Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Playhouse

To Preserve

by Wicked_Lovely 2 Reviews

See, it's never bad enough, to just leave or give up. But it's never good enough to feel right.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama,Fantasy,Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2011/11/02 - Updated: 2011/11/03 - 2118 words - Complete

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A week passed, Spencer being told he was well enough to leave the hospital. Ryan took care of him, never speaking a word to anyone. It was almost as if he had lost his voice as soon as Spencer had woken up. Brendon stayed at the small apartment, despite the hatred that Ryan thought he felt for him. And even though he lived in the house, he was hardly ever there. This left Ryan to do all the work, despite his everything else he already had to do. There was never a moment when he could rest; he always had something to do. He was a full time student, had one part-time job, and one full time job. With Brendon hardly doing anything to help, Ryan was left to cook, clean, and take care of their sick friend.
So Ryan sat at the table , doing his homework as Spencer's lunch sat cooking on the stove. His stomach growled, his head feeling heavy as he tried his best to finish his work. He stopped when the food was ready, scooping some out for Spencer, who slept in his bare room. Ryan knocked on the door, waiting for Spencer to tell him to come in.
He was curled up in the bed, his head facing the door as the rest of his body stayed warm under the thick covers. He watched Ryan walk in with lifeless eyes. His gaze was steady, and Ryan knew that he could see just how thin he was getting; the scabbed over cuts on his arms, the thin bones that stuck out of torn fabric, the dark bags under hopeless eyes. He could see everything. Ryan sat the food down on the bedside table, turning to leave.
"Ryan, what happened to you?" Spencer's words were weak, filled with longing, though Ryan wasn't sure what for. He didn't answer, but rather kept walking till he was back to the kitchen, where he collapsed into the closest chair. He rested his head on the table, thinking back to when his and Spencer's rolls were reversed.
He thought back to every thing that had lead up to it, back when he had someone to tell him that it would all catch up eventually. Well it caught up, and honestly, the weight of his decisions were impossible to hold. But at least they were never His. Then came the regret. He had never been good at finishing things, and this particular thing was something that was better off finished. He had regret, thinking that if he had just dug the knife a little farther in, if he hadn't called Spencer the day before, that he would have made it.
He was crying, the table becoming damp with his tears.
Spencer had asked him why. He had asked oh so many times, and every time Ryan had no answer. He had no idea as to why Ryan would act the way he did back then, and he never would. No matter how much Ryan loved Spencer, he knew that it would never be enough to tell him everything. And looking back on it, that was probably why he tried to end it in the first place.
There was a call; his name in Spencer's voice. Ryan forced himself to stand going to the room that Spencer had been staying in. He gave Ryan a soft smile when the younger boy walked in the room, and asked for a little more food. Ryan didn't deny him, taking his bowl to go refill it. He knew that if Spencer had seconds that he wouldn't get any food, but at this point, he couldn't care less. He refilled the bowl, finding that with every step he took he became a little more dizzy. By the time he had given Spencer his food, he found it almost impossible to walk straight, and once he was outside of his room and walking back to the kitchen, he collapsed, falling to the floor. He stared blankly in front of him for a few seconds, feeling his stomach growl once more, before he passed out.

Footsteps thumped through the house, Spencer skidding every so slightly on the dusty floors as he made his way to the room with the black door. Jon followed, though he was somewhat far behind. He said that there was a trick that he wanted to show Spencer, and on top of that, there was more than one thing that Spencer wanted to ask him. He found his favorite spot on the floor, staring up at the dotted ceiling.
He grinned from ear to ear when Jon leaned over him, the older boy having a large smile on his face. "Ready?" He questioned, though he knew the answer before he even spoke the words. Spencer nodded and Jon tossed candles up into the air, the younger watching as flames ignited them, the little sticks of wax floating up to the starry ceiling. Spencer was just as impressed as he always was when Jon wanted to show him something, though he still had a few questions nagging him. He thought, that he had spent enough time with Jon to know the answer. Perhaps, even ask the biggest one, he felt towards the other boy.
"Jon?" He watched as Jon positioned himself on the floor next to him, smiling up at what he had done.
"Yes?" Spencer moved so his head was on Jon's lap, making the other boy turn his attention back to him.
"Have you ever...wanted to drink from a human?" Jon stayed silent for a few seconds closing his eyes. Spencer watched as he licked his lips, his tongue moving across the thin things as if he had a craving. When he opened his eyes once more Spencer couldn't help but blush ever so slightly at his intense stare, his smile still in place on his pale lips. Jon ran a hand through Spencer's hair, the younger boy leaning into the touch.
"More than just that. It's not like I haven't done it before." Spencer looked at him for a few seconds.
"Does it hurt? The human, I mean." Spencer sighed. "What does it feel like?"
"I can't say for the person that's giving the blood, but I know that the times I've done it I end up feeling a sort of connection with the person. Like our hearts are one." Spencer was silent, staring up at Jon who continued to play with his light brown hair.
"Kiss me again?" Jon gave a soft laugh, bending down so that his lips met Spencer's. The younger boy put his hand on the vampires cold cheek, smiling against the feeling. He muttered against Jon's lips, "Bite me?" Jon pulled away, staring at the other boy with wide eyes for a few moments.
"You can't be serious." Spencer looked slightly confused.
"Of course I am." Jon bit his bottom lip, obviously thinking about it.
"Are you sure?" The younger boy grinned, moving so his lips met Jon's once more. He had a unique taste, one that Spencer knew he would always have a longing for. It was like green apples and vodka. Spencer forced himself to pull away.
"Yes." Jon licked his lips once more, this time doing it more like he was nervous. Yet, he still repositioned the two so he was leaning over Spencer, who stayed completely on the ground. His legs were on either side of the younger boys, one of his hands still tangled in Spencer's soft hair while the other held one of the young humans hands. He let go of Spencer's hair, using both of his hands to hold the other boys wrist. He brought it up to his mouth, kissing it delicately. It was obvious that he was trying to avoid actually biting Spencer, not that the other boy was complaining.
Jon ran his fangs across Spencer's wrist, getting ready to sink into the soft flesh before stopping. He let Spencer's wrist drop. "I can't."

