monster.
I should have expected this. I should have known that he would come back and find me. If only I had been smarter when I had broken up with him, if only I had done something. What though? Tell the police? No, what would they do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, sod all. My boyfriend had been abusing me. If I was female, perhaps they would have done something, but I wasn’t. They would have ridiculed me, just like anyone else in the world would have.
Now Jay was back for me, just like I should have expected, and I was alone, completely, and utterly alone. He was evil, a monster. He swore to me on the day I had fled from him that he would seek revenge on me for “breaking his heart,” Yeah right. That bastard didn`t have a heart. If he did it was made of cold, unbreakable stone or solid ice possibly. If he had one he wouldn’t have done all the things he did. He wouldn’t have made me feel so dirty and insignificant, he wouldn’t have hurt me, he would have shown me kindness and love. Instead he showed me nothing but pain and hated. Holding me down and forcing me into things I didn’t want, things I want ready for in front of his friends. Calling me a slut, or a whore-his dirty little whore, in front of people, making me feel so used. Beating me when I had displeased him, taking complete control of my life, banning me from certain things, complaining and hurting me if I had hung out with my friends instead of him.
I should have been stronger; I should have fought him off. I tired, oh believe me I tired. But he was bigger than me, stronger than me and much, much smarter than me. And he constantly reminded me of these facts, he beat them into me until all my fight all willpower was gone. I should have at least tried to escape his evil clutches sooner, but I couldn’t. It took me years to figure out that what he was doing to me was wrong. He said he loved me, was I supposed to question that? He would sometimes make me feel loved, give me the attention I had longed for almost my entire childhood. Not often though.
Jay had twisted my mind and tainted it, destroying every last part of good in me, making me worthless in his eyes, the worlds and in my own. He made me believe that I deserved the horrible things he did to me; he would tell me that I had brought it upon myself. And I had stupidly believed him. It was only now that I realise that I didn`t, no one did.
“Long time no See, Gerard.” He grins, taking another step towards me. I gulp, wanting to run, but my feet were rooted to the stop. Jay Winters was back, and he was angry, livid. He wanted revenge, he craved it. And I was alone, abandoned unwanted, unloved, hated by my only friend. No one would came and save me even if they heard me scream. Jay was back and I was a goner.