How dare she mention him?
Anyways,please let me know if you like the chapter. Does anyone know what is up with poor Gerard and why he is acting so stupid? Take a guess? I know! Ha!
Frank`s mother knocks once on the door and enters the room, a small, tired looking smile on her pale, youthful face that widens dramatically into a very large grin when she sees the four of us sitting in the small, untidy bedroom. I remember her face vaguely from my childhood; she had always been an overly cheerful, helpful and bubbly person. As I place down a recent issue of Kerrang! down on Frank`s unmade bed, on top of the crumpled red and black duvet. A small part of my idiotic, slightly mental brain wonders whether she recognised me at all. It had been years since I had last seen her or Frank, but adults did have better memories. Then again, it wasn`t like I was really worth remembering. I was just some brat kid her son had been friends with, I still wasn`t anything special.
“Oh hello, I didn`t know you made friends already.” Ray and Bob wave at her and return the smile out of politeness, looking a little unsure of what else to do or say to this dark haired, friendly woman.
Her jaw drops when her warm, honey brown eyes meet my hazel green ones, they widen slightly in surprise. Then they narrow in recognition and she manages to regain control of her jaw muscles, closing her pale pink painted mouth.
“I-Aren`t you that Way kid?” Frank`s mom asks, her grin returning to her pretty face. “What is it? Don`t tell me…Gerald?”
I can`t help but smile at the look on her face, resisting the urge to giggle at her slightly confused yet overjoyed expression, shaking my head.
“Gerard.”I correct her and she smiles bashfully at me.
“Of course it is. I did wonder if you and your family were still living here.” She speaks in a kind voice, a genuinely interested one. This woman actually seemed genuinely happy to see me here again. “Is your mother and Father well?” she asks innocently, the dreaded, evil question sparking rage and pain, causing it to explode throughout my entire body as the long ago, still painful memories play in my mind, seeming as real as the postered walls in front of me.
How dare she mention him? I instantly felt bad for thinking that, it wasn`t her fault, she didn`t know.
It wasn`t her fault that I was weak.
“Gee?” I can Hear Frank call my name, speaking in a concerned voice. I can only imagine what he think of me, what they all must must think of me. I was sitting there on the bed, staring onto space, unblinking, fighting back tears, my chapped, badly bitten lips trembling silently. I must look insane. Maybe I was. after all, that`s what he had told me.
He is nothing to me, nothing. As far as I was concerned that loathsome, hate filled man was not my father.
And he doesn’t think of you as his son…The irritating, hurtful voice in my head reminds me, doing nothing but adding to my mental suffering.
“Gerard, are you okay, man?” Bob and Ray ask me at the same time. Frank makes a move to place his thin little arm around my shoulder but I push it away, getting slowly to my feet, still silent.
“Gerard, I am so sorry if I said something to upset you. I was merely asking out of polite-“
“I know.” My voice is croaky. “I know.” Frank comes to stand next me, everyone else looking confused and unsure of what to do. This time he succeeds in wrapping an arm awkwardly around me, the warm touch burning my skin through my jacket, sraising goosebumps on my pale flesh.
“Gee, what`s wrong?” He asks concerned.
I sigh and shake my head, fiery red hair falling into my face, covering my eyes. I was grateful for this, it meant I didn`t have to look directly at anyone as I gather my bag from the bed and leave the room.
“I`m sorry.” I mumble, staring down at the stair carpet, feeling completely ashamed and incredibly stupid. It was all my fault. He was right. I was worthless, I was a freak. Who would ever want anything to do with me? Especially someone as amazing as Frank.
I hurry down the stairs, hair hiding my face still so no one can see the weak, shameful tears as they fall from my eyes. I slam the front door shut, running away for the second time that day, just like the cowardly freakish waste of space I was.