The door unlocked before swinging open, a slightly tipsy Brendon wandering into the still apartment. He walked through the halls, going straight to Spencer's room. He tripped over Ryan on his way there, though he didn't bother to pick the boy up, afraid of the reaction that he would give when he woke. Ryan, however, didn't wake to begin with, his tired mind keeping him in the dark. Brendon opened the door to Spencer's room slowly, the sight that was on the other side making him close the door almost as soon as he opened it.
Spencer was on his bed, just like he had been for days. But that wasn't the problem; he was completely naked, on his elbows and knees as he gave soft moans, moving as if there was someone else in the room. And out of all of that the only thing that Brendon could hear was Spencer panting the name of a boy he had never once mentioned before. And he talked almost as if the boy was in the room with him, despite the fact that he was completely alone in the room.
Brendon walked back over to where Ryan stayed on the floor, shaking him roughly to try and get him to wake up. When Ryan finally opened his tired eyes, he looked up at Brendon groggy, hardly able to make out the contours of his figure. "Ryan, we have a problem." The older boy sat up, giving Brendon a puzzled look.

Spencer tilted his head. "Why not?" Jon gave a small sigh.
"I don't want to hurt you." Spencer brought the wrist that Jon had kissed up to his mouth, biting and tearing at the flesh. Jon watched him for a few seconds before finally taking the hand away from Spencer. "You really want me to do this?" To this, Spencer gave Jon a hopeful look.
"I want you to try." He bit his lip once more, weighing the pros and cons in his head. Finally, he nodded.
"All right." He took the hurt wrist, licking the bite wounds Spencer had made before resting his fangs on it once again.
"J-on!" What started out as an exasperated statement ended up being closer to that of strangled gasp. He watched as Jon sucked on his soft flesh, his eyes closed as he drank from Spencer. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, and he couldn't help but let out a soft moan before his eyes fluttered closed. And then came the beating of the drum, and soon enough, Spencer realized that it was his heart, the sound going faster and faster.
He was panting, moaning, shaking under Jon. Which, in turn, made the other boy do the same. For that small amount of time, it seemed that they were the same person. And once they had started, they found it impossible to stop. From there, they continued despite, well, everything.


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patdfan01: That's true. Anyway, I'm glad you like it. (As always.)

AnotherKnifeInMyHand: I do think that this particular chapter wasn't that good, but at least all of the ones before it were pretty good. Right?
No ones goning to die...Yet. Maybe. Not sure. But if one does die, I can gaurntee it won't be till around the last chapter.

TheAnonymous: I feel that if I had money, I would end up making a sort of circus type house. Maybe one like the Winchester Manson. And I would most definetly have a completely white room somewhere.
But, I don't. So that's not going to happen unless I just go COMPLETELY mad some day and decide to do it anyway.
Happy to hear that you like it.

PartyPoison: True. It isn't going to end up being a pretty ending, but we already knew that. I think I'm going to put more into what's going on with Brendon at some point in the next chapter. And in all honesty, I think this story has a lot that I'm not putting in. Perhaps I should attempt to write more?
There is a line that I try to keep in place because I completely agree that some go overbored while others don't have quite enough. I try to not be one of those people.
Sleep, while very magical, is one of my least favorite of things. Without it, the world would be more productive. And people would be better at listening since they would never be tired. But there's nothing we can do. At least, until they finally decide to make a pill that makes it to where you don't need sleep.
And I'm not doing the one shot because I'm a terrible person. Yay!

-xoxo Pansy.
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