Frank loves Gerard…but Gerard cheats ( yeah I suck at summaries)
We had nothing to say to each other. Gerard had cheated on me. End of story, and end of us. I was sitting in my room crying over the love I had lost and the time I had wasted, when Gerard walked in. “Frankie...” he murmured, apology and regret lacing his voice, “Frankie...Please...I know I was stupid, but I’m nothing without you.” I glared at the man who I had once thought would be my soulmate, my forever, and said “Then why the hell did you do it? Am I not enough for you, am I so ugly you need to go prancing around with sluts and whores to make up for it?!?” By this point, I was shouting and crying harder than ever. “Shhh, Frankie,” said Gerard, wiping away I tears. “It wasn’t like that. She just threw herself at me, and I was drunk-” “WHAT? YOU WERE FUCKING DRUNK?!?” I screamed, “HAVE YOU LEARNED ANYTHING? THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED YOU NEARLY KILLED YOURSELF, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!” “Do you think you have to tell me that? Like I said I was being extremely stupid that night,” said Gerard. “Stupidity?!?! Is that your best? Come on, Gee. We both know you have a shitload of excuses shoved up your ass. Oh, and I’m even more pissed at you now,” I said, calmer now. “And you have every right to be. But, please, hear me out, and then if you never want to talk to me again, I won’t bother you anymore.” “Okay, fine. Get talking,” I said, reluctantly.
“I was out yesterday -I just was going to Starbucks- and I saw her. I don’t mean I saw her in the whole ‘love-at-first-sight’ way. It was literally just a passing glance; at least for me. She was obviously interested, and came up and we started talking. She was nice enough, but nothing compared to you. She happened to be a big fan of My Chem and asked my if I wanted to hang out. I said ‘yeah, I’m sure my boyfriend wouldn’t mind’ so she knew I was not available. Anyway, we ended up at this club. I went up to the bar and ordered a Coke, but the bartender screwed up and put rum in it too. Once I had a taste, I just couldn’t stop. If I had had one more drink, I probably would have blacked-out. The girl, Nikki, used this to her advantage. She came up to me and started grinding on me, and I was so fucking wasted I actually forgot about the fact I wasn’t single for a second- which I know was horrible- and I leaned in and kissed her. Then, well, one thing led to another, and here we are.”
“You do realize that is not a very good excuse,” I said calmly, trying to mask the pain I was feeling, “Even if you did forget about me in that moment, why did it go any farther? Why didn’t you stop it?” Gerard looked down at his feet, ashamed, and said as clearly as he could while choking back tears, “I don’t know, I honestly don’t. I think a part of me wanted to stop, but another just appreciated the fact that someone WANTED me. I was so stupid. I know you never want to see me again, so I’ll just leave.” Now the tears were flowing freely, and he started to leave the room. I solemnly watched him go, trying to hold I own tears in and save whatever scraps of dignity I still had. I felt like my heart was being ripped in half as I watched the beautiful man I still loved walk away from me, but I couldn’t make myself say anything. And as soon as I heard the front door slam shut, I started sobbing so hard, my entire body shook.
I was a fucking wreck. The moment I left I ran home as fast as I could and locked myself in my bathroom. I dug out the razor I still kept, even though I had rarely used it with Frank around, and ran it down my arm, relishing the sight of the blood gently dripping from the shallow cut.