-It's not too late, it's never too late.-
"Look." She whispered, staring down below the bleachers. The entire school was crammed in to the gymnasium for a surprise 'speech.' No one had given any information on what the speech was about so I had been boredly writing out my math homework as we waited.
I stared in utter confusion as Brendon walked towards the mic, finishing his conversation with the principal. "Hello, I'm Brendon Urie." Brendon stated, fidgeting. Applause broke out in the small gym, causing my ears to hurt.
"As most of you are aware there was an accident not to long ago in which Kacy Benton was hospitalized. That 'accident' in reality was actually a harsh attack that left Kacy without her memory. Now I know most of you are in tune with what is going on now. I have asked Ms. Benton for her hand in marriage. I love her. She is the one for me. I'm sorry that some of you have had trouble coming to terms with this but I am no longer going to look the other way." Brendon's voice had hardened as he surveyed the audience.
"The ones who attacked her previously have struck again. Thankfully no long term damage has occured this time." He paused. The entire gynasium had gone dead silent, every single person hanging on to his every word. "I'm asking... Please if you know anything about who has done this then please come forward."
"If you are the ones who have done this... Then please come forward. This needs to stop." Whispers went through the crowd as Jon, Ryan, and Spencer entered the gymnasium, waving to the students. "My band members have a few words for you all as well. Thank you for listening to me. I appreciate any help that is given to deal with this matter." He did a small wave and Jon took over the microphone.
"Hello everyone!" Jon's voice boomed through out the gym, being met with another round of applause. "I'm speaking on behalf of Ryan Ross and Spencer Smith standing over there by Brendon." He gestured towards his friends. "And unfortunately we have bad news for fans of our band."
"Brendon Urie is withdrawing himself from the band if this goes unsettled." Jon paused as people whispered through out the gym once again. I felt myself start to freeze inside. Brendon lose something he loves? Just because of me? No. This could not happen!
"Brendon feels that he is the cause of this mess. He, well we all, feel that these fans need help. What has happened is not normal and can not go without consequences. Our band does not tolerate violence. It will be a sad day if Brendon leaves us but we will all understand. He cannot remain a part of our band with the knowledge that fans of ours are going around hurting another, claiming it's for him."
Ryan stepped up beside Jon. "If anyone would like to give any details they are aware of or if anyone wishes to turn themselves in then please go directly to the office and from there they will assist you in speaking with a police officer regarding the matter. The entire band thanks you for your cooperation." And with that him and Jon stepped away from the mic, hurriedly talking with the principal once again.
"Are you okay?" Lisa whispered as students started leaving the gynasium loudly. I was sitting quietly, stunned.
I shook my head, "I'm not okay." I wasn't. Brendon was probably the most wonderful person I had ever met. Why had I been such a bitch the other night? It wasn't as if he had gone on a killing spree. I needed to lighten up. What was wrong with me? I realized I had left Lisa hanging without further answer so I continued, "I left Brendon last night." I heard her gasp.
I closed my eyes, realizing I had no good reason to give. "I left the best thing that has ever happened to me because he got drunk. I'm an idiot. An absolute idiot."
Lisa patted my hand in a comforting gesture. "It'll be okay. He'll understand. He always understands." He did always understand. He was always understanding when I was a bitch. Why couldn't I give him one night of understanding? Return the favor? Because I was a failure of a girlfriend, that's why.
"I, I..." I fumbled with my cell phone, dropping my notebook. "I need to talk to Brendon. Need to apologize." I whispered, worried that this would be the one time when he would finally decide that enough was enough. Would he finally decide to stop wasting his time with me?
Lisa grabbed my notebook, holding it out to me. "I understand. Go talk to him!"
I worded 'thank you' to her as I quickly scurried away, texting Brendon as quickly as I could. -Still at the school? Could we talk?-
I found myself stumbling through the hallway, clutching at my notebook for dear life. "Oh my god, he's right there!" Someone squealed, causing me to pause and change direction.
Brendon was standing in the hallway, talking to a girl I'd seen around school a few times. I couldn't think of her name though. Did that matter? I nervously approached them. Brendon was playing with something in his hand but he looked up and caught sight of me, "Kacy." He said, causing the other girl to fall silent and turn towards me.
