They go home...
Home sweet home! I beam at him. He gives me a weak smile and stays completely silent. You could hear a pin drop in the silence. I turned my key in the lock and allowed him in before me. It feel different this time though. No longer do i relax with the faded scent of citrus fruit or welcomed in by the peeling checkered wallpaper. I just want to go. Go far, far away. The way fairytales always start and the way we all hope they end.
Gerard? I hear Frankies frail cracked voice call from the kitchen. I follow his voice floating through the air and find him looking nervous in the centre of the cold tiled kitchen floor. She- She left you this. He blurts out, extending his hand and giving me a neatly addressed envelope. I would recognise that swirled caligraphic style handwriting anywhere. It was from Sophia. Reluctantly i tore the envelope open, Frank watching with fearful yet hypnotised eyes.
We've had three years together now. Good years they have been too.
But there's nothing left here for me now. Me and my new fiancee are leaving for Majorca later tonight. Mikey told me you would be back. We also are selling this house that we lived in for so long. You have to be out by 10am tomorrow.
Best wishes for your future,
Fucking hell! I punch a hole in the weak, filthy kitchen wall. Best wishes for my future? Fucking burn in hell you whore! How dare she?! I pant in pure rage, not believeing that even she would leave me homeless. More to the point, she's left Frank homeless too.
Hey, hey calm down. I'm stunned to see Frank rushing over and comforting me. It should be the other way around surely. It was only yesterday he lost his mother and tried to end his life a second time. Hey, it's a new start. I get you loved her and all but just think of it Gee. You could go travelling wherever you liked, go for a new career. Find someone new. Anything is possible. Frank rubbed my back soothingly.
Even being with you? I mutter just under my breath. He looks startled for a second and jumps a mile away from me. Woah! What?! Franks exclaims surprise and it dawns on me that he heard everything. Uh ermm.. er... nothing. I said even- feeling...so blue. I laugh. Why what did you think i said? I say running a nervous hand through my hair. That was a close call and a half! Um--ok. He chuckles nervously, clearly not liking the situation. He jumped away from me so fast. He hates me. He must for him to react in that way. It just makes so little sense. What is going on in his head? I guess anything is possible.
I was laying in the grass of the back yard as Gerard packed up his belongings inside. It was July right now. Almost the peak of The American Summertime. It was late in the afternoon and soon we would be searching for somewhere to go for a few nights. It was only temporary, but the thought made me tense and sent shivers down my spine. Gerard had promised i was welcome to stick with him, he told me he would need the company anyway. Yet, from what i'd gathered overhearing one of his phonecalls we would be staying with one of his relatives until we found somewhere more permanent. I had never met any of his family and they might hate my guts for all i knew. I had no job. Not a penny to my name. Only half decent clothes. And no such thing as family. Family. That part stung the most. The wound my mothers death had left, reopening and stinging raw like it did all those hours ago.
Hey, we're going to stay with my Grandma. You'll love her. Gerard smiles laying down beside me. What are you thinking about? He questions, glancing at me.His enticing green orbs full of wonder. Nothing much. I replied staring up at the fluffy clouds moving slowly above me. Everything turned or changed somehow. I don't understand why it has to be that way. Why would something so already perfect and flawless ever have to change. Then i would still have a mother. I would never have left her. I would have been able to keep every promise i ever made to anyone. And now, what happened in the kitchen earlier was bugging me. I swear he said what i thought he did. I wouldn't expect that from someone so amazing and valuable but i just knew. I heard him for screaming out load.
I can't believe it. I have never been this brave before. Gerard, what did you say earlier in the kitchen? I know for a fact you didn't say anything about feeling sad. I looked up at him. He was nibbling at his lower lip, which i had noticed he did alot. I said something that isn't relatively important. Nobody needs to know about it or anything. It was just a silly daydream. He said crossing one leg over the other and looking right up into the clear blue of the sky. Such a pretty day, no matter how cold it tended to get at nighttime.
Please tell me? I pleaded with him giving my best "little boy lost" kind of gaze.
Okay. Promise me something though? You won't freak out or leave. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. I've never seen someone look so terrified in all my life. I would never freak out on you, don't worry. And even if i wanted to go away, where would i have to run to? I reminded him laughing. My way home is through you. I was actually being truthful with someone as well as myself for the first time in all of my sixteen shitty years. Okay then. I'm sorry about this. Frankie Iero, i love you. Even though it's only been two days and so much has happened to you. He forces out shaking all the while. And it's like music to my ears. Something i had longed for but never expected i would hear.
I kno- I cut him off and crashed my lips to his. Electric volts running under my skin, through my veins sending me into oblivion as we lay there tightly bound together. And then, out of the sky, soft droplets of warm summer rain began to fall.
Aww! The Frerardness begins! :) x