Broken memories can be tread on but it hurts to pick up the remains.
"Stop standing like that!" she screeched, watching them eye her expressionlessly. "Someone's hurt! You're not in nirvana anymore just stop!"
Claudia, for what felt like in forever, blinked back tears that formed in the corner of her eyes. "You all- You all are sick!" she bellowed as she took off once again, not bearing to look at them once more. Her feet carried to her to the person who had let out the cry, someone she recognized as Chris's friend.
"What happened?" she asked breathlessly as her hands gripped at her knees.
"It's Chris!" the boy grabbed his hair as a tear rolled down his cheek. Something was extremely wrong if a boy was crying.
"What's wrong with him?!" Claudia grabbed the boy's shoulders and shook him slightly before grabbing her knees once again. She was still a bit out of breath, some would claim thats bad for you, but Claudia was perfect in figure, just the place she lived in would never allow so much exercise.
The boy paused, wiping away a tear with a shaky hand. "Chris has been getting drunk lately. The first time was because he was mad at his mother." This made Claudia shudder. "After nirvana that day, he said he didn't experience it. We got kind of worried but he was all about getting drunk, y'know? He didn't like the nirvana at all and whenever he was sober he would scream before the nirvana. We didn't know why, what's the hype about missing it? It makes you feel so peaceful." The boy cleared his throat as he had been scrutinized under Claudia's eyes. Nobody knew she didn't experience nirvana but they could guess so. "Well some men took him! Literally, I watched them drag him away, and the rest of the kids who were drunk."
"Everyone except you?" Claudia whispered as she eyed the pavement she stood on.
"I hate missing the nirvana," he barely whispered out. His eyes were full of tears, and Claudia felt bad as she stood there silently. She was helpless, she couldn't help someone she barely knew.
"Did Chris shout, did anyone?" Claudia raised her head, her eyes meeting the boys, the tears carving into his cheeks.
"I think Chris said to me," the boy slapped a lazy hand to his cheek as he thought. "I think he said 'Boycott feelings!'. But he's drunk, I don't get it, maybe it wasn't for me."
"It wasn't," Claudia whispered, the tear she had tried to hold back now spreading down her cheek, cackling with laughter as it embarrassed her. She wiped it and looked up to smile, such a fake smile. But the boy took it as an offering and gripped it with all his might as Claudia turned on her heel. Boycott feelings, how stupid. Chris still cared for her? No, he was drunk. Yes that was her own shield from feelings. Her mind flashed back to Chris and her sitting on Lover's Cliff.
Lover's Cliff, the most depressing place ever, to Claudia at least, but the place that Chris took her so they could be alone. He had been a hopeless romantic and Claudia adored that, with all her heart. That cliff had been one where lover's, who couldn't be together (as the story told) had jumped off hand-in-hand so they could live forever in "nirvana" together. Claudia remembered as Chris's head had been drooped in his arms, his knees splaying off the cliff, his left hand holding Claudia's hands tightly.
"The sun is setting," he had announced, his eyes watering. Claudia knew better then to even acknowledge the tears, Chris had problems he didn't talk about. Now she knew why he got drunk, but then she was clueless. Then she was selfish and focused on what to say back.
"It's okay," she whispered, squeezing his hand, allowing a smile to spread on her face. "It'll come back."
"And if it doesn't?"
"Then we can make our own," she had said on impulse.
That night Chris had gotten drunk. That night they broke up.
And that night the terrors had started.