Series. The kids are training hard, but Kakashi's a little distracted. What can pull him away from an uplifting day, watching Sasuke and Naruto fight? Hey, what's that book in his hand? Make Out Pa...
This is all about Kakashi and italics are his thoughts.
A stray gust of wind stirred up a circle of loose leaves, where the ninja had been standing. No-one had seen him leave and from his vantage point in the trees, he watched two figures run through the bushes as the last, lonely shinobi called out from his spot, facing the trees, his eyes closed.
"... 9, 10 ..."
Of course, in my day, we never bothered counting, or turning around. If you couldn't disappear in plain sight, you'd no business being a ninja. He watched as the two figures settled themselves in the undergrowth and the counting stopped. They won't expect to find me, for a good while, anyway. I may as well pop home for a bit.
His flight disturbed not a bird, stone or twig and he soon dropped in through his bedroom window. Passing through the sitting room, he switched on his computer, before boiling a kettle in the kitchen.
l33t_ninja, you've got mail!
The computer bleated at him until he clicked the check mail button and settled before it, with his cup of tea. He drank while skimming through the subject lines. Ooh, hot, he thought, before blowing on the liquid. Most of the mails were from flame wars he's been perpetuating. He read the most promising, before copying and pasting their responses, to send to the lamors who had yet to fully grasp the fine art.He nearly deleted the week-old "What you've been waiting for" email, thinking it was spam, before noticing who had sent it. What?
He opened it, his cool, shinobi heart beating a trifle faster.
From: "Dale's Stores" firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: What you've been waiting forKakashi,
How've you been doing, friend? I haven't heard from you in a month! How're the kids panning out? I can't believe that you actually passed someone, they must be promising.Anyway, I've just gotten in something that I know you're dying for. I'll hold a copy for you and you can kill someone in return, for me.Kidding! Cold hard cash please ;). I know you'd get me if I didn't email you the instant Make Out Paradise 4 came out.
Call in for a chat sometime, okay? I miss you.
He read it a second time. Then a third. /Make Out Paradise 4/? /Volume 4/? It was out? He leapt up and grabbed his wallet from the counter, then clambered out the window and stealthily raced off to Dale's Stores.
The shop was crowded. Dale's was a small store, with heavily laden shelves taking every available space. There was little room for customers, even when it was empty. They say that even the staff toilets suffer from shelving and that the most interesting titles are kept there. Kakashi carefully pushed through the free-standing book piles that guarded the door, without knocking any over (disturbnotaleaf-no-jutsu) and looked around. A long line of trench-coat wearing men queued at the till, conspicuously hiding the titles of the book they were trying to purchase./ Being a ninja means never having to queue. HiddenKakashi-no-jutsu!/ His hands formed the seal and he disappeared from the sight of ordinary men. Being a ninja means never having to pay, but doing it anyway ... The Hokage sees to that. The space under the shop counter was a tight fit, especially as Kakashi strived to remain unseen. He flipped through the lay-aways, noting the odd interesting reservation, I never knew that Hokage the Fourth was interested in embroidery, until he came to the sealed package simply marked Kakashi. It was small matter to slip the book out, replace it with the money and leave the envelope unmarked. Itemswap-no-jutsu! Kakashi lovingly pocketed Make Out Paradise Volume 4 and slipped out from under the counter. Gracefulexit-no-jutsu!
The journey home was slightly marred by a tiny shower of dust, as Kakashi jumped up to the tree-line. However, it was made in (superspeed-no-jutsu!) record time. Kakashi carefully slid in through the upstairs window and selected his favourite reading jacket from his wardrobe. As he walked down the stairs to his sitting room, he carefully examined the book's jacket, running his fingers over the shiny paper and searching the illustration for clues as to its contents. He didn't open the book, even as he manoeuvred the oversized, wine armchair into position by the fireplace. The book kept him mesmerised. I wonder if ... no, that can't have happened. There was a rumour of a swimsuit episode ... My, she looks hot on the cover... Luckily, the fireplace was set and a quick lightfire-no-jutsu soon had the room warmed and cheery. Do I have everything? Fire, comfy chair, soft jacket, Make Out Paradise ... cup of tea!
