Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Demolition Lovers

I Don't Love You

by MCRmy_Chick 2 reviews

The morning after, and Gerard has second thoughts.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2011-11-11 - Updated: 2011-11-12 - 1498 words

3Ambiance
AN: New chapter! Yay!

Frank woke up fearing for his life.

Where was he? Why did he hurt so bad? And what in God's name was he laying on?! The answers came to him slowly in his sleep-muddled state.

He was in an apartment. Gerard had seen him pass out in front of the motel and decided to help. He hurt so bad because Peter was a sex-deprived son-of-a-bitch who liked to get rough.

And they said prostitutes couldn't be raped. At least he got paid $300 for it.

Now for the last mystery. What was he laying on? Whatever it was, it was soft and warm. Frank ran his hand over it, trying to guess what it was in the darkness. Finally, he got it.

"Oh my God," Frank whispered. "An actual comforter." Frank lived in a motel somewhere near the center of the city, where the only blanket was a thin wool one. This comforter was heaven in comparison.

As Frank snuggled down under the thick blanket, he heard a low moan. Remembering that he wasn't alone, Frank waited for Gerard to wake up.

Eventually, Gerard's dark head popped up from beneath the blanket; a black smudge in the already dark room.

"Frank?" he called groggily. Frank chuckled quietly. In the dark, he could see Gerard's hazel eyes shining.

Frank felt a lanky arm making it's way across the expanse of the bed, and soon Gerard located his new friend. 

"Morning," Gerard said, his voice still thick with sleep. 

"Morning," responded Frank, grinning at the way Gerard's eyes refused to open completely. Looking at the clock, Frank noticed that it was 11:00. "Oh, sorry, man!" he said, leaping off the bed and immediately regretting it.

The pain of yesterday's injuries hit him like a truck on the highway. Black and white spots popped in front of his eyes, and his stomach rolled as he swayed unsteadily.

Gerard scrambled off the bed. "Frank!" The older man reached out to steady him. Frank gratefully allowed Gerard to support him, unsure if he was going to pass out or not.

After a while, the fog that had settled in Frank's brain cleared. His green eyes flicked upward to see Gerard watching him with a look of concern on his face. His black hair was wild around his pale face, and Frank felt the sudden urge to see if Gee's hair was as dangerous as it looked.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. "Just not fully awake."

Gerard didn't look convinced, so Frank continued. "Alright, I'm a little sore," he admitted. "But really! I'll be out of here within ten minutes."

Dark hazel eyes widened in surprise. Gerard sat Frank on the bed carefully, his expression worried. "You're leaving?"

Frank winced at the hurt in Gerard's voice. "I don't live here," he answered simply.

"I could make room for you here," said Gerard, his eyes pleading. "You don't need to go back to... back to that."

The two man stared at eachother for a long time, each silently begging for the other to reconsider. Eventually, Gerard gave up.

"Fine," he sighed, and Frank noticed that the sigh was one of crushed hope. "At least let me lend you some clothes."

"I have clothes," Frank protested, although he was grateful. Back in his motel room, he had drawers and drawers of 'work' clothes, but nothing else.

Gerard glared at Frank. "Please, just take some."

Frank didn't argue this time.

Ten minutes later, the two were standing at Gerard's front door. Frank had borrowed a baggy white t-shirt on which Gerard had written 'Thank You For The Venom' in red and black marker. His jeans were a bit long since Gerard was taller, but at least they didn't make sitting down a challenge.

"Well," said Frank, swinging his arms back an forth awkwardly. "Guess this is it." He stuck out a hand. "Thanks for patching me up."

Gerard stared at the hand. Suddenly, he wrapped his gangly arms around Frank and hugged him tightly. Frank was so startled, he didn't even have time to gasp before his vision was blocked by Gee's shoulder. Just as Frank was beginning to wonder if he would ever breathe again, Gerard released him and thumped him on the back.

"Come visit sometime," said Gerard, looking somewhat distracted. "We'll see if JJ leaves Will or not, and then you can bet I'll be rubbing it in your face when she does." He chuckled weakly, hardly even smiling.

Frank grinned, but he thought it might've looked like a grimace. "Yeah, right," he said. Frank reached behind him for the doorknob, located it, and twisted it. The door swung open to reveal the hall, and beyond that, the streets and life he knew.

There was an awkward silence. What else do you say to someone you've known less than twenty-four hours? Frank suddenly felt the urge to shut the door and stay in the apartment, to eat breakfast with Gerard and argue about T.V shows and who had the best hair. The longing was so strong, Frank felt his hand twitch toward the open door. Reluctantly, he stepped backwards through the doorway.

"Bye, Gee," he said softly.

"Bye, Frankie," came the equally-quiet reply. Gerard looked like he was about to break down and beg Frank to stay, and Frank almost wished he would.

He didn't.

And then the door did close, but Frank and Gerard were on opposite sides of it. Casting one last lingering glance at the door and the man behind it, Frank turned down the hall and left.

-

Gerard hated himself. He had just let Frank close the door; had just let Frank leave him, probably never to return.

The black-haired man was furious with himself, but it was too late to change things. The clock told him that Frank had left nearly half an hour ago, and so Gerard sat at the table and numbly ate his fruit loops. He stayed in this unfeeling state of mind, doing things that meant nothing until darkness started to creep its way into the apartment.

"Idiot," he said to himself. "You knew him for less than a day; get over it."

But he couldn't. Frank had opened a door when he closed another; he had unwittingly made Gerard realize that he was lonely. He spent most of his days by himself, but it was what he was used to. He hadn't noticed it. What did Stephen King write? That a man blind from birth didn't know he was blind until someone told him?

'It's funny,' Gerard thought, sipping his evening coffee while the 7 o'clock news droned meanlessly in the other room. 'Frank told me I was blind. I was used to being blind; I didn't mind it. So then Frankie comes along and fucks everything up with his big fat mouth and his goddamn 20/20 vision!'

This last thought made him miss having Frank around, just so he wouldn't have to laugh on his own anymore.

It was nearly ten when Gerard realized why he hadn't been able to return to his comfortable blindness. The truth was, in the short time Gerard had known him, Frank had made Gerard fall in love with him.

'No,' Gerard corrected mentally. 'Not in love, just the thing that comes before love.'

Gerard had struggled with his sexuality since the seventh grade, when he developed a crush on a boy in his class. The thought that he might be gay scared the hell out of him; he'd seen older boys pushing around gay people and calling them 'fags'. He had seen drag queens marching down the street (not that there was anything wrong with dressing up in drag, just not all the time). Gerard Way did not want to be gay. Gerard chuckled at the rhyme before regaining his train of thought.

After long and painful arguments with himself, Gerard decided he must be bisexual. He got crushes on girls, but every now and then a certain guy would come along and he'd feel exactly the same way. He'd just never been in love before.


So when Frank paraded around his mind that night, Gerard didn't have any trouble falling asleep. It was easy to sink into unconsciousness knowing that there was a chance, no matter how small, that Frank might some day come back to visit. And then Gerard might drop some hints about his feelings, just to see if Frank felt the same way.

Feeling light-headed from all the thoughts about Frank and feelings, Gerard slipped into bed and fell asleep.

That night, Gerard drempt that he had convinced Frank to stay. He and Frank were just getting ready to watch T.V when a massive bear charged into the living room, a bear with dark blonde fur that roared in a sensless fury over the sounds of JJ finally leaving Will because he hated fruit loops, and Frank was screaming, and Frank was bleeding...

Hurting...

Dying...
 
:::::::::: Demolition Lovers ::::::::::
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