“But I did love him. I realised that then because with every tear that slid down his lost porcelain face, a fragment of my heart slid away with it.” FRIKEY.
My quick feet pounded speedily, almost as quickly as my stunned heart, on the sidewalk, keeping in sonic tempo with the unexpected rain. I kept my concerned eyes trained on Mikey Way's swift and small form as the kid sprinted off in the direction of the local park.
I think I was still in some sort of infuriated and horrified shock. Gee and I both knew full well that Mikes got relentlessly bullied at that hellhole of a school, so we both endeavoured to make him feel as loved and as un-alone as possible. We both knew that, for some incomprehensible reason, we were his only friends. We both knew that the poor kid was depressed. We both knew about the hidden suicide note that his maths teacher had found in the back of his book and how long it had taken for him to cry himself to sleep that night in Gerard's arms. We both knew that he cut himself when things got too much for him to handle.
So why the fuck had Gee just destroyed his beloved baby brother?
I didn't know and I didn't much care, I just wanted to see Mikey's pale features be illuminated by his adorably smile as they had been not half an hour previous to me accelerating down the clearing street after him.
"Mikey! Slow down, you're gonna-" Too late, he slipped on a drain cover and skidded a few feet
on his side just as my panicked words of warning left my pierced lips.
He didn't bother to get up and so I was kneeling worriedly by his side within nanoseconds. I reached out a comforting hand to his bleeding shoulder, but he shifted terrifiedly away, instantly wincing in pain. I slowly stood up, ready to run in case he bolted again. He shot to his feet, stumbled slightly and then just broke down. Right there in the middle of the fucking street. He just burst into heartbroken and heartbreaking tears, not caring that his shoulder had been torn by his trip to the ground.
I instinctively stepped towards him and enveloped him in my caring, if slightly panicked at what he hell I was supposed to do to help, arms. I felt him try to pull away, so I pulled him closer and held on tighter. It agonized me so much to see him like that; never had I known such a genuinely nice person to have so much undeserved shit thrown at him.
After a few minutes of almost frenzied struggling, Mikey finally melted into my hold, wrapping his own wiry arms around me as though he suddenly feared me heartlessly abandoning him like his precious big brother had. I stroked his shuddering back with my soothing hands and rested my head on his good shoulder so that my soft lips were next to his ear.
"It's alright, Mikes. I got ya," I hushed into his ear, my lips accidently brushing against it, causing us both to inexplicably blush like school girls.
I gently guided him to a nearby bench, his perfect face still buried sorrowfully in my accepting chest as we sunk onto the hard wooden bench together. I waited with surprising patience as Mikes sobbed unstoppably into my chest and neck, my consoling hands smoothing circles onto his shuddering back.
"Frankie, what'd I do?" He sniffled morosely, making me hate Gerard with all of my black heart.
"Nothing, Mikes. Absolutely nothing. Gee was just in a bad mood; he'd had a rough day." I comforted, using extreme amounts of my usually non-existant self control to stop myself from putting a few strong explitives alongside that stupid bastard's name for what he'd done to Mikes.
"I'm always fucking everything up and now my own brother hates me! Why does everyone hate me, Frankie?" He wailed hopelessly, crushing my heart in the process. He was so beautiful, both inside and out, but why didn't he see that? Why didn't the world?
He'd been like this the day of the suicide note incident and it sent chills up my skinny spine. Last time Gee had been there to help him through it, but now Gee was the cause of his depression and I had no idea what to do.
So I kissed him.
I tilted his head up with my loving left hand, locked my watery eyes with his tear-stained ones and leaned in. I pressed my lips softly onto his and let them linger there, taking in his delicious taste. Before I knew what I was doing, my tounge was in his mouth and washing over his own limp one, my hands running needily through his silky hair.
This was wrong. He didn't need this. He didn't want this. He wasn't kissing back. My heart sank...
Then rose again when his arms fastened desperately around my neck and he pulled himself closer to me so that he was practically in my more than welcoming lap. He leaned into it hungrily, making a valiant effort to match the pace of my tongue.
It was passionate. It was lustful. It was hungry. It was perfect. It was amazing. It was desperate. It was loving. It was...
Wrong. I was wrong. He was upset. Broken. Depressed. Emotional. Confused. And I was taking advantage of him. The thought that I was causing more damage, rather than repairing the pitiful rubble left by Gerard, made me sick and I ripped my mouth disgustedly off of him, leaving a very hurt looking Mikey staring at me in bemusement.
We sat in the deafening silence of awkwardness, guilt, confusion and shame for an eternity of burning seconds, only interrupted when I heard Mikey trying to swallow a sob.
Fuck. Now I'd done it! I'd gone and taken advantage of a, quite possibly suicidal, kid, who just so happened to be my pissed-off best friend's little brother, and now I had to live with the scorching guilt of fucking things up for him even more.
But I did love him. I realised that then because with every tear that slid down his lost porcelain face, a fragment of my heart slid away with it.
"Shit, Mikes, I'm so fucking sorry. I fucked up big time," I apologized profusely, shaking away liar's guilt, assuming that it was what Mikey wanted/needed to hear.
"You... Fucked up?" He asked dangerously, his broken eyes sparkling with the hideous fire of inner destruction that I longed to extinguish.
Not knowing what else to do, I simply nodded.
"That's all I am, isn't it?! One big fuck-up!" Mikey yelled in a very unlike Mikey way, making me stare at him in putrid shock.
"Mikes, I didn't mean it like that!" I begged, sensing that I had truly committed the biggest damned fuck-up in the history of ever.
I never got a reply to my heart-felt plea, because Mikey tore off again, leaving me crying helplessly on that motherfucking bench.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review and tell me what you think. :)