Kakashi was still consumed with his purchase and didn't notice Naruto standing outside his front door, until he'd been framed in the window. He instantly fell to the floor, but was rewarded with the heavy thud of his doorknocker. No! I want to read my new book in comfort! He stayed where he was for a few moments. Maybe if I'm really quiet... Thud!/ Feck./ He reluctantly got to his feet, waved cheerily through the window at Naruto and opened the door. How do I get rid of him?
"Hi there, Naruto. Did you find Sasuke and Sakura okay?" he asked.
Naruto reached out and tugged at Kakashi's sleeve. "Now I've got you too, master." The full beam of Naruto's smile hit his master and Kakashi smiled with his eyes and waved in submission.
"Well done, Naruto," he said warmly, before stepping back to close the door. Naruto's foot wedged it open.
"Master, is training over for today?" he asked, incredulously.
"Yes, Naruto. Well done. As a bonus, you three can have the rest of the day off," Kakashi grunted as he tried to push Naruto's foot out of the way.
"Master, master!" Naruto whispered, conspiratorially. Kakashi grunted in response, still working on Naruto's feet. His left foot was finally dislodged, just after his two hands reached between the door and its frame. "I know that Sasuke ... is better than you? ... I was hoping ... Could you give me extra training?" he finally said in a rush.
"Extra training?" Kakashi answered. No! No! If I give you extra training, I won't be able to read my book. Well, he amended, I will be able to read it, but not in comfort. Not the way a first reading deserves. Argh. He pondered the question for a moment. How do I tell Naruto "no" without him hanging around my house, eating my ramen and pumping me for l33t ninja wisdom? He smiled. "Of course, Naruto. I'm pleased that you've taken such a deep interest in your studies.
Naruto beamed even wider, laughed and rubbed his head. Sometimes I feel guilty, then I remember what a pain you are to teach sometimes and it gets easier. Kakashi scrunched his eyes and ruffled Naruto's hair.
"Listen up, Naruto. Sasuke's doing his secret training in the North Woods. I want you to find him. He'll be using advanced, Uchiha techniques, so be careful. You can't backtrack, so be sure that you've not missed something, before moving on. If you find him before," Kakashi glanced at the sky briefly, before continuing, "sundown, then I'll be very pleased with you." And I should have finished my first read by then.
Naruto saluted and ran off. Kakashi sighed and closed the door. He boiled the kettle, scalded his teapot, put in tea-leaves and filled it up with water. While he was letting the tea steep, the knocker thudded again. Naruto, what bit didn't you understand he sighed as he opened the door.
"Master Kakashi!" said Sasuke, as he saluted. "Err, I saw Naruto come this way... and..."
Sasuke too? "Yes, Naruto has taken on some extra training. He's practising his concealment techniques in the South Woods. If you were to find him, then he'd probably get embarrassed, so stay away, okay?"
"Of course," Sasuke glowered, before heading off in the direction of the South Woods. Kakashi returned to his tea and poured his first cup. He took a sip, Perfect! before the door announced another visitor./ Bad things come in threes./ He opened it to reveal Sakura.
"Sasuke, West Woods, practising con..."
He didn't even have to finish talking before Sakura made her excuses and left. He closed the door, bolted it and pulled the curtains across the windows, before curling up beside the fire, with his tea and his book.
He began to read.
It's always hard to start a fic in a new fandom. I hope that you don't take issue with my dothings-no-jutsu but I don't speak japanese and you probably don't either, so this is easier to read and understand. I don't use japanese terms, since translators usually don't leave them in either.
Please tell me what you think. Constructive criticism welcomed and flames tolerated.