Categories > Original > Humor

Things That Make Me Laugh

by monstrice901 2 Reviews

Read. Seriously - these are fucking hilarious.

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Characters:  - Chapters: 8 - Published: 2011/11/25 - Updated: 2012/04/15 - 4109 words

Reviews

  • Things That Make Me Laugh

    (#) dustycrystal123 2012-04-14 10:53:10 AM

    fun-fucking-tastic is the word that bst describes this! really funny and probably the best story in humour! hoping for the next chapter!

    Author's response

    Hahaha - glad you liked, and when I find something amusing, I'll post it!
  • Things That Make Me Laugh

    (#) Review 2012-06-28 07:57:58 PM

    I was walkin' through the city streets
    And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink
    "Run faster, jump higher"
    Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me

    I threw it on the ground
    You must think I'm a joke
    I ain't gonna be part of your system
    Man! Pump that garbage in another man's veins

    I go to my favorite hot dog stand
    And the dude says, "You come here all the time! Here's one for free."
    I said, "Man! What do I look like? A charity case?"

    I took it and threw it on the ground!
    I don't need your handouts!
    I'm an adult!
    Please!
    You can't buy me hot dog, man!

    At the farmer's market with my so called girlfriend
    She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad
    Man, this ain't my dad!
    This is a cell phone!

    I threw it on the ground!
    What, you think I'm stupid?
    I'm not a part of your system
    My dad's not a phone!
    DUH!

    Some poser hands me cake at a birthday party
    Whatcha want me to do with this? Eat it?

    Happy birthday to the ground!
    I threw the rest of the cake, too!
    Welcome to the real word, jackass!

    So many things to throw on the ground
    Like this, and this, and that, and even this
    I'm an ADULT!

    Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph
    GROUND!
    Nobody wants your autograph, phonies!

    Then the two phonies got up
    Turned out they had a taser
    And they tased me in the butthole

    Fell to the ground
    The phonies didn't let up
    Tasin' on my butthole over and over

    I was screamin' and squirmin'
    My butthole was on fire
    The moral of the story is

    You can't trust the system

    Man!

    Author's response

    ???? ok, then...

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