Sandrine. Benzedrines POV
No wonder he's so messed up, he doesn't have a choice. I wish there was something I could do to help stop it, but I've tried everything and nothing worked. Mr. Sandman is just too much for me I guess. I hate seeing him so miserable, if anything I wish that I was the one stuck like that. Better me then him, right? It wouldn't matter if I was like that, I'm already crazy so why not make it official? Because he wouldn't let that happen, he would rather stay like that then let anyone go through something that horrendous. It's always the same old routine. Him having that glazed, distant look in his eyes sometimes and I would ask what was wrong, and as always he would say 'nothing', but I knew he was lying. Knew he was at war internally, trying to keep his demons at bay. At least until he was alone, then they'd be unleashed and reek havoc upon him. I hate how he lets that happen, but he won't let me help him. Maybe it's because I've failed so many times trying to fix it all, try to attempt to make it go away even for just a little while. Why am I called a doctor if I can't do anything right? That makes no sense to me really, but I guess it's because of (him). My evil persona I have, maybe what's been driving Sandman crazy decided to come infect my body. Maybe that's why I can't seem to figure out how to fix him. It's been controlling my mind so I can't do anything right. Am I willing to take the risk of saving him if it means I die? I think so. I don't care what happens to me as long as he's going to be okay and cured from whatever crazy disease he has that's taking over his mind. So I have to get my act together and focus on him, not whatever this is that he has passed onto me. I cannot let it get in the way of this. At least not until I've taken care of him, then I can worry about defeating this. But what if I don't want to? What if I want this to take over and ruin me beyond recognition? But I can't let that happen. He needs me, I'm the only one he has left ever since Donnie and H.C. died.That effected us all pretty bad,but I think he was torn up the most about it.He knew them longer than I did,and they were closer too. Maybe that's what triggered this. Maybe if I brought them back he'd be better. But there's just one problem, I don't think I could do that. I've never done that before, and besides they were murdered. I could maybe clone their DNA? But that's complicated, it may not seem like it is but it really is. It could take years, and then it might not even work, there could be complications and defaults. And what if this thing destroys us both before I could even think up a plan of how that could happen? Lets pray that doesn't happen, shall we? Unless you want that to happen, then maybe not.