A recently divorced Gerard Way develops some strange fetishes. A concerned Mikey tries to show him the error of his ways, yet may end up enabling him in the end.
On another note, I’ve been reading this lovely piece called 120 Days of Sodom. A rather disturbing tale (I still recommend it), it has inspired many ideas in me – weird ideas, but ideas none the less. Ideas that would, in fact, be very good basis to turn this into a story….
A Brother's Duty
Mikey Way stretched as he walked the hallways of the hotel they resided in for the time being. They had been enjoying a splendid day off, which Mikey felt that he had spent fruitfully, but it had become late and was now time to scurry off to bed.
He slipped in the card key to his room a couple of unsuccessful times before finally getting the little green light to appear on the damned device. He turned it's knob and stepped inside --- and the moment he had done so, the sight that met his weary gaze caused his heart to stop.
As it is common knowledge that the Way brothers often shared the same hotel room, it was no surprise to see Gerard there. No, what caused his heart to stop and his eyeballs to protrude beyond their sockets, was the position in which he had discovered Gerard in. His red-haired brother was being pinned against the furthest wall, naked, another man holding him by the neck. The man who was likewise naked was also tall, dark haired, muscular, and by all means rather intimidating in appearance. Switching back over to Gerard, his face looked quite blue, and who appeared to be struggling against the man's grip. Neither person seemed to notice Mikey's arrival.
Feeling urged to jump into action, but the idea of stealth eluding him, Mikey ran towards the two screaming "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!? LET GO OF HIM!!!"
He had only barely attained their acknowledgement before he pushed the muscular man aside. He was ready to take a swing at him, unsure that he could take such a large man but feeling as though he must protect himself and his brother, when Gerard wrapped his own arms around him from behind.
"Mikey! MIKEY!" Gerard spoke, breaking Mikey's focus on this surely dangerous intruder, "It's okay, I -- I told him to choke me."
"You -- you what?" Mikey asked, flabbergasted. He looked between both Gerard and the man, and saw from Gerard's expression not fear or the face of a victim, but one of concern and slight embarrassment.
Indeed Gerard's tone was meek as he spoke, as it always was when he was embarrassed. "It's sort of...um, a new fetish I've been trying out lately. It's totally voluntary. Hold on for just one second."
Gerard turned to the muscular man, who looked as though he was growing impatient. "Justin." he was apparently named, "You can go. Sorry about all this -- I haven't really told my brother about all this. I didn't think he'd be here for a few more hours. Yeah --- sorry."
Justin grunted something before quickly gathering his clothes and dressing in them. He left without so much as a goodbye, and Mikey and Gerard waited until the door had shut behind him. Mikey gave a slight look of disgust in Justin's direction. Despite what Gerard may have told him, he did not like the man one bit -- although that dislike is something to come with the property of walking in on someone naked in your sanctuary, seemingly choking your brother to death.
Gerard proceeded to dress himself as he resumed his explanation. "Since Lindsey left, I've just been experimenting in a few things. You know, trying to find something new to keep my mind off of things."
"No, Gerard." Mikey put his foot down instantly, "Absolutely not."
"No what?" Gerard looked at him cluelessly as he sat down on his hotel bed.
"No, you can't let other people choke you is what!" Mikey explained, throwing his arms in the air.
"Mikey, don't worry!" sighed Gerard, who had been anticipating this reaction from the younger Way. "I've done this tons of times already! It's perfectly safe!"
"Gee, all it would take is one bad accident to get you seriously hurt!" Mikey argued, "It doesn't matter how many times you've done it before, practice wouldn't prevent some idiot from taking it too far!"
"Dude, there are safety measures in place!" said Gerard. "If I feel like they’re pressing too hard, I'll knock on the wall three times or something!"
"And how are you so sure they'll listen, Gee?"
Gerard had no reply to that, only a slightly annoyed look on his face. Mikey frowned at his brother before he sat down next to him on the hotel bed. He placed an affectionate hand on Gerard's shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
"I know it's been tough since Lindsey left." he spoke softly, "But replacing that pain with a different kind of pain isn't the answer. Please, Gerard, I just don't want anything to happen to you. For my sake --- promise me you won't do things like this anymore."
Gerard seemed to think about it for a moment. He seemed genuinely worried for Mikey’s concern, and his shoulders slightly sulking, he nodded his head. Mikey let out a sigh of relief --- it was typically very hard to get Gerard to relinquish things he grew fond to. True to that latter thought, Gerard turned to Mikey a moment later and said, “But I want you do something for me.”
“What’s that?” ventured Mikey, mentally slapping himself for thinking he had obtained his goal so easily.
“Finish the job you interrupted.” Gerard smiled.
It took Mikey a long while before he realized what Gerard was suggesting. Once he did, he flushed a deep red and looked at Gerard for any sign that showed him to be joking.
