"Sex kind of...scares me."
Once I get home I play X-box, waiting patiently for Amber to get home. I’m only thirty minutes into the game when I hear the walkie connect. I scramble over to my window and look at the paper snowflakes that stare back.
“Frankie, are you there?” her voice sounds.
“I’m here,” I reply. I’d looked at her window a million times since she’d been gone. This is the first time her light has been on.
“When did you get home,” she asks as she stands in front of the window.
“A little while ago, I’ve just been sitting up here waiting for you.”
“I see you,” she says.
I laugh softly, “I see you too.”
Amber puts her hand on the glass so I stand and do the same, “I miss you.”
“I miss you too. My mom already said it’s cool if I sneak out tonight,” I tell her, watching as a smile slides across her face.
“When can you be here?”
“As soon as I can, just let me get something to wear. I don’t like sleeping in my jeans.”
“Can I watch you dress?” Amber asks innocently.
I laugh, “Pervert.”
“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Okay,” Amber sighs.
I turn off the walkie talkie, take off my jeans and slide on my Batman pajama pants. After pulling on a black hoodie I head down stairs.
As usual my mom is sitting in front of the television, sipping coffee, watching the nightly news. She looks a little distraught about one of the stories. I decide not to question her about it for fear of being stuck here for hours.
“Mom, I’m leaving,” I announce.
“Okay, have fun and be careful,” she replies as if she’s in some kind of trance.
“Always,” I answer before slipping out the back door.
It is freezing ass cold outside. I hurry across the alley and through Amber’s yard. I stand on top of the frozen trash cans, pulling myself onto the roof. Amber stands there, watching me freeze my ass off. Eventually she opens the window, laughing. I’m glad she finds some kind of sick fun in watching other people freeze.
“Fucking freezing,” I grumble.
Still laughing, Amber comes up to me, wrapping her arms tightly around me. She is warm and soft, “I’m asking for a heated blanket for Christmas.”
“Goddamn, I hope you get one,” I answer as Frankie, Amber’s cat, wanders over, mewing at me.
“Me too, c’mon,” Amber pulls me over to her bed. I kick off my shoes and pull off my hoodie. I then climb under the covers next to her, pulling them up to my neck. Again my best friend wraps her arms around me in an attempt to keep me warm. She’s sweet.
“You’re not c-cold?” I ask, shivering a little bit.
“No, I feel fine.”
Amber laughs, squeezing up against me. I can feel the heat from her body seeping into my skin, “Oh God, you’re so warm.”
Her cheeks instantly become red, “My warmth is yours. Take it.”
“I am. I’m stealing all of it.”
“Hold on,” Amber sits up, looking at me for a minute. It appears she is experiencing an eternal conflict. “Let me get that knitted blanket from my closet. It’s super warm.”
I watch as she climbs out of the bed, leaving me cold and lonely. I should have just leaned up and kissed her. Amber pulls out a thick, knitted blanket, throwing it over me.
Amber climbs back in, “Still cold?”
“I’m getting warmer,” I answer. “I like it better when you’re next to me though.”
So, Amber presses herself up against me again and in return I sigh contently, “You’re like my own personal little heater.”
Her gently laugh greets my ears, “I’m usually the one who’s always cold.”
“I know but you didn’t have to climb frozen trashcans in your Batman jammies.”
“I don’t have any Batman jammies.”
“I’ll get you some. Batman is essential.”
“Of course,” she answers her fingers finding mine.
“Are you tired?”
“Not really. I just want to cuddle you and keep you warm before you get hypothermia.”
We just cuddle and make light conversation before we both become so warm that Amber is forced to throw the knitted blanket off the bed and onto the floor. Once it is off she rolls over and I wrap my arms around her. We fall asleep exactly like this.
In the morning I look over at Amber, surprised to see her eyes open; normally I’m up before her. She is lying on her back with her hands above her head, hair splayed out on the pillow. She looks like a Goddamn angel. I don’t say anything for a while, content on just watching her. Amber’s room is flooded with light, making her eyes look super green. I reach out and touch her cheek. In return Amber lays her hand over mine.
“Your eyes are so green in the sunlight,” I whisper.
“Yours too,” she answers me.
I trace my thumb over her cheek before touching her lips. For a brief second Amber’s eyes close then opening again slowly.
“Yeah,” I answer as the both of us sit up, our backs against the wall.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything,” I respond, Amber’s head resting on my shoulder.
“When was the last time you… had sex?”
My eyebrows furrow. Her random question caught me off guard, “You want the truth?”
“I’d prefer it,” Amber answers.
“Devlin,” I respond, hating myself for it.
“So September… ish,” Amber does the math in her head.
“Something like that. Why?”
“Why are you wondering?”
“Because… I was wondering if you felt… deprived.”
I smile finding it rather cute that she’s concerned or at least pretending to me, “I feel fine.”
“How long do you think you can wait?”
I’m now pretty sure I know what she is getting at. Amber isn’t just being a concerned friend, she's worried.
She looks up at me under her eyelashes, “Before you need a girlfriend, I mean.”
I trace my thumb over her lips again. They part slightly and it takes everything I have to not kiss them, “I can wait…as long as I have to.”
Amber’s eyes close again before they open a second later, “Can I tell you something?”
“Always,” I answer with a smile.
“Sex kind of… scares me” Amber admits.
“I know it does.”
I am pretty sure I know why she is telling me this and it doesn’t bother me at all. It isn’t sex that I want from Amber. I mean, sure I want to have sex with her, but I am willing to wait for it. I want it to be comfortable for her.
“I’m willing… to wait… forever if I have to.”
Then her breathing picks up as she realizes I’m telling her this. So, I act on instinct. I lean forward and brush my lips against hers. Amber’s hand reaches up, cupping my cheek. Just then I hear footsteps on stairs. I pull away and let my back fall against the wall.
“Fucking Christ,” I grumble.
The door opens and Mikey peers in, “Hey, Frank, can I talk for a minute?”
Mumbling under my breath I crawl out of bed, “Yeah, I’m coming.”
Although I want her to, Amber doesn’t follow. I have a feeling the following conversation is going to be very awkward.
Note: I would have had this up earlier but it's snowing here and my boyfriend insisted on going out in it. I don't much enjoy the snow. Haha. I'm really hoping this isn't going to continue. Snow before Thanksgiving isn't welcome in my book. Anyways, hoped you liked it. :)