"Brendon..." I licked my lips, realizing that they were unbearably dry.
I vaguely noticed the girl wander away from us as I played with my notebook. Then it all gushed out, "I was such a fool! You can drink! You're of age. I don't even know why I got so mad, it was so stupid. I can't do this whole being away from you thing! One night killed me. I can't do it again, ever again. Not tonight, not ever. I can't do it. I won't. I refuse. I need you. I love you. I'm sorry! Please forgive me?" I was gasping for air by the time I finished my miniature speech.
Brendon's lips twitched until he finally grinned, supressing a laugh. "Did you... did you think I hadn't already forgiven you?" He asked, giggling winning out finally.
I sighed, was he going to make a joke of my apology? "I... I don't know Brendon. I just don't want to lose you. I'm so sick of being a fool when it comes to our romance. I seem to be the one always screwing things up and you're always taking the blame and well, I think you're right. I think I am just too stupid to be alone. I need you. I've needed you all along. To protect me, to make me happy. I need you for everything. Evidently I am uncapable of running my own life." I started to get slightly depressed as I let the truth fall from my lips.
Brendon's smile was quickly replaced by a frown and his giggling was supressed instantly. "I didn't mean what I said the other night. I was drunk. When I'm drunk I'm the idiot." He sounded ashamed.
I shook my head immediately. "No Brendon, I believe what you said. It was the truth. I just... I'm just so weak." Tears leaked from my eyes and once again the feeling of weakness became overwhelming. Did I really have to cry in the middle of the hallway?
Brendon sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "You're upset. Look, I think maybe we should go somewhere private." he suggested. I nodded, grateful for the suggestion.
Brendon and I walked down the school hallway together, silently. I brushed my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt as I tried to act natural. Once the warm air hit my face I felt free. At least now there weren't so many people staring!
I felt Brendon's gentle grasp on my arm as he steered me in another direction, towards his car. "I'm parked right over here." He whispered, quickly letting go of my arm.
I opened the passengers side door and slipped in, placing my notebook on his dashboard as I wiped more tears away quickly. "I'm sorry Brendon..." I immediately started talking as soon as he sat down. "I'm never gonna be a strong person. I feel so... so broken all the time and it's like every single minute I try to think of something, try to get a feel for something and I just come up blank. It hurts and it makes me scared. I guess I can't completely blame the lack of memories though... I might just be an extremely weak person but I- I never wanted to be your burden. I'm sure of that much. I don't know who I was before but something inside of me just tells me that I would never want to be your burden and I still don't want to be but I don't know how well I'll do without you..." Once again I stopped when I became breathless.
"You've never been a weak person." Brendon whispered, closing his eyes tightly. "You've never been a burden to me."
I remained quiet as I waited for Brendon to speak again. I had to control my voice before I spoke again. I felt like I was going to break in to sobs. Had I been stronger before? Was this new me a giant burden on Brendon and he just wouldn't say so unless completely drunk?
"I'm in love with you Kacy. You seem to be attempting to convince yourself that I'm not but I am and nothing will ever change that. I love you. I love who you are, no injury will be able to change who you are. Even if your memories never come back... I'll always be here. We are gonna fight. It's what couples do, we are no exception. Please don't leave me though, please. I deserve more than that from you and you deserve more than that from me. We've gone so far." Brendon sighed. "We've gone too far to just throw it all away because of one fight." He was right.
I smiled through the tears. These were good tears though. His words made me feel so good inside. It was so hard to explain. "I love you too Brendon. Can we just... go home?" I asked softly.
Brendon smiled, "I'd love to do that." And as he started the car I settled in to the passengers seat, sighing in happiness.
I couldn't imagine wanting my life to be any other way. Despite what I'd lost... Brendon was mine and that was enough. That was more than enough for me.
(Thanks for all the reviews! They made me extremely happy. You guy's are the greatest. (: I hope the differences between Kacy before and Kacy now are becoming clearer and clearer each chapter. I'll have more out soon! There's a lot more to this story so I hope everyone continues enjoying.)*