“Gerard – I can’t – you can’t be –“ Mikey stammered.
“You don’t have to get naked.” Gerard interjected immediately, knowing what images had caused his brother to blush. “You don’t have to do anything sexual. You just have to…choke me a little. I’m just asking for one time, and you know it’s safe, because it’ll be by your hands!”
“I don’t know Gee.” Mikey frowned, “I don’t like the idea of you losing any air, even if it’s by me.”
“It makes me feel good, Mikes.” Gerard pleaded with him, “It isn’t even really a sexual thing. It just makes me feel… nice.”
“You’re a masochist.” Mikey reminded him, “I’m really not looking to encourage that.”
“Please Mikey!” Gerard was clearly becoming exasperated at this point, “I’m just asking for one time, and I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“Nothing sexual, right?”
“Trust me Mikey, sex is the farthest thing from my mind right now.”
“Well… okay, I guess.”
Both reluctantly and awkwardly, Mikey raised his hands and placed them upon the outskirts of Gerard’s neck. Gerard smiled at him encouragingly. Mikey moved his hands slightly closer to his brother’s suddenly frail looking neck. Gerard stared at him, waiting. Finally, Mikey settled his nervous hands upon the skin of Gerard’s neck. He took a moment to caress it with his fingers, observing red marks and bruises that already lined it. Slightly, he blamed himself for not noticing these earlier.
“Mikey…” Gerard uttered under his breath, pulling Mikey out of his thoughts.
Deciding to save his contemplations for a better time, Mikey proceeded to apply a bit more pressure to Gerard’s neck by means of his thumbs. Gerard moaned a little, and Mikey could visibly see him enter the realm of pleasure of which this habit led him.
“Harder.” Gerard whispered.
Mikey obeyed, applying more pressure into the center of Gerard’s throat. He strained his ears for any inclination of unexpected distress from Gerard, yet Gerard was silent and seemed to be in somewhat of a stupor. His eyelids had shut closed, and his body shuddered every now and then. After some time of silence, Mikey felt the need to inquire.
“Gerard?” he asked, “Can you breathe?”
“No.” Gerard whispered, “That’s the whole point, idiot.”
Mikey rolled his eyes and pressed down a bit harder. He watched his euphoric brother in fascination, and took this time to return to his previous contemplations. He hated Gerard's self-destructive ways. Despite Gerard’s promise to discard this horrific habit, Mikey worried that in doing so, he would only trade it for some far more dangerous one. He knew full well why this was happening. The recent divorce had left Gerard searching for physical pains in order to distract him from the one that ailed his heart. This had left Mikey feeling helpless to save him, and he would admit that he had become a bit overprotective of Gerard as a result.
Suddenly, Gerard made a face. It alarmed Mikey, and Gerard’s entire being seemed to convulse for a moment.
“Gee?” Mikey asked in confusion.
Gerard then raised his hands and grabbed a hold of Mikey’s wrist. Unsure of what this meant, yet assuming at the same time, Mikey slowly removed his grip from Gerard’s neck.
He assumed correctly. The next moment Gerard was looking at him with a rather silly grin on his face. “Thank you." he said, “See, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?”
Mikey only gave him an uneasy smile in return, unsure of his own answer to the proposed question. Realizing he was not going to get anything more out of his little brother, Gerard stood and announced he was retreating to the bathroom. Mikey only hoped it was not to go cutting up his arms, as he had caught him doing just last week.
The sound of the bathroom door closing and locking was heard behind him, as he continued to sit and stare at the spot Gerard had just been. It was upon closer inspection that Mikey realized that the spot was in fact drenched in a very white liquid. The funny face Gerard had pulled before he had ended the activity came to mind, and Mikey put two and two together.
Realizing Gerard had lied to him earlier, Mikey felt that same hopelessness sink in him once more. For if Gerard had lied about that, he figured, he could easily have just as well lied about his promise.
He did hope he was wrong. Yet, Mikey thought as he turned off the lights, he knew his doubts were not unfounded. Gerard was masochist, a stubborn masochist at that. At the very least, Mikey consoled himself with the idea that perhaps he could again be the one to help quell any needs his brother may have.
Who else would be better than he, who knows Gerard’s boundaries and faults? He detested these strange men who came to satisfy his brother’s latest fetishes, but only because he could never trust a stranger. They did not love Gerard, that much was certain.
Mikey loved Gerard. Perhaps not in a sexual way, not in a lovers way, yet still in a way that made it so that the only people he trusted to handle Gerard was himself. He had tried to place his trust in friends, such as Lindsey or Eliza, yet they only ended up breaking him.
Of course, he was well aware that most of Gerard’s recent fixations had been sexual. As for that, Mikey figured he could always try to help Gerard in a way that did not involve any sort of intimate touching, as he had tonight.
And if it was ever something in which intimacy was an absolute must – well, that bridge would be crossed if, or when, they